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25 January 2015 @ 07:11 pm
Everyone Thinks They Are A Comedian.  
Thank you to everyone for your well-wishes for my Grandma. She made it through just fine, spent one night in the hospital and was released with the agreement that my uncle would stay with her for a few days.. It turned out not to be a biopsy at all, but rather a full-on surgery. They removed both her ovaries. She consented without even knowing what they were doing. The night before she told my sister, “Oh honey, I don’t even know what this thing is they are doing tomorrow.” /shakes head/ Thankfully it all went well.


She also said though that when she arrives in Heaven that Grandpa will ask what took her so long. My sister said, “Really, Grandma? You think that’s the first thing he’ll ask? He won’t immediately want to know the price of wheat?” and Grandma laughed and laughed and said, “You’re right, first he’ll ask for the latest crop report.” I agree!

Also there is this old joke in our family about dinner rolls. See, Grandma is one of those people that at family dinners cannot sit down until everyone has everything they need. So we’d all be well into our dinners and she’d still be fussing around, asking people if they got some of this or that. And always rolls, “Did everyone get a roll,” and we’d all be, “OMG, sit down, Grandma, we all got rolls!” So then one year, after we convinced her to finally sit down and start eating, one of my cousins shouts out, “Wait, I didn’t get a roll!” as a joke and Grandma gets up to get her one and we laughed and all were like, “No, sit down!” So now, inevitably, at every family dinner, once everyone has sat down, one of the cousins will pop up and go, “Wait, did everyone get a roll?!” Grandma told my sister, “Now I need you to promise me that at my memorial, whenever some starts crying, that you’ll jump up and yell, ‘Did everyone get a roll?’ okay,” and my sister agreed. I have no doubt she will actually do this at Grandma’s memorial service and everyone will laugh!

ION, yesterday was K’s 50th birthday, so at the clinic on Friday they had decorated with black streamers and black balloons everywhere and everyone was wearing black. I was told ahead of time to wear all black and I noticed almost all of the patients there - except for 2 teenagers - were all dressed in black as well. Apparently it wasn’t just a employee wide joke, they had spread the word to all their patients too! Of course, K didn’t know they were doing this and chose that day to wear his bright pink shirt, so he was like a stab of color amongst all the black decorations and clothing. After he left work, they cut down all the black balloons and stuffed them in his office for him to find on Monday. Also they gave me a piece of his birthday cake to eat. It was called Better Than Sex and omg, this is what I want for my birthday this year. It was chocolate cake with caramel and filling injected into it and it was all soggy and delicious and omg, my eyes literally rolled back in my head. One of the new aides asked why I got a piece of cake even though I don’t work there - (I think he was trying to hoard it all for himself!) - and he was told, “She’s our favorite, she gets whatever she wants.’ Ha!

That is all.
 
 
 
Shireboundshirebound on January 26th, 2015 12:27 am (UTC)
I need you to promise me that at my memorial, whenever some starts crying, that you’ll jump up and yell, ‘Did everyone get a roll?’

That's the best thing I've ever heard. I love her!
dodger_sister: smirkdodger_sister on February 1st, 2015 09:15 pm (UTC)
lol My grandma is hysterical! I get my sense of humor from her, for sure!
Jo Annyeuxdebleu on January 26th, 2015 12:36 am (UTC)
What a wonderful story about your grandmother and the rolls. Sounds like your grandparents both have/had a good sense of humor.
dodger_sister: smirkdodger_sister on February 1st, 2015 09:17 pm (UTC)
What a wonderful story about your grandmother and the rolls. Sounds like your grandparents both have/had a good sense of humor.

My grandma is one of those old ladies that tells dirty jokes and makes inappropriate remarks about hot guys everywhere. lol It's a riot and clearly where I get it from! Grandpa was one of those guys who tells the same 5 jokes over and over again and laughs uproariously each time!
Ironlily - Making My Marque: happybubblevikingprincess on January 26th, 2015 12:40 am (UTC)
Your whole family's on a roll! *ba dum dump*

Happy Birthday to K! (that cake sounds AMAZING)

dodger_sister: smirkdodger_sister on February 1st, 2015 09:18 pm (UTC)
Your whole family's on a roll! *ba dum dump*

/rolls eyes at you/

Happy Birthday to K! (that cake sounds AMAZING)

OMG, you don't even know, man! I started my period like 2 days later and I swear, that cake is the reason - it totally kicked me into ovulation!
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on February 1st, 2015 09:37 pm (UTC)
Sounds more like it shocked your body into rejecting any egg that had implanted without first experiencing the CAKE. :P
Kate: taking wingceitfianna on January 26th, 2015 12:42 am (UTC)
I'm glad that your grandmother's doing well and hee, your family sounds silly.

Hee, that birthday party must have been wonderful.
dodger_sister: smirkdodger_sister on February 1st, 2015 09:20 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that your grandmother's doing well and hee, your family sounds silly. Hee, that birthday party must have been wonderful.

My family is full of dorks and we all think were hysterical! lol IDK how much K appreciated the funeral-esque theme of his birthday celebration, but we all thought it was great fun! He seemed resigned to it by the time I got there. ;)
lindahoylandlindahoyland on January 26th, 2015 01:06 am (UTC)
I'm glad your Grandma is OK. A big operation for anyone at her age to have.
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on February 1st, 2015 09:21 pm (UTC)
I'm glad your Grandma is OK. A big operation for anyone at her age to have.

Thank you. It certainly was. Now she is talking about having heart surgery. I guess she looked at this last one as a trial run.
Trigger Warning: Lifematchboximpala on January 26th, 2015 04:33 am (UTC)
I'm glad to hear your Grandma is okay. My eyes went a bit wide when I read that bit about her not knowing what they were going to to do to her. I'm super paranoid about hospitals making mistakes. When I finally do get my varicose veins in my left operated on this year, I am going to write in black sharpie on it: "THIS ONE"

Great story about the rolls.

And of course you are their favorite -- you probably make them laugh all the time.

Edited at 2015-01-26 04:34 am (UTC)
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on February 1st, 2015 09:26 pm (UTC)
Is that the dude who plays Merlin in your icon? My goodness he is a cutie! He's got kind of a Jimmy Marsden thing going on, I never noticed before.

I'm glad to hear your Grandma is okay. My eyes went a bit wide when I read that bit about her not knowing what they were going to to do to her.

I can't even imagine! Do you know the crazy shit doctors would have done to me if I just signed every consent form they put in front of me?!

I'm super paranoid about hospitals making mistakes. When I finally do get my varicose veins in my left operated on this year, I am going to write in black sharpie on it: "THIS ONE"

If they are a good hospital, they will do that for you - I've had multiple surgeries where they not only wrote on which leg, but they wrote the procedure on it - like 'right leg, rod implant', so I didn't accidentally wake up with my left leg amputated or something.

Great story about the rolls.

It's been a joke for the past 20 years in my family. We still think it's funny!

And of course you are their favorite -- you probably make them laugh all the time.

Well, that IS true. Also, I come there 2x a week, every week, for the last 5 years now and will becoming for the nest 20 years and everyone knows I am in favor with the boss, so it's kind of like I am employee/the boss' sister/something and dammit, that means I get cake! New guy can shut it!
crucis01crucis01 on January 26th, 2015 06:13 am (UTC)
I am so glad to hear she seems on the mend! Fantastic news all around! Hugs to all of you!
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on February 1st, 2015 09:28 pm (UTC)
Grandma is doing well and staying by herself now and seems to have recovered well, if not still a little sore! Thank you for the good wishes her way!
Denidenig37 on January 26th, 2015 09:09 pm (UTC)
Upbeat joking grandma is way better than my grandparents from hell *is jealous* :-P

and he was told, “She’s our favorite, she gets whatever she wants.’ Ha!
Ha! Indeed! :-D Suck it newbie! :-D
dodger_sister: smirkdodger_sister on February 1st, 2015 09:30 pm (UTC)
Upbeat joking grandma is way better than my grandparents from hell *is jealous* :-P

Well, I also had a set of super strict judgmental grandparents, to be fair, but given what I know of your grandma, mine are all saints! My current living Grandma is totally where I get my sense of humor!

Ha! Indeed! :-D Suck it newbie! :-D

Damn straight, kid! I get what I want!
crucis01crucis01 on February 1st, 2015 10:04 pm (UTC)
Excellent news about your Grandma! Hugs to all of you and fingers crossed the good news continues!
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on February 2nd, 2015 10:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
lizibabeslizibabes on February 2nd, 2015 04:32 am (UTC)
Damn, I'm glad your grandma is okay, that's a hell of a surgery. I hope she heals up well and isn't in much pain (I know no pain would be too much to hope for) She sounds like she's really funny and awesome.

K's birthday sounds awesome, I like the all black theme, that would have been so funny. And duh of course you get cake! You are the best.
Also that cake sounds so good, I want a slice or three of that right now!
dodger_sister: smirkdodger_sister on February 2nd, 2015 10:22 pm (UTC)
Damn, I'm glad your grandma is okay, that's a hell of a surgery. I hope she heals up well and isn't in much pain (I know no pain would be too much to hope for) She sounds like she's really funny and awesome.

She seems to have healed well and is mostly just still a little sore in her abdomen muscles. My grandma is a riot - she has no filter, which is clearly where I get it from, just saying whatever we think!

K's birthday sounds awesome, I like the all black theme, that would have been so funny.

It was well done! Everyone loves K, but come on, you have to rib the guy on his 50th! It was genius.

Also that cake sounds so good, I want a slice or three of that right now!

OMG, you don't even know. I can't even describe it. My eyes rolled back in my head and I was making these noises I didn't even realize I was making and one of the aides was like, 'are you okay?' and I yelled, "I just need to be alone for a minute!" Cuz omg that cake.
lizibabes: A&T featherslizibabes on February 3rd, 2015 01:52 am (UTC)
Did you give K his present?

I have cake envy.