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19 November 2012 @ 03:41 pm
Fic: Don't Wanna Be A Lion - PG, Parker, Eliot, 5X, Friendship, Gen  
My first Leverage fic! You all knew it was gonna happen sooner or later, right? I think I intended for there to be porn at the end of this. That keeps happening to me. My porn-muse feels so neglected. But Eliot and Parker’s friendship just makes me happy. And no matter what he thinks, Eliot is a big cuddly teddy-bear.

For wolfrider89 - I don’t know why but I blame the fact that I am writing Leverage fic now on her. It seems like it is her fault, somehow. All for you, babe.

Summary: Eliot Spencer is no one damn’s teddy bear, but Parker thinks otherwise. Or five times Parker tried to cuddle with Eliot. Parker & Eliot friendship, rated PG with 1,091 words.


Title: Don’t Wanna Be A Lion
Author: The Artful Dodger / dodger_sister
Fandom: Leverage
Category: 5X, Friendship, Gen
Characters/Pairing: Parker & Eliot
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mild Language.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Eliot Spencer is no one damn’s teddy bear, but Parker thinks otherwise. Or five times Parker tried to cuddle with Eliot.
Word Count: 1,091 words.
Date Written: 06/30/2012
Disclaimer: Leverage, Parker & Eliot are not mine. This story, however, is all mine. Yet, I have no money. For fun, not profit. Also, the title of this fic is from an Elvis Presley song, ‘Teddy Bear’, so thanks to The King for that.
Feedback: Bring it. dodger_sister / TheArtofDodger@comcast.net
Beta’d: Nope.
Author's Notes: My first Leverage fic! I think I intended for there to be porn at the end of this. Huh. I think I like it better this way. Eliot and Parker’s friendship make me happy. And no matter what he thinks, Eliot is a big cuddly teddy-bear.
Dedication: For wolfrider89, I don’t know why but I blame the fact that I am writing Leverage fic now on her. It seems like it is her fault, somehow. All for you, babe.





He was dead asleep the first time she snuck into his room and he nearly killed her for it. Like, literally, killed her.

She crawled into his bed and placed a hand on his shoulder and before he even realized that he was awake, Eliot had flipped over, twisted her arm in a terrible backwards motion and put both knees into Parker’s chest.

The covers were tangled around his lower legs, boxer-briefs slipping off his hips with the movement, and the person under him was squeaking much like a pained animal. Only when the fog of sleep lifted enough for him to realize that he recognized both that squeak and those big eyes staring up at him, did Eliot scramble off of her.

“Parker, Jesus, what the hell? I almost killed you!” Eliot said and slammed a hand against the wall above his bed.

“I think my arm is broken,” Parker said in a rather small voice and Eliot jumped up; to turn on the lights, to get his pants, to bring her some water, anything really, but instead he tripped over his own boots and fell face first on the floor.

“You don’t just come into a man’s room in the middle of the night,” he told his carpet, before getting up and taking her to the emergency room.

He was grateful when her arm turned out not to be broken after all, but he still made it damn clear she better not pull that shit again.

So, naturally, she did.

***

The next time he was awake - sitting up in bed reading a book about the fall of Rome, as one does before bed - but that didn’t stop him from nearly killing her a second time.

It’s his primary reaction to pull a knife when someone is suddenly dangling on a wire outside his bedroom window.

“Parker, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Eliot asked as he pulled her into his bedroom through the window. “I have a fire escape.”

“This is more fun,” she told him and unlatched the line from her belt loop, before jumping onto Eliot’s bed.

“I want to snuggle,” she told him and burrowed underneath the pile of blankets.

“You want to what now?” he asked her.

“Snuggle. Cuddle. Use you as my teddy bear.”

“I am no one’s damn teddy bear,” he told her and then grabbed her by the ankles and yanked as hard as he could.

Parker landed on the floor with a ‘thump’.

“You’re grumpy when you’re tired,” Parker said and then slapped at Eliot the entire time he was dragging her out of the apartment by the back of her shirt.

“Goodnight,” he said and slammed the door in her face.

***

The third time he found her already in his bed as he emerged from the adjoining bathroom, still wet from the shower, using his towel to dry his hair.

“Christ on a stick!” Eliot hollered and then turned around and ran back into the bathroom.

“Hi!” Parker called from the bed.

“Parker, you’re driving me nuts!” he shouted back.

“Come get in bed. I’m tired,” she told him.

“I don’t have any pants on.’

“It’s just your penis, Eliot. I’ve seen it before.”

“What?” he cried and threw open the bathroom door, towel now slung low around his waist. “When? How? Just…never-mind. Get out.”

“But I want to snugglecuddle.”

“I am past my point of caring that you are a girl, Parker. I will punch you in the face.”

“Liar,” she said with a pout, but left the bedroom and a moment later, the apartment as well.

***

The fourth time, Parker’s feet had barely touched the floor - dropping down from the air vent above - before Eliot had both arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

“No, no, no,” she screamed and kicked out ineffectually.

Eliot dragged her from the room but he had to give the kid kudos for the fight she put up.

“Remind me tomorrow to teach you the proper way to dislodge someone who has you from behind,” he told her before he threw her out into the hallway of his apartment building.

“I’ll just sleep out here in the hall!” she yelled at the closed door.

“No, you won’t!” Eliot hollered back. “Go home, Parker!”

He had to will himself not to check and see if she was still out there.

***

The fifth time, he woke up with the intense feeling he was being watched. He flipped his light on and looked around wildly. His hair was wet with sweat, his shirt soaked through and he figured he had to have been dreaming, one nightmare or another.

Eliot got up to change and it was then, with a new clean shirt on and his nerves a little calmer, that he finally noticed the form of a body on his fire escape. She was curled up in a ball, a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Her head was lolled to one side and when he opened the window, he could hear Parker’s soft snores rising and falling with her breathing.

It wasn’t freezing out but it was certainly cold enough for her to get sick and he had no idea how long she had already been out there.

Eliot let out a rather exasperated sigh.

“Well, come on then, sweetheart,” he said and climbed out on the fire escape.

Nuh,” Parker said in her sleep when Eliot leaned down and scooped her up into his arms.

“Sssshhh,” he whispered at her. “It’s just me, Parker.”

“Tired,” she told him and buried her head in the crook of his neck.

“Well, let’s go snugglecuddle then,” he said before adding, “If you ever tell anyone I said that, I’ll hurt you.”

“No, you won’t,” she told him and then curled up further into a ball when he set her on his bed.

Eliot pulled off Parker’s boots and gloves and tucked her under the covers, before climbing into the bed himself.

Once the light was flipped off, Eliot rolled over on his side, put Parker to his back - not an easy thing for a man like him to do - and closed his eyes.

Parker shifted behind him and then one of her arms came up and wrapped around his torso, tucked under his own arm until their hands were intertwined.

“See,” she said into the skin of Eliot’s neck, “you are my teddy bear.”

“Go to sleep, Parker,” he told her. “Just go to sleep.”


The End
 
 
 
Deni: What can I say...?denig37 on November 19th, 2012 09:19 pm (UTC)
LOL, fic made of win!
You're on a roll! :-D
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 25th, 2012 06:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks, babe! Glad you enjoyed it!!

I actually wrote this fic this summer, but I still feel very productive - posting fic, writing comment memes, and this weekend I scribbled some Dean/Cas porn in my notebook! :)
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on November 20th, 2012 12:53 am (UTC)
You know I love my porn, but I think this would have been ruined by the sexin'. :D
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 25th, 2012 06:44 pm (UTC)
You know I love my porn, but I think this would have been ruined by the sexin'. :D

That was the conclusion I came to as well. I wrote it as it flowed and then I tried to imagine how I would fit porn in there and I realized it just wasn't that kind of story. My ideas always start with the intent of porning it up, obvs, but I feel all mature and shit that I now know better than to try to force it. Because Eliot and Parker have the best off-beat friendship and it's what I love most about them anyway.

Thanks for reading! :)
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on November 26th, 2012 12:03 am (UTC)
I enjoyed it a LOT!

Though --and this is TOTALLY not your fault, it's the fault of my former writing partner's super duper uber Mary Sue-- Parker sleeping on the balcony and pouncing all cutely reminded me of a character I pretty much HATE. But you know what? I find taht happening a LOT with characters in many venues. I blame my former writing partner's desire to always have her character Be The Coolest. It's why I killed the bitch off in an alternate timeline, and why I'm exploring ways to re-murder her more permanently....
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 29th, 2012 12:47 am (UTC)
This requires a conversation. About the nature of Mary-Sues. Hang on. PM-ing.
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on November 29th, 2012 01:12 am (UTC)
I think your PM just pinged me. :)
wolfrider89: Lev H/P/Ewolfrider89 on November 20th, 2012 09:46 pm (UTC)
sitting up in bed reading a book about the fall of Rome, as one does before bed

lolololol, of course Eliot, of course.

“It’s just your penis, Eliot. I’ve seen it before.”

Perfect Parker voice is perfect. Also, I want to know when she saw his penis. *nods*

“Well, let’s go snugglecuddle then,” he said before adding, “If you ever tell anyone I said that, I’ll hurt you.”

*hysterical laughter* YES! Eliot said snugglecuddle and my life is now complete! :D

I will gladly take any and all blame for you writing Leverage fic! This was awesome and hilarious and snuggly and did I mention awesome? You really got their voices down pat, and this is just the sort of thing I can imagine Parker doing. Gotta love Parker. :D

This was lovely, bb, and it has put a huge grin on my face. Thank you! *hugs*
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 25th, 2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
You know Eliot reads shit like that before bed! lol

Perfect Parker voice is perfect. Also, I want to know when she saw his penis. *nods*

LOL Okay, this makes me happy because this is actually something I have said in the past myself about my own boobs. At therapy, when I have to take off my shirt but I mean, I have my bra on and I am always like, "They're just my boobs, what's the problem?" lol So maybe there is a little of Parker in me?

I kind of want to know when she saw his penis too! I'll have to think about that.

*hysterical laughter* YES! Eliot said snugglecuddle and my life is now complete! :D

heehee I am happy to have completed your life, babe! lol

I am all stupid smiles that you liked it! Writing Parker was the most fun ever! <3s
smthwallflowersmthwallflower on November 21st, 2012 04:08 am (UTC)
Oo, nice :D I loved it. Eliot/Parker friendship is adorable - this was brilliant!
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 25th, 2012 06:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Eliot & Parker's unusual friendship is so much fun to write! :D
(Deleted comment)
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 25th, 2012 06:56 pm (UTC)
Wow, you have the voices down pat, no doubt.

Thank you! I literally was writing this while Leverage was playing on my TV one day, but even then writing a character for the first time is nerve-wracking. I am so glad they worked so well for you!

The whole concept of her just wanting to cuddle and seeing no wrong in them being naked or whatever to do it is just so cute and so very Parker. Love this :)

Thank you so much for the awesome comment! :)
lizibabeslizibabes on November 22nd, 2012 06:08 pm (UTC)
Snugglecuddle!!! I love this so much.
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 25th, 2012 06:57 pm (UTC)
LOL Thank you, babe! You know Eliot would be the best snugglecuddler ever! 8)
JBMcDragonjbmcdragon on November 26th, 2012 05:43 am (UTC)
*dies* I'm NEVER going to forget hearing Eliot's voice in my head saying "snugglecuddle."

J
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 28th, 2012 01:29 am (UTC)
Awwww, thank you! So happy you enjoyed it! :)
Lil Miss Morgan Dork: Jaredbadfalcon on November 29th, 2012 10:04 pm (UTC)
Fantastic, loved it :D
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on November 30th, 2012 02:31 am (UTC)
Thank you!! I am glad you enjoyed it! :)
nyx_girl on March 4th, 2013 10:09 pm (UTC)
So cute!!!!
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on March 6th, 2013 08:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
kanecrazy: elioticon1kanecrazy on April 29th, 2013 01:37 am (UTC)
Humor and sweetness. I love Parker and Eliot, and I love the way you capture her tenaciousness in proving to Eliot that he's not really such a hardass after all. Love it!
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on May 3rd, 2013 01:23 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!!

I love the way you capture her tenaciousness

It's one of my favorite things about Parker, thank you for the lovely comment. :)
tidal_racetidal_race on August 21st, 2013 06:00 am (UTC)
Ha! I don't think any man ever wants to hear, "It's just your penis."

I liked the progression of this. Eliot would be super grumpy about it, kick her out the first few times, and then she'd do something so Parker that it would finally worm it's way past the cracks in his armor and he'd give in.
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on August 21st, 2013 11:30 pm (UTC)
Ha! I don't think any man ever wants to hear, "It's just your penis."

lol No, I don't think it's what any man dreams of hearing. ;)

Thank you so much for this lovely comment! It was my first Leverage fic, so I am super glad to hear that the characters seemed right on cue. Thank you! (this comes just as I am getting a Hardison/Eliot fic ready to post in the next few days, so it's helping my pre-posting jitters immensely!)

BTW, your icon? IS AWESOME. Love Jo so much.
tidal_race: first datetidal_race on August 22nd, 2013 03:43 pm (UTC)
Ooh, more fic! I've been on a huge Leverage kick the last few days and I like Hardison/Eliot fics. Hardison/Parker is my favorite, but I can just pretend that it develops into an ot3 later when I read the boys together. Lol.

Oh, yes. Jo is awesomesauce.
dodger_sister: leveragedodger_sister on August 27th, 2013 11:53 pm (UTC)
My Hardison/Eliot fic is up now - here - if you're interested. I too have such a deep love for Hardison/Parker. When I started watching the show I could pair them off with other people easily, but after the first season, I was so hardcore H/P that the only way I could write/read anything else was to do it with Eliot and just head-canon OT3 later on, like you.

Which is why this latest fic is vague enough that you can imagine Hardison is taking Eliot home to Parker after the fade to black! Because I can't imagine anything else, myself. :)