dodger_sister (dodger_sister) wrote,

Fic: For In That Sleep - SPN, R, Angst, Dark, Drama, Sam/Dean & Gabriel

Last year I wrote two birthday fics for menel, but only ended up posting one of them. So here is the other. Last year was a flirty porny Dean/Gabriel piece. This is basically the opposite of that. Idk why I can only write crazy messed up Wincest.

Sam has been having the same dream his whole life. In it are two doors and behind those doors are two different lives for him to live. - Altered-Reality, Angst, Dark, Drama, Sam/Dean and Gabriel, Rated R with Dark Themes and highlight for more…Major Character Death, Spoilers for 5.19 and 1,268 words. Thanks to the amazing wolfrider89 for the beta.

Dedication: For menel. I wrote Wincest for you. Dark crazy messed up Wincest. It’s all for you, Damien. Happy Birthday!

Title: For In That Sleep
Author: The Artful Dodger / dodger_sister
Fandom: Supernatural
Category: Altered-Reality, Angst, Dark, Drama
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Dean and Gabriel
Rating: R
Warnings: Dark Themes and highlight for more…Major Character Death.
Spoilers: Hammer of the Gods episode 5.19
Summary: Sam has been having the same dream his whole life. In it are two doors and behind those doors are two different lives for him to live.
Word Count: 1,268 words.
Date Written: 01/29/2012
Disclaimer: “Supernatural” belongs to Eric Kripke and The CW Network. Not me. I wrote this story. I make no money off this story. That is all.
Feedback: Bring it. dodger_sister /
Beta’d: By the amazing wolfrider89.
Author's Notes: I can’t even tell you where this story came from. I was thinking how the piece I wrote for menel’s birthday was very fluffy sweet and how much she enjoys angst as well and couldn’t I come up with something angsty. I also was falling asleep and hoping not to have any stress dreams - (sadly, there have been a lot of them lately) - and suddenly the opening line came into my head, followed by the image of the two doors and…this story was born. Just like that. Even I was disturbed at the dark place it went, in the end. But I still rather like how it all came out, even if it disturbs me.
Dedication: For menel. I wrote Wincest for you. Dark crazy messed up Wincest. It’s all for you, Damien. Happy Birthday!

Sam had the dream for the first time when he was thirteen.

In it, he was standing in a dark room. There were two doors, side by side, and the only light in the whole room was coming from underneath these doors.

The dream would vary then, depending on which door he went through.

Behind the first door was Sam’s life as it mostly was. They’d be driving in the Impala - sometimes Sam would be a kid and he and Dean would be in the backseat and sometimes Sam would be an adult and they would be in the front seat - and classic rock of some kind would be playing. Dean would be smiling and talking, though Sam could never hear what he was saying, and the sun was always shining.

Sam would reach out to touch Dean and some invisible force would hold his hand back, make his chest constrict with pain. Dean would look over - sometimes right away, sometimes after long minutes of Sam trying to touch his brother and being unable to - and smile at him. Then Dean would tousle Sam’s hair and look away again.

Ahead of them, the road would stretch for endless miles and Sam knew they would always be here together.

And it was almost perfect.

Behind the second door was Sam’s life as he hoped for. Again, sometimes they would be kids and sometimes, later in his life, they would be adults. Sam would be standing in the middle of the road in some quiet little suburb. He would look down the street and see Dean in the front yard of a small blue house. Dean would be chasing a puppy - the kind of puppy varied from dream to dream - and laughing and smiling. Sam would wave at Dean and jog down the road. Dean always greeted him the same way, with wide open arms. Dean would press his lips to Sam’s cheek and Sam’s heart always skipped, pounded in his chest then.

When they pulled away from each other, Dean would be smiling and he would lean in, press his lips to Sam’s own and it was everything Sam ever wanted.

After the kiss - which sometimes was quick and chaste, sometimes slow and languid or even, at times, heated and hard - Sam and Dean would sit on the front steps, drinks in hand, and watch the puppy run and jump across the yard. Sometimes neighbors would walk by or come out of their houses and wave. Sam and Dean always waved back.

It wasn’t their real life, but it was Sam’s favorite life for them, nonetheless.

Then, when he was twenty-two, the end of this particular dream changed into something dark and terrible.

Sam and Dean still kissed and waved and watched the puppy but then, sitting on the steps of their little blue house, they would see a wall of smoke rising up from far away. Slowly the wall would get closer and closer and they could see the fire taking the houses of their neighbors, flames licking the sky as it came towards them. The horizon was dark with rolling clouds and off in the distance there was a noise, like the far away screech of some bird, only Sam knew it was really their neighbors and friends burning around them.

It was, in the end, the whole world burning.

The dream always ended the same after that - after his twenty-second birthday - with Dean collapsing to the ground, choking on smoke, and no matter what Sam did to get to him, somehow the smoke always blocked him. Sam could hear Dean choking and gasping, dying, and everything turned grey and hot and then Sam would inevitably wake up, jerking hard in his bed, choking on his brother’s name.

It was after Gabriel died in front of them that the dream changed again.

This time, after that long night in Indiana, when Sam went to sleep Gabriel was there, standing in front of the two doors.

“Hello, Sammy,” he said and grinned, wide and delighted.

“Don’t call me that,” Sam grumbled and then, “You’re dead.”

Gabriel just rocked back on his heels, stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“What do you want?” Sam asked, and somehow his voice sounded louder and more clear than it usually did.

“To make you an offer,” Gabriel said. “To help you out.”

“Why? You already died for us, or for Kali at least. Isn’t that enough?”

Gabriel shrugged. “I guess I like you, kid,” he said and scuffed his shoes along the blackened ground.

Sam waited, quiet and somehow nervous, for the angel to continue.

“I’m going to let you pick a door,” Gabriel said at last and when he looked up, his eyes were oddly huge and shining.

“I always pick a door,” Sam told him. He didn’t mention how often he picked the second door, even now that it ended in fear and pain.

“But this time for real,” Gabriel said and held his arms out in a grand gesture. “Everything can be just as you want it, Sammy. All you have to decide is how you want it.”

Sam thought about it, how it was almost like a djinn but not quite, because it was Gabriel and Gabriel wasn’t even real. Gabriel was dead. This was a dream and it had been a long day and even if it meant he would wake up reaching blindly through the smoke for his brother, Sam wanted his puppy and his blue house and the kiss from Dean that he never got anywhere else, in any other existence.

He stepped towards the second door.

Gabriel put a hand on Sam’s arm, looked up at him with sad, lost eyes. “Take care of yourself, kiddo,” he said and then opened the door for Sam.

Sam stepped through.

Everything was the same as usual then. The puppy was a small black lab this time and two of their dream-neighbors went jogging by in matching jumpsuits. They both drank beer on the front steps and their kiss was slow and sweet and left “I love you” in its wake.

Then the smoke came, barreling towards them and the fire was hot, even as far away as it was. Their puppy ran off and the clouds clapped thunder in anger.

Down the road, in the spot where Sam always appeared as soon as he walked through the door, Gabriel stood.

Sam yelled out to him, but Gabriel didn’t yell back.

The smoke was there now and Dean was gasping and Sam swore he heard a voice, Gabriel’s voice, saying, “I really am sorry, Sammy. I always liked you, but I can’t have my brothers killing each other.”

Dean fell to his knees then, choking and clawing at Sam’s leg. This time, unlike all the times before, Sam fell to his knees too.

He could hear the sound of people screaming and he looked, tried to see where Gabriel had gone but there was nothing save for flames and smoke and the world ending.

Sam knew then, with the clarity of his waking life, that this time had been real. That this was the real Dean, his Dean, on his knees next to him, gasping for breath. That they had shared their first and last kiss, for real this time, and it had been everything Sam had ever wanted.

And this time, this time here on the front lawn of their little blue house, Dean died in Sam’s arms.

And Sam closed his eyes and died too.

The End
Tags: birthdays, character - dean winchester, character - gabriel, character - sam winchester, fandom - supernatural, fic - altered reality, fic - angst, fic - dark-fic, fic - drama, fiction - mine, pair - dean/sam, rating - r, warning - dark-fic, warning - death, word count - 1001 to 3000, written - 2012

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