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04 November 2014 @ 08:38 pm
I'm Inclined To Believe.  
So, the other day Roo actually snuggled with me. Only for like 15 minutes, but he even let me put my arm around him. And the other night he was ‘killing’ a piece of plastic paper that I gave him - all the toys in the world and he wants to play with garbage - and howling over it like a hunter. Both of these are extraordinary for Roo and Idk if he has behavioral changes because he misses Buddy or because he no longer has to fight for my affection with his brother. Either way, it’s been nice that he’s been such a mama’s boy lately. Although for about the first 4 nights after Buddy passed, Roo refused to come to bed at all. On the second night, I tried 2 different times to coax him to bed with me and he wasn’t having it. I just buried my face in his belly and started crying and he was so worried about me, but he still wouldn’t come to bed. I went back to my room alone and like 3 minutes later, Pippin came and got in bed, walked all over me, gave me a big snuggle and slept with me all night. My sister said the other day, “I didn’t realize how much of our lives were dominated by taking care of Buddy, but now that he’s gone, everything feels empty and out of place.” That is how it feels, indeed.

In health news, that sneezing/cold/throat/cough thing I had is mostly cleared up. I still have some sinus issues and a few coughing fits here and there, but I feel much better. Sadly for my sister, who had the same thing, hers has taken a downturn and worked its way into viral bronchitis. She can barely speak and the doc said it’ll be about 10 days before she gets to feeling better. Eep. Also, one of my cousin-in-laws had a heart attack over the weekend. She is only 40. She is home now, but they haven’t fixed all the issues yet and she is being monitored extremely closely. She has two teenage boys at home, so Sis made food to take over there. And another cousin-in-law just revealed that she has breast cancer and they have to do a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy, because they believe it is being spread hormonally and they want to take out the body parts that cause excess hormones. She is also 40, I believe. There is nothing really to do for either of them, but wait and see.

So that’s what has been going on here amongst all the awesome Halloween fun we had this past week. Also, I saw my anxiety counselor today and she wants me to write about my emotions when I am having them. I don’t want to write about my emotions - I want to write about Dean and Cas and their emotions for each other! Damn.
 
 
 
Shirebound: Pippin heart - cookiefleckshirebound on November 5th, 2014 01:56 am (UTC)
Healing thoughts for your cousins in law! What a lot going on.

I hope all the kitties are soon snuggly with you. We all grieve in different ways, and heal at different times.

*gentle hugs*
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 5th, 2014 09:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks, darling. We are such a close knit family, which at times can be a pain in the butt, but in this case we are grateful to be able to be there when they need us.

I have noticed that all of the cats are out of sorts, so even the ones that would normally be super affection are not as much as usual because they know something is off around here. It seems like everyone is starting to settle though. Of course, we are going out of town this weekend, so that will disrupt them all over again!
Jo Ann: Cats: Elijah holding tabbyyeuxdebleu on November 5th, 2014 02:24 am (UTC)
Gosh, no wonder you need an anxiety counselor with all the serious health issues in your family on top of not feeling well yourself. I hope everyone will be OK.

Interesting how animals react after one is gone. I have a friend here in town who had two cats and one died from simple old age. She was a very lovable cat and spent most of her time with my friend. The other cat had never been particularly affectionate, but since she became the only cat, she has turned into a lap cat and a cuddler.
dodger_sister: angstdodger_sister on November 5th, 2014 10:02 pm (UTC)
Gosh, no wonder you need an anxiety counselor with all the serious health issues in your family on top of not feeling well yourself. I hope everyone will be OK.

Thank you. <3 I am disabled and have always had health issues, so anxiety kind of comes with the territory there. But last winter I had bronchitis for three momths and then lost my beloved grandfather, with whom I was really close, and I decided it was time to get some help. Just to learn techniques for the health anxiety, so I will have some spoons left to deal with the other life stuff when it comes along. My family is getting slammed hard this year though.

Interesting how animals react after one is gone.

They are strange little animals, aren't they? ;) Here it seems like the ones that used to be affectionate are not quite as much as the ones that weren't affectionate, now are all of sudden. I think everyone will settle back into a new normal once enough time has passed, but it is odd to have the household routine so disrupted.
lindahoylandlindahoyland on November 5th, 2014 04:46 am (UTC)
Big hugs.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 5th, 2014 10:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you, darling. <3
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on November 5th, 2014 12:03 pm (UTC)
It's definitely going to take a while for things to find a new normal without Buddy. *hugs*

I'm glad you're better, but eesh, poor sister! And I'm so sorry about your cousins-in-law. Hard times for sure. :(

Write what you want to write. And rant when you want to rant, right?
dodger_sister: angstdodger_sister on November 5th, 2014 10:07 pm (UTC)
It's definitely going to take a while for things to find a new normal without Buddy.

'New normal' is a good way to phrase it - I like that. Everyone has to find their place now that the dynamics have changed.

Sis is so sick, I tried to get her to take it easy and stop doing things, but of course, she never slows down! The cousins are a hard situation and I wish there was something we could do, but at this point there really isn't.

Write what you want to write. And rant when you want to rant, right?

I wish. I am paying the lady $90 a session. If I don't do the homework she gives me, then I'd be basically throwing my money away. Still, I'd rather work on fanfic!
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on November 6th, 2014 12:45 am (UTC)
Ugh, yes. For that much, I guess you better do what she asks you to do.

But you can write those feelings into stories TOO.
Denidenig37 on November 5th, 2014 09:15 pm (UTC)
Kinda reminds of what I said to a certain 4th grader who complained about not being fair that they won't have Informatics (I was the substitute teacher for that subject that day but another teacher needed the computer lab for his class). I seriously told a whiny 4th grader: "Life is not fair, get used to it."

We grow up being thaught that there's justice and good things will happen if you're a good person.
What a load of crap! Bad things happen to good people for no reason, life is a bitch >:-(

I hope you guys get better, sorry to hear that about cousins *hugs*
dodger_sister: angstdodger_sister on November 5th, 2014 10:09 pm (UTC)
Yeah, The BFF likes to say, "Life's a beach and then you drown."

Sis is on meds now, so even though it'll take awhile, there is an end in sight to the nonstop coughing! Thank you!

I see a lot of struggles and hard times for my cousins, but I can only hope for a good outcome at the end of it all. <3
lanie: heartprincesslanie on November 7th, 2014 06:52 pm (UTC)
wow so much to deal with, hang in there. hugs.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 11th, 2014 09:45 pm (UTC)
wow so much to deal with, hang in there. hugs.

Thanks, babe. It's just a lot of stuff that I can't do much about, and I hate being non-proactive about these things. No news on my cousins' health front yet, but Sis is finally starting to feel better and I got Buddy's ashes back so I can put him to rest this weekend.
lanie: heartprincesslanie on November 13th, 2014 01:32 am (UTC)
hugs.