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20 June 2012 @ 11:17 pm
Actually, I Kind Of Want To Be A Zombie.  
Awhile back I promised you a therapy story, so here it goes.

I started getting massage therapy to my neck and omg is this guy good. After a couple of sessions I may have said, "Um, is it sexual harassment if I ask you to marry me?" I told Kevin I just wanted the guy's hands and Kevin was like, "Yeah, I need his hands to come to work with the rest of him, thanks,"


So we have some very entertaining conversations while we work together. He asked one day what my plans were for the weekend and I was like, "I have to finish the Avengers story I am writing for my nephew's birthday." I told him about The Nephew's idea to tell Hulk a joke when you want him to change back into Bruce. Massage Therapist was highly impressed with The Nephew's cunning. A few days later he said it was bugging him and he had to know what the joke was I wrote and then laughed hysterically when I told it to him. Then we talked a lot about our favorite comic book heroes. Adorable geek!

About three weeks later, I was asking him questions about his technique and he commended me for being so involved in my own care, because most people won't impose on you even regarding their own body. I said how my mom never asked the doctors questions when I was a kid and it drove me nuts, especially with long term side effects of medicine.

As soon as I mentioned medicine he starts telling me how they all got sent to take the vaccine for the H1N1 virus awhile back. When he went in to get the shot, he asked for some reading material on it, even just a pamphlet would have been fine. And they were like, "We don't have anything like that. Just take the shot," and it made him so uneasy. So he left without taking it. Everyone at work kept telling him how stupid that was when he works in the medical field around sick people.

His response?

MT: Really? You think so? Cuz I've seen this movie. I know how this ends. You're all turning into zombies and I'm not.
Me: Yeah. They seem fine now but it is dormant in their system. Something triggers that off and they're all zombies. Like that HV vaccine for girls. Seems fine now but you wait and see in ten years how many girls start having two-headed alien babies.
MT: See, I don't want to be a zombie or have an alien baby! You know what would be cool though? A vaccine that accidentally turns you into The Hulk.
Me: No. No, because then you get all Hulky every time you get angry. Can you control yourself like that? I can't. Plus, then you're just The Hulk and you can't do anything until you calm down.
MT: That's cool though because I'll just keep you around to tell me knock-knock jokes.

He not only talked about zombies, but then he referenced one of my fics in a conversation!! My little fangirl heart was so giddy!! Later he talked about all the Ren Fairs he has been too and then orgasmically described the giant slabs of turkey on a bone.

MT: It's like they killed Dino from The Flintstones and cooked him for me.
Me: They do know dinosaurs didn't exist in medieval times, right?
MT: Whatever. Giant slab of turkey on a bone, okay!

It's gotta be a guy thing, the need for ridiculous portions of meat on a stick, right? Why do people think food is better on a stick? We do though.

We are having a Fourth of July cookout this year - (I am betting we get at least 30 people to come) - and I kind of wanted to invite Massage Therapist. But I am off from therapy at the moment which makes it difficult to ask. If I was still working with him, I could be like all casual in our session, "You should drop by if you aren't doing anything." But now if I want to invite him, I have to call him at work or email him through their official site (which seems a little stalkerish). I am not even looking to date the guy - I just like hanging out with cool geeks. I guess I will veto that idea. It is still shaping up to be a pretty awesome barbeque though.
 
 
 
Kate: adore you in frightening dangerous waysceitfianna on June 21st, 2012 03:20 am (UTC)
You should email him, I think this is a great idea since he sounds awesome. Geeks unite!

I've had friends who worked at Renn Faires and apparently the turkey legs are actually emu or ostrich, I forget which as they're big enough.
dodger_sister: crotch shotdodger_sister on June 23rd, 2012 02:21 am (UTC)
You should email him, I think this is a great idea since he sounds awesome.

You don't think that seems overly pushy? I would have to go to the clinic official site and get his work email and then email him through that. I was worried that would seem kind of stalkerish. I don't know what proper procedure is for these kinds of things!

I did think about something like, "Hey, I was sad you weren't there on my last day as I enjoyed working with you so much. My sister and I are having a bbq on the Fourth of July - if you aren't doing anything, you should swing by so we can catch up. Hope to work with you again when I come back this fall! Take care."

That all sounds fine to me (to you too?), I am just worried that getting his email from the clinic site is a little weird. I would like him to come but I don't want it to be weird since he must be my massage therapist forever - my neck demands it!

I've had friends who worked at Renn Faires and apparently the turkey legs are actually emu or ostrich,

Ewwwww, who would eat an emu? Those things are ugly and nasty.
(no subject) - ceitfianna on June 23rd, 2012 02:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on June 23rd, 2012 02:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ceitfianna on June 23rd, 2012 02:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on June 23rd, 2012 02:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ceitfianna on June 23rd, 2012 02:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on June 23rd, 2012 02:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ceitfianna on June 23rd, 2012 02:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on June 21st, 2012 03:28 am (UTC)
You know how I feel about those turkey legs. Bleah. :)

Yay for geeky conversations during therapy! But you know, The Awesome Husband TM is strong with the Nursing Fu and he knows things and thinks flu shots are generally a really good idea.

So you should listen.
dodger_sister: zombiedodger_sister on June 23rd, 2012 02:28 am (UTC)
You know how I feel about those turkey legs. Bleah. :)

I was just told it may be possible that the meat on a bone is emu or ostrich. I think I would rather eat nuclear mutated turkey legs.

But you know, The Awesome Husband TM is strong with the Nursing Fu and he knows things and thinks flu shots are generally a really good idea.

lol Hey, Massage Therapist is the one who didn't get his shot! Normally I would listen to everything The Awesome Husband TM says just based solely on his cool code name, but my doctors mostly don't like me to take vaccines (for most things, not all). They usually say I am more likely to get sick from the shot itself than anything else. Not so much when I worked with kids, then we would fight about the flu shot because she thought I was more likely to get sick from the kids and it was worth the risk of getting sick from the shot. But now that I barely leave the house, she doesn't care anymore - shots are risky for me, besides the normal chance of getting whatever they are trying to prevent me from getting, I also have the weirdest reactions to things. Like a list of 72 possible side effects or allergy reactions to a medicine and I will end up having one that isn't on the list.

Anyways, you all go ahead and take the vaccine and then in the end, I will be here with Hot Italian Massage Therapist Geekboy...and you'll all be zombies. I have to say, even if you eventually eat my face - not a bad way to live out my end days.

edited because I couldn't seem to code your husband's code name

Edited at 2012-06-23 02:30 am (UTC)
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on June 23rd, 2012 04:38 am (UTC)
Yeah, if you're mostly at home and not all exposey, then there's not a real reason to take the shot. Teaching? Every year I am stuck with needles for flu without fail.

I don't think I'd migrate all the way to you as a zombie. Besides, we've promised that real love means shooting each other in the zombified brain pan, should the need arise.

DEFINITELY a good way to live out the end days!
(no subject) - dodger_sister on June 26th, 2012 02:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - vikingprincess on June 26th, 2012 01:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on June 28th, 2012 12:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - vikingprincess on June 28th, 2012 04:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on June 28th, 2012 08:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - vikingprincess on June 29th, 2012 03:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on June 29th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - vikingprincess on July 2nd, 2012 02:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
lizibabeslizibabes on June 21st, 2012 06:17 pm (UTC)
He sounds all kinds of awesome, I hope you find a way to get him to the cookout, awesome geeks are awesome :D
dodger_sister: crotch shotdodger_sister on June 23rd, 2012 02:41 am (UTC)
He sounds all kinds of awesome, I hope you find a way to get him to the cookout, awesome geeks are awesome :D

He is very cool and very sweet. I think he would fit right in with the people I hang out with.

I am currently in a discussion with ceitfianna about whether or not it would weird him out if I looked up his work email on the clinic site and emailed him through it. Why is socializing so hard?
Denidenig37 on June 22nd, 2012 12:14 am (UTC)
Aww, I miss Kevin *sigh*

But asorable italian geek boys are awesome!
I basically adopted one as my little borther on twitter :-D He's such a little cutie :-D

Edited at 2012-06-22 12:14 am (UTC)
dodger_sister: crotch shotdodger_sister on June 23rd, 2012 02:45 am (UTC)
Aww, I miss Kevin *sigh*

I know you do, babe. /pats your little fangirl head/

Between his crazy hours at the new clinic and the fact that it is sports season again here and he is coaching all his kids' teams, we barely get to talk anymore.

But asorable italian geek boys are awesome!

He is too! He keeps telling me stories about his Italian mom - it is too cute.

Is your friend on twiter an American-Italian or is his like from Italy?
Denidenig37 on June 23rd, 2012 11:38 am (UTC)
Is your friend on twiter an American-Italian or is his like from Italy?

His name is Luca and he's ans SPN fanboy from Italy :-D

Makes me giggle like a 13 yo girl when a real italian guy says/writes "ciao" :-D
ranuaranua on June 26th, 2012 11:24 am (UTC)
I am right there with you and MT on the H1N1 vaccine and zombiefication! I also believe that all the vaccines and sterilizing everything and not letting your kids be exposed to even dirt is what's gonna end up killing us all in the end. We're gonna go the way of the aliens from War of the Worlds, taken out by the common cold.

I miss Kevin too, but I'm very happy that we've now got a new star of your therapy stories and this one sounds like he'd make an excellent friend too! As for inviting him to the bbq, there's always the stopping in to the clinic and being all 'Oh, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop in to invite you to a bbq' I realize you don't get really get out though so that might not work but it's the most casual thing I could come up with. I really hate the phone but will add my vote to an e-mail
dodger_sister: crotch shotdodger_sister on June 28th, 2012 12:11 am (UTC)
They gave me medicine when I was a kid that they had never given to kids before. Now, years later, there are bad consequences and the docs are like, "We didn't know." My thinking is, "What else don't they know?" It is clear to me that zombiefication is not far off.

I also believe that all the vaccines and sterilizing everything and not letting your kids be exposed to even dirt is what's gonna end up killing us all in the end. We're gonna go the way of the aliens from War of the Worlds, taken out by the common cold.

Dude! Excellent comparision! Way to use War of the Worlds in your argument.

As for inviting him to the bbq, there's always the stopping in to the clinic and being all 'Oh, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop in to invite you to a bbq'

Yeah, the only time that I am ever on that side of town is on Sunday to see Grandpa.

I really hate the phone but will add my vote to an e-mail

I hate the phone too. I like it when it is someone I know really well like The BFF but I have to be on that level with them. People I barely know? Ugh, no. No matter how much I rehearse ahead of time, I always get nervous and forget half of why I called.

So, does looking up his work email on the clinic's website seem too stalkerish to you? I guess my real worry is that he will think I am asking him out and freak out. I don't know how to convey that I would be cool just to hang. I find it annoying that when I ask a girl to do something, she nevers thinks I am asking her out. And when I ask a guy to go do something, he always thinks I am asking him out.
(no subject) - ranua on June 28th, 2012 11:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on June 29th, 2012 07:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ranua on July 3rd, 2012 11:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
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wolfrider89: A Lev Geniuswolfrider89 on July 31st, 2012 07:08 am (UTC)
Dude, if you don't want to date him, I'll take him! A massage therapist who is also a geek? Could it get any better? ;)

I don't know if you ended up inviting him or not, since I'm way behind on everything, but I hope you did. He sounds like a great guy. Also, yay for zombies!

I dreamed about zombies who turned into little old ladies when you shone a flashlight on them. I'm apparently scared of old people. I blame Doctor Who.
dodger_sister: crotch shotdodger_sister on August 5th, 2012 07:45 pm (UTC)
Dude, if you don't want to date him, I'll take him! A massage therapist who is also a geek? Could it get any better? ;)

LOL That would be the definition of 'long distance relationship'.

I just don't have the energy to invest in 'dating' someone and asking people out never works in my favor - but I would def sex him up, if the opportunity arose. You know, invite him over to play a little Wii, have a few beers, everyone gets sweaty and hot and then people have to take off their clothes and...dude, I read waaaaaay to much fanfic, don't I?

I didn't end up inviting him. I went back and forth on it enough that I figured if I was having that much trouble deciding, I just shouldn't do it. My mom used to get stalkerish with guys a lot, so I always err on the side of caution when it comes to things like that. Plus, I will be at therapy on and off for years - if we are meant to be friends, it'll happen on its own, right?

I dreamed about zombies who turned into little old ladies when you shone a flashlight on them. I'm apparently scared of old people. I blame Doctor Who.

ahahahaha Dude. I am right there with you. Little old ladies can be scary as hell. Especially little old lady ghosts. But little old lady zombies are scary too!

PS: It just occurred to me that all the scary little old lady ghosts I was picturing in my head were all wearing nightgowns. Why are they scarier in nightgowns?

ugh, coding is hard, I'll stop spamming you with edits on this one.

Edited at 2012-08-05 07:52 pm (UTC)
wolfrider89wolfrider89 on September 1st, 2012 07:31 am (UTC)
That would be the definition of 'long distance relationship'.

Haha, oh yeah. Is there such a thing as VERY long distance relationship? Like, do you get extra points if they're on the other side of the globe? (I just wrote "on the other side of the glove". I wonder if that's an euphemism? :p)

You know, invite him over to play a little Wii, have a few beers, everyone gets sweaty and hot and then people have to take off their clothes and...dude, I read waaaaaay to much fanfic, don't I?

This made me laugh SO hard! But isn't that how it works? I mean, getting sweaty over Wii=sexy!times, right? I might read way too much fanfic, too...

Plus, I will be at therapy on and off for years - if we are meant to be friends, it'll happen on its own, right?

I'm sure it will, and then maybe next time there's a party you'll feel comfortable inviting him. :)

It just occurred to me that all the scary little old lady ghosts I was picturing in my head were all wearing nightgowns. Why are they scarier in nightgowns?

Nightgowns are scary shit! I don't know why. Maybe because I've never seen anyone wearing one in real life, so it's all mythical and stuff? :p
(no subject) - dodger_sister on September 11th, 2012 01:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - wolfrider89 on September 14th, 2012 08:22 am (UTC) (Expand)