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21 October 2014 @ 08:19 pm
Welcome To The 21st Century!  
So, my mom did go ahead and give up her car. And I am really, really glad she did, for everyone's safety. But she has been driving me nuts ever since. With her health, she doesn’t have the energy to walk very far. So while she does occasionally walk to the bus stop, mostly she has been homebound. In the same way that I only go places if someone drives me. (I call it 80% homebound). And my mother is not in the 21st century, so she doesn’t know how to use technology to expand her walls, like I do. Which means that she has been calling 8 times a day - ‘I just heard a nice quote’, ‘I just saw a funny video’, ‘I just watched a movie, let me tell everything about it’. Also, because we live a block from her, she can easily walk to our house. She’s been stopping by. Every. Single. Day.


She seems to have forgotten the golden rule about ‘no pop-ins’. Just because I am home alone every day, doesn’t mean I’m not busy. One day, she called to say she wanted to stop by on her dog-walk, if I got the message to call her back. I had to get ready for PT, so I just ignored the message. She stopped by anyways. I don’t answer the door when I’m home alone, so I ignored it. Then she lets herself in. I am sitting on the couch and suddenly the door opens. We gave her the security number for emergencies. Stopping by for chitchat is NOT an emergency. I was mean to her then, yelled at her. It is not okay for her to just let herself into my home like that though. I mean, I’m not in here doing indecent things with someone, but what if I was?! Or what if, more likely, I was just busy and didn’t have time for a 20 minute chitchat? Especially on days when I have PT, I try to get an hour of stuff done before going to my appt, because afterwards I am too sore to do anything else.

So my sister and I decided, since Mom’s computer is such a mega-pile of shit, to buy her an IPad. It was used and not that bad of a price. We did have to get her a wireless router too, since she doesn’t even have that yet. I spent 2 hours downloading apps and setting up a myriad of accounts and passwords for her. Then we gave it to her on Sunday. She was actually really grateful. She said ‘thank you’ to us more times than she probably has in our entire lives. She said, “I’ll just be hibernating all winter then, I’ll never leave my bed!” and we were like, “That’s the idea.” It’s not entirely the idea, but once the snow kicks in, even the bus stop will be hard for her, so hopefully this way she will have outside contact. Her desktop computer barely lets her through a page of Facebook before booting her out. Now she has the Facebook app and FB Messenger. She made a post today about her life. She thought it was a novel thing to do. We did look at getting her a Kindle Fire instead, but the IPad was only $50 more, with a slightly bigger screen and, more importantly, IMessage. This means that even though she can’t text from her old phone, she can now text anyone who has an IPhone or IPad. This includes me, my sister and my aunt. I would rather get 20 texts from her a day than I would 8 phonecalls. Her having the ability to text was well worth the extra $50. I have also introduced her to Draw Something and she has already told me how addictive it is. When I send her a drawing, she responds back almost immediately, like she is waiting for me to hit her up. It’s kind of almost adorable to watch her excitement over this technology.

Today I spent 2 hours giving her a basic tutorial. She couldn’t figure out things like how to get out of an app once she was finished in it or how to get back to her home screen or how to make capital letters on the screen-board. So, a very basic tutorial. But I think this is going to be life-changing for her. It was for me. I wouldn’t have made it through the terrible artic winter we had last year if it hadn’t been for my IPad. Of course, after a 2 hour tutoring session today, my throat is worse than ever. It went from simply ‘raw’ to ‘swollen/raw/hard to swallow’. The Sister was home sick again today, as well. Ugh that, man.
 
 
 
Shirebound: snoopy computershirebound on October 22nd, 2014 01:08 am (UTC)
My mom doesn’t know how to use technology to expand her walls either, and as soon as my job ends in a few weeks I'm going to teach her how to access and use the internet. In the past, she, too, has been nervous about how to get back to her home screen, etc. Good luck to both our moms!
dodger_sister: geeksdodger_sister on October 28th, 2014 07:08 pm (UTC)
My mom doesn’t know how to use technology to expand her walls either, and as soon as my job ends in a few weeks I'm going to teach her how to access and use the internet. In the past, she, too, has been nervous about how to get back to her home screen, etc. Good luck to both our moms!

Good luck to both our moms and to us while teaching them! I found that going slow, step by step, even the tiniest most minuscule of steps like 'right click', really helped my mom learn what to do.

I hope it helps expands your mom's walls a bit too!
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on October 22nd, 2014 11:33 am (UTC)
I am not surprised that your mom is intruding into your life now more without a car, but I definitely remember how scary it was how long it took us to get my grandmother to stop driving. She was a menace, too! I'm sure that lives were saved.

At least she'll probably fall in love with the iPad, right?

I really hope you can get better soon, and Sister too!
dodger_sister: geeksdodger_sister on October 28th, 2014 07:15 pm (UTC)
I am not surprised that your mom is intruding into your life now more without a car, but I definitely remember how scary it was how long it took us to get my grandmother to stop driving. She was a menace, too! I'm sure that lives were saved.

Oh my maternal grandmother, we had to fight her for years over not driving, it took forever for us to convince her and eventually she only gave in because walking was getting so difficult, not driving and seeing and stuff. Yes, this is much safer for everyone, including mom. But man she was driving me up the walls. The IPad seems to have done the trick...she hasn't popped in since she got it!

At least she'll probably fall in love with the iPad, right?

She totally has and it's adorable!!! Idk if she uses it for anything other than Draw Something, texting and Netflix, but that's enough, still worth our money!

I really hope you can get better soon, and Sister too!

I am better (mostly, sort of), but The Sis is worse. Lost her voice and everything. :(
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on October 28th, 2014 11:17 pm (UTC)
But neither of them ever drove backward on a freeway, right? Because that's my measurement of "worst driver ever" and the award goes to my paternal grandfather, who missed and exit and just.... backed up to get back to it. TERRIFYING.

Ha ha, the iPad is mighty against the drop-by fu!
dodger_sister: geeksdodger_sister on October 31st, 2014 12:03 am (UTC)
But neither of them ever drove backward on a freeway, right? Because that's my measurement of "worst driver ever" and the award goes to my paternal grandfather, who missed and exit and just.... backed up to get back to it. TERRIFYING.

OMG. Okay, he wins. Hands down.

The last time I ever agreed to get in a car with my mother, it was to go about 5 blocks to the bank. We didn't even have to get out of the car, so no biggie, right? Wrong. Going towards the bank, there is one lane, but on the other side there were two lanes, a straight through and a left turn. My mom pulls into the left turn lane, into oncoming traffic, to turn into the bank. Cars were coming towards us. I said, "Mom, this isn't a turn lane for us, it's a turn lane for oncoming traffic." - "Oh, but I'm turning here." - "You're on the wrong side of the road! There are cars coming at us." - "They'll get out of the way, it's fine." Not fucking kidding you, we had to sit there for like 30 seconds in order to turn and the other cars had to slow way down and then stop because we were sitting in the lane, going the wrong way.

I have never ridden with her again.
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on October 31st, 2014 12:24 am (UTC)
You have made a WISE choice!
Denidenig37 on October 22nd, 2014 01:28 pm (UTC)
Hah, yes! This!

My mom is active and in good health but her having her own laptop means a lot :-D

dodger_sister: geeksdodger_sister on October 28th, 2014 07:17 pm (UTC)
Hah, yes! This! My mom is active and in good health but her having her own laptop means a lot :-D

In this day and age, it is necessary. My mom could barely access her email and couldn't access her facebook - especially with my one brother living in another country, she needed to be able to use technology for staying in touch with him. And the texting has been a lifesaver - for us both, now I won't go postal on her!


lindahoylandlindahoyland on October 23rd, 2014 01:03 am (UTC)
Hope things settle down for you and your Mum gets on well with the ipad. I've a friend in her 70's who loves hers.
dodger_sister: geeksdodger_sister on October 28th, 2014 07:19 pm (UTC)
Hope things settle down for you and your Mum gets on well with the ipad. I've a friend in her 70's who loves hers.

She is loving the IPad. I was worried she would be too afraid to use it, but she is getting along great with it, though I've had to give her a few more tutorials since the first one. It was the best investment, honestly, it has made her so happy.
lizibabeslizibabes on October 24th, 2014 09:19 pm (UTC)
Technology is like the best thing ever. I have done the teaching a parent how to use it too.
My dad and brother were too impatient to teach my mum properly, so she didn't use a ton of stuff, but I've got her more involved. Through facebook she's got in contact with a ton of old school friends and stuff. These days she'll do stuff and I'm like 'I didn't teach her that, how did she do that?'
I hope your mom enjoys being online and it gives her more freedom when she's at home, if that makes sense.
You said your throats bad/ Are you sick? If so ditto. Winter is well and truly here, my throat is telling me that.
I hope you feel better soon. Lots of hugs

(also sorry for the mega late replies on my posts. I've been sick, at hospital, and just generally not getting on my laptop. but I really wanted to catch up and then do some writing tonight)
dodger_sister: geeksdodger_sister on October 28th, 2014 07:26 pm (UTC)
Technology is like the best thing ever. I have done the teaching a parent how to use it too.

Isn't it?! I practiced ahead of time, walked myself through how I was going to teach her each thing, made sure I didn't skip any steps and went slow. After our first teaching session, she told me I was a great teacher!

Through facebook she's got in contact with a ton of old school friends and stuff.

This is my hope for my mom, that she can finally use facebook the way it was meant to be used!

You said your throats bad/ Are you sick? If so ditto. Winter is well and truly here, my throat is telling me that.

It was October last year when I got sick and now this year again. October hates me. Except for Halloween! I am feeling better, though still coughing. Sis is really sick though, I feel so bad for her.
lizibabeslizibabes on October 28th, 2014 08:50 pm (UTC)
make sure you teach her the difference between a private message and writing on someone's wall. We didn't teach my mum that right away and she mixed it up, it was pretty funny.

But the internet is great for connecting with people, old and new.

Apart from halloween October blows. I'm doing better as well, which is great, we both need to be well so we can dress up and celebrate.

No repeats of last year babe, you don't deserve that two years in a row. I hope your sister gets well soon, send her a hug from me.

Unrelated but I have been accepted into another anthology, it's out in December!! The theme was Christmas and Kink
Trigger Warning: Lifematchboximpala on November 11th, 2014 05:51 am (UTC)
make sure you teach her the difference between a private message and writing on someone's wall.

My mom does that, too. I've had to delete some of her posts because they included just TMI. :D
dodger_sister: geeksdodger_sister on November 11th, 2014 10:02 pm (UTC)
I don't use Facebook, so Idk enough about it to really point that out to her, but I think I told her how to comment to people properly. I just know that my sister complains that my dad posts stuff to her wall all the time and she has to 'hide' it because it clutters up her wall so much, with like cat videos. /shakes head/
lizibabeslizibabes on November 11th, 2014 11:35 pm (UTC)
My mum did a few, like saying bad things about family members lol. My larger family are a nightmare.
Trigger Warning: Lifematchboximpala on November 11th, 2014 05:47 am (UTC)
I bought my mom a Kindle last Christmas. In August, when I was in town, she gave it to me to send it back because it was broken. I just plugged it in and about 5 minutes later, after the battery had recovered from being completely drained, it woke up. My poor mom.

dodger_sister: geeksdodger_sister on November 11th, 2014 10:03 pm (UTC)
I bought my mom a Kindle last Christmas. In August, when I was in town, she gave it to me to send it back because it was broken. I just plugged it in and about 5 minutes later, after the battery had recovered from being completely drained, it woke up. My poor mom

OMG. Okay, you're Mom wins the technology idiot award of the year. Hands down. 8)