?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
01 July 2015 @ 12:23 am
Life Stresses.  
So, my little brother has been really sick for about two months now. He has two different cysts in his groin region and they are extremely painful, making it almost unbearable for him to walk. Which means he is laid up, unable to care for his own fibromyalgia, unable to care for his home, unable to care for his kids. They have been running a bunch of tests and trying different treatment. Now he has been referred to the university hospital to see some specialists and it looks like they will have to do surgery to remove the cysts. They are baffled as to why he is in so much pain though. Also they haven't ruled out cancer, so there's that.


In the meantime, The Niece broke her arm. She was running through the house and tripped on a rug and held her arm out to catch herself in just such a way that she got two breaks in her arm. She is obvs cranky and bored from being on such restricted activity, like no swimming or playing at the beach. Not to mention her dad is not really able to take her outside, since he can barely walk. So there's that.

On top of all it, The Nephew is having serious behavior issues. Today my brother told him he couldn't go to the lake to swim with his friend and TN told my brother that he couldn't stop him and just left the house. He's been telling my brother, "You can't make me do anything!" and being outright belligerent. They even sent him to his aunt's daycare and when they picked him up, she said she had never been spoken to like that by a child in her life, like he was that disrespectful to her. I don't know if it's chemical - (with all the mental health issues in the family, it could be, like his dad was about this age when he started showing symptoms of his mental health issues) - or worry/frustration about his dad being sick, or boredom because his dad and sister can't do much, idek.

My brother was practically in tears today on the phone, saying he was at his wits end. My worry is that my brother is making his other health ailments worse from all the stress and trying to do too much and my nephew is getting worse behavior-wise because my brother is reacting impatiently and short-tempered to everything. Like I can tell my brother has completely lost control of his parenting skills and is making the situation worse, but that won't stop until he gets some relief health-wise and in the meantime is damaging his relationship with The Nephew, so...IDEK.

We are looking at helping them pay for daycare for the summer or having him come stay here, but only if we can get him into some sort of summer program because he can't stay with me all day, I am too exhausted for that. They can also send him to Arizona to stay with an aunt and uncle there, but I'd rather he came here. We have phone calls into different summer day camps and will see what we can do. I love that little guy so much, it breaks my heart to see him act like this, to see him suffer so.
 
 
 
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on July 1st, 2015 04:35 am (UTC)
Oh babe, those are some tough times. *hugs* I think it's great that you and Sister are trying to come up with ways to help, and I also think it's smart that you're making sure to keep time for you to rest.
dodger_sister: upsetdodger_sister on July 18th, 2015 08:32 pm (UTC)
Oh babe, those are some tough times. *hugs* I think it's great that you and Sister are trying to come up with ways to help, and I also think it's smart that you're making sure to keep time for you to rest

Oh, things have actually gotten worse for my brother's family. His wife is being pushed out of her job of 12 years, as they were bought by a new company and she has been demoted and lost her salary pay and is now down to hourly pay, so it looks like she is going to try to go back to school, though not until Brother's health all gets sorted. Sis and I pooled our money and gave them enough to pay for daycare for the kids for the rest of the summer and that is really all we can do at this point.
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on July 19th, 2015 01:37 pm (UTC)
My god. You know, we were talking Friday night with TAHtm's brother and sister in law, and a couple of their friends, about how it seems like the businesses and laws are trying to destroy the middle class - and that sort of thing is exactly how they do it. :(

I hope that wonderful opportunities and clear solutions to the health issues come VERY soon to them.
Trigger Warning: Life: ottersmatchboximpala on July 1st, 2015 05:16 am (UTC)
I am really sorry to hear this. It sounds like your brother is dealing with way too much right now. I hope that whatever you arrange as a family will help.
dodger_sister: upsetdodger_sister on July 18th, 2015 08:36 pm (UTC)
I am really sorry to hear this. It sounds like your brother is dealing with way too much right now. I hope that whatever you arrange as a family will help.

Thanks, babe. Sis and I went in together and have paid for daycare for the kids for the rest of the summer. We got a good deal, as S-I-L has a family member who does daycare and offered a reduced rate for the two kids. I actually think it'll be good for The Niece to be around more kids her own age for awhile, as she is getting to that age where she needs the socializing. Brother is still in tons of pain, but he sees the specialist soon and they think they may have a solution. Cross our fingers anyways.

Shirebound: Sleeping Frodo - Mucun/Reishirebound on July 1st, 2015 02:36 pm (UTC)
Oh my gosh, what a tough time for everyone! Thank you for sharing this with us.

*many many tight hugs*
dodger_sister: upsetdodger_sister on July 18th, 2015 08:38 pm (UTC)
Oh my gosh, what a tough time for everyone! Thank you for sharing this with us.
*many many tight hugs*


We are almost 100% sure now that Brother doesn't have cancer. He sees the specialist (finally) this week, so hopefully we'll know more then, and Sis and I have paid to put the kids in daycare until this all gets sorted out. We told them that no matter what, we had their backs through this and so did my dad and I think they have finally started to let go and feel like they can come to us when they need things. I hope anyways!
Shireboundshirebound on July 18th, 2015 09:05 pm (UTC)
Thank goodness for family. I don't know how people get through things without a loving and creative support system.
Kate: Hiding Catceitfianna on July 1st, 2015 09:26 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm sorry. Thinking good thoughts your way.
dodger_sister: upsetdodger_sister on July 18th, 2015 08:45 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm sorry. Thinking good thoughts your way.

Thanks, babe. So P's behavior issues seem to be getting mildly better now and C has her cast off and Brother is pretty almost sure that he doesn't have cancer - (they think it has to do with his vasectomy). And J and I have paid to put the kids in daycare for the summer, which will give them fun things to do with other kids at least. The road isn't over for Brother yet, as he has to see the specialist still and probably have surgery, but he's getting there. Though now S-I-L is being pushed out of her management job, lost her title and her salary pay (down to hourly pay instead) so now she wants to go back to school but of course, they just bought their house last year and don't know how they'll pay their mortgage. Poor SIL was here last night, crying, she is so stressed out.
lindahoylandlindahoyland on July 2nd, 2015 01:06 am (UTC)
Big hugs.Hope your brother's health issues are soon cured.
dodger_sister: upsetdodger_sister on July 18th, 2015 08:47 pm (UTC)
Big hugs.Hope your brother's health issues are soon cured

Thank you, darling. The doctors think they have an answer for Brother, at last! It may involve surgery, but if it fixes his issues, it'll be worth it. He still has a long road ahead of him to get tested and see all the doctors before they will opt for surgery, but he's getting there.
ranuaranua on July 5th, 2015 02:34 pm (UTC)
((hugs)) aw babe, what a tough break, when it rains it certainly pours. I will keep a good thought for you and yours that all of this baloney blows over soon and good things start to happen.
dodger_sister: upsetdodger_sister on July 18th, 2015 08:52 pm (UTC)
((hugs)) aw babe, what a tough break, when it rains it certainly pours. I will keep a good thought for you and yours that all of this baloney blows over soon and good things start to happen

Thanks, babe. The Nephew's behavior has improved a little and The Niece had her cast taken off! They also think they have an answer for my brother on his pain and though it may require surgery, there is an end in sight! (probably not for several more weeks, but an end nonetheless). Sis and I have paid to put the kids in daycare for the rest of the summer, so Brother can focus on his health. On the downside, SIL is getting pushed out of her job that she has had for 12 years now and as she never went to college, is quite scared about what this means for their future. We assured them that we will do whatever we can to help them and she is now looking at going back to school, as I told you the other day. She was here last night, crying, and it was heartbreaking. She got married at 17 and has had so much to handle, IDK how she does it, she is amazing.
ranuaranua on July 20th, 2015 01:49 pm (UTC)
so glad there is some good news even if it is tempered with the bad news about your SiL's job situation. I hope the going back to school is successful for her.
Denidenig37 on July 10th, 2015 02:04 am (UTC)
Remember that it's bubble wrap and fluffy blankets for you?

Well, we need to get more of those to wrap your entire family into because what the hell Fortuna?
dodger_sister: upsetdodger_sister on July 18th, 2015 08:55 pm (UTC)
Remember that it's bubble wrap and fluffy blankets for you? Well, we need to get more of those to wrap your entire family into because what the hell Fortuna?

I do remember the bubble wrap and blankets! I want to wrap my brother up in all the blankets and The Niece in the bubble wrap, because that girl is hell on wheels, no wonder she broke her arm, she is a wild child!

The Niece's cast has come off though and the doctors think the have a solution for my brother. They thought that once before, so we will wait and see, but this time I am hopeful! Sister-in-law may be about to be jobless though and may have to go back to school, which is bad timing since they just bought their house last year and clearly Brother can't work right now. We are doing all that we can to help. In fact, Sis is about to head out to pick up the kids so we can keep them for the rest of the weekend, so Brother can get some much needed sleep.