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01 August 2010 @ 07:54 pm
Fic: 5X Jensen Thought They Were Dorks and 1X He Knew For Sure - Jensen, Jared/Misha, PG-13, Humor  
It was 13chapters's birthday a few days back, so I wrote her fic. I know, I know, it's a little belated. I had srz bznz to attend - like marathoning almost the entirety of SPN Season 5 with The Cousin's Sister (I guess that would be The Other Cousin) because she was all pissed that her sister was all caught up and she wasn't. We have two episodes left to go!

Anyway, 13chapters, hope it was an awesome day!

The story is Jared/Misha from Jensen's POV. Jensen is only slightly oblivious. Jared and Misha are only slightly big giant dorks.

Title: 5x Jensen Thought They Were Dorks and 1x He Knew For Sure
Author: dodger_sister
Fandom: CW RPF
Category: 5x, Humor
Characters/Pairing: Jensen, Jared/Misha
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mild Language and Mild Sexual Situations
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Jensen doesn’t think anything of it. Except, of course, maybe, that Jared and Misha are big giant dorks.
Word Count: 1,054 words.
Date Written: 07/30/2010
Disclaimer: These are real people. Their asses are owned by The CW. No? Are you sure? Fine. They belong to no one. This shit never happened. I wrote this story. I make no money off it. Spoil sports.
Beta’d: Nope.
Author's Notes: Jared and Misha are so handsy with each other lately. It can’t all be just for the fan-girls entertainment, can it? Oh, wait, it’s Jared and Misha. Yes, it totally could be all for our entertainment. But I’m going to live under different delusions. K? Great.
Dedication: 13chapters, Happy Birthday, Dude! Since I owe the discovery of that one picture of the Jared/Misha handjob to you, I figured some Mishalecki lovin’ was right for your special day. In sum, I blame this all on you. *g* Happy Birthday, hope it was a great one!
Additions: Translated into Russian by the lovely ampr.

If any of the convention pictures belong to you, drop me a line and I'll credit you. :)

The first time, Jensen didn’t think much of it. He’d let himself into Misha’s trailer, to borrow some book Misha had been spouting on about, and found his friend face down on the bed, completely passed out. Not that uncommon. Misha slept pretty much any chance he could get.

And well, okay, it was a little strange that Jared was passed out in Misha’s bed too, face down and half-sprawled across Misha’s back. But Jared was a touchy, cuddly guy on a good day, and he’d gotten little to no sleep in the past week, so yeah, whatever.

Jensen picked up the book and whispered, “Mish, taking your book, dude.”

“Nnnngghh,” both men grumbled at the same time.

Dorks, Jensen thought and excused himself from the trailer.


The second time, Jensen found them down a hallway by the lunch area. Jared was pressed flat against a wall and Misha was standing oddly close to him. He had a very serious face on.

“Dude,” Jensen said, and the two men turned to look at him. “This is why I tell the fan-girls that all Castiel’s personal space issues come from you. That’s way too close, man.”

Misha tilted his head at Jensen and said in his best Castiel voice, “You have an issue with my personal boundaries, Jensen?” and then stepped right up into Jensen’s space. Jensen looked over and saw Jared grinning like an idiot.

“Stop breathing on my face,” Jensen muttered and stalked away.

Dorks, Jensen thought, then got distracted by lunch.


The third time, he just chalked it up to the fact that they were both goobers.

Jensen was waiting for them by the van, so they could head to their first location of the day, when Jared and Misha approached.

Jared was carrying Misha on his back.

“Dude, really?” Jensen asked.

“My scooter was broken,” Misha said and slid down off of Jared.

“So, you thought you’d call Jared for a ride?”

“Jared likes it when I ride him, don’cha’, Jay?” Misha asked, and then slapped Jared’s ass and got into the van.

Jared laughed, then climbed in next to Misha.

Dorks, Jensen thought and got in after them.


The fourth time, Jensen was starting to get uncomfortable.

When he got to the set, Jared was sitting in his usual chair. Misha was on the floor, between Jared’s legs.

That was no big deal in and of itself. Nor was the fact that Jared had his hands up inside Misha’s shirt, rubbing and pushing at the other man’s back.

Jared gave Jensen back rubs all the time. He was pretty damn good at it too. In fact, Jensen was thinking maybe he had some kinks he needed worked out himself.

Misha was making kind of obscene noises, and Jensen didn’t really think anything of that either. He’d been known to make maybe slightly less obscene, but still pretty pornographic noises, when Jared was rubbing him down.

But then Jared leaned forward and bit the side of Misha’s neck and said, “I’m gonna wet right through my briefs, if you keep up moaning like that, baby.”

Jensen took a step back.

Misha just laughed, and reached behind himself, right for Jared’s crotch.

Dorks, Jensen thought and went to wait outside.


The fifth time, Jensen decided his friends had just lost it.

He found Jared’s dogs in his trailer, so he leashed them up, along with Icarus, and took them all out for potty-time.

“Well,” he said to the big dogs, “Wanna go see what you’re daddy is doing?”

Daddy was in his trailer, sitting on the couch.

Misha was straddling his lap and very effectively shoving his tongue down Jared’s throat.

“Shit,” Jensen yelped. “The hell, guys?”

Misha scrambled off Jared’s lap and looked around at anything but Jensen.

Jared just wiped his mouth and smiled. “Just practicing,” he said.

“For what?”

Jared grinned wide. “For you, gorgeous,” and winked at him.

Dorks, Jensen thought, as he scooped up Icarus and went away quickly.


The sixth time, he got the picture at last.

He was suppose to be picking Jared up for dinner, so he just let himself into the man’s house, as per usual. Jared wasn’t in the front rooms and he didn’t answer when Jensen hollered, so Jensen led himself toward the bedroom.

He thought he heard noises coming from there and smiled at the image of the last time he had walked in on Jared getting ready. The bigger man had been trying to brush his teeth, put on his pants and sing along to Van Halen, all at the same time.

Of course, Jensen wasn’t so lucky this time around.

Instead, he found Jared spread out across his bed, his shirt off, pants pushed down to his ankles. Misha was kneeling on the bed, between Jared’s legs, with his head buried…

“Oooo-kay,” Jensen shouted, “What the freaking hell?”

Misha’s head whipped up and Jensen saw his glazed over eyes and his swollen lips. Jensen yelped and fell backwards over his own feet, landing ungraciously on his butt in the hall.

“Sonofabitch,” he muttered, shook his head to clear it, and looked up. There was a hand extending towards him.

“No, Mish, thanks, man, but I don’t know where that hand has been,” and Jensen pushed himself up to his feet.

“I told you we should have sent him a memo,” Misha said.

Jared was there then, pants up and pulling a shirt on over his head. “And they say I’m the oblivious one,” Jared muttered.

“Who says that?” Misha asked. “I’ll kick their asses.”

“Uh,” Jensen said.

Jared and Misha linked their hands together and started swinging their arms back and forth.

“Mish can come to dinner with us, right, Jen?” Jared asked, like an over-eager puppy.

“Uh,” Jensen said, “Sure?’

Jared and Misha high-fived each other.

“S’up, Jen, you look a little pale?” Misha asked.

“I didn’t…when did…”

“You were right,” Jared said solemnly. “He needed a memo.”

“Or a newspaper announcement.”

“Or a giant flashing neon sign.”

“On his front lawn.”

“You’re both…”Jensen sputtered, “You’re just…idiots,” and he shook his finger at each of them for emphasis. “Now get your asses in the car, I’m starving,” and he walked away, shaking his head.

“God,” Jared said, laughing, “He’s such a dork.”

The End

Translated into Russian by the lovely ampr
and better times are coming still.13chapters on August 2nd, 2010 12:48 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH YAYYYYY!!!! omg I am so happy with my birthday present!

I love how Jared and Misha's extreme dorkiness makes such a good cover for ~shenanigans~. It's so true!

you have to post this to jaredmisha omg. Everyone must know.
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 2nd, 2010 01:10 am (UTC)
OMG, you read it! You liked it! (I was going to wave at you to let you know I posted you fic, wow you are fast!)

I know, Jared and Misha act like such complete goobers half the time, nobody would be taking them seriously, even if they like caught them making out. I totally have a sequel in mind, titled "5x Jensen Wasn't Even Jealous Anyway, Cuz J2 Is Still Way More Popular and 1x He Accidently Said So To Misha". Yeah, I'll totally get on that by your next birthday. *g*

I don't actually belong to JaredMisha community (plan on posting on CW RPS and WB RPS) but if someone wanted to fic rec it, if that's allowed, I wouldn't be opposed to that. *g* See what I did there? I made you a present and then gave you a job to do. Or not.

Anyway, happy birthday! Glad you liked it (I totally was gonna write you a fic where the tornado sirens are going off and Jared freaks out and makes Misha get in the closet with him and then they get naked and Misha comments on the irony. But I wasn't feeling the porn. Maybe next time I'm feelin' the porn, I'll pull that back out. It also seemed un-birthday-like to mock your fear of tornadoes, especially since I totally share said fear.) Laters.
(no subject) - 13chapters on August 2nd, 2010 01:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on August 3rd, 2010 04:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Jojo: Jensen & Misha & Jim - Hey Handsome!jojothecr on August 2nd, 2010 10:30 am (UTC)
Aw, lol, poor Jensen. Seriously, he can be slow. But also cute.

Oh, and this is actually the first Jared/Misha fic I've read. J2 all the way, what can I say. ;)
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 3rd, 2010 01:56 am (UTC)
Thanks! Writing this from Jensen's POV was so much fun. I'm tempted to write more because oblivious!Jensen is so cute! :)

This is actually the first Jared/Misha fic I ever wrote. For some reason I normally like to write Misha with Michael Rosenbaum - M2 all the way! :) (that pairing totally makes sense, I tell you!)
CJ: Blow Me Casflawlessglitch on August 3rd, 2010 03:34 am (UTC)
*Dies laughing picturing Jared brushing his teeth, putting on pants, and singing to Van Halen*

But uh Jared's little line to Misha while he was massaging him? HOTTEST THING EVER!

I loved this, all of it, every single bit. <3 <3
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 5th, 2010 02:43 am (UTC)
*Dies laughing picturing Jared brushing his teeth, putting on pants, and singing to Van Halen*

This is my second favorite image in the fic, right after Jared carrying Misha on his back. :)

But uh Jared's little line to Misha while he was massaging him? HOTTEST THING EVER!

Thanks! That kind of surprised me, and then after I wrote it, I wondered if I needed to up the rating just because, wow that was pornographic. I could write a whole fic elaborating on what happened after Jensen went to wait outside. Hmmm, maybe the reason Jensen didn't figure it out for so long is because he kept walking away before the good stuff happened. :)

Thanks for the love! <3 <3
Alex: SPN Jared caressing his assdragonlit on August 3rd, 2010 03:46 am (UTC)
Very cute, Jensen oblivious to the obvious. First Jared/Misha read for me too as I tend towards the Jensen/Misha, Dean/Cas and I thought it was hilarious and delightful. <3
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 5th, 2010 02:35 am (UTC)
I love to read Jensen/Misha too. This Jared/Misha thing kind of crept up on me, but now that I've started, I think I want to write more. It must be their dorkilicious selves calling out to me. :) Thanks - hliarious and delightful were exactly what I was going for! <3
alxtorres33alxtorres33 on August 3rd, 2010 04:22 am (UTC)
OMG that was just too adorable :) Loved their dorkiness >.< And I totally started shipping Jared and Misha after seeing their adorable dorkiness off screen but there's just not enough fics to go around!!!! Thanks for writing this definitely favoriting it!
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 5th, 2010 02:30 am (UTC)
Thanks! Jared and Misha have had some especially Goober-ific moments together off-screen, I had to ship them. I thought there would be tons of Jared/Misha fics out there, I was shocked to find out otherwise.

definitely favoriting it!

Yay! That makes me happy. :)
woman_of_: Cowboy Jaredwoman_of_ on August 3rd, 2010 04:27 am (UTC)
Oh I love Jared and Misha. This made getting up extra early worth it. They really had Jensen guessing, even if it was unintential.

dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 5th, 2010 02:27 am (UTC)
I hate getting up extra early! I'm glad I could give you something fun to start your day with. Thanks so much for the love! :)
[meg]: actors: jared/misha public buttsexearthquakedream on August 3rd, 2010 05:15 am (UTC)
Heee, this is hilarious! Jensen, you oblivious goofball. ♥
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 5th, 2010 02:23 am (UTC)
Thanks! Jensen is def. a goofball - he just thinks it's Jared & Misha who are, but I think he's got it wrong. Well, okay, Jared & Misha are goofs too. *g*
as good as baby Jesus in velvet pants: Jen/Mishahigh_flyer87 on August 3rd, 2010 07:47 am (UTC)
Eeeee! That's adorable! :D
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 5th, 2010 02:18 am (UTC)
Thanks! They are all just too cute!
xsamxgabrielxshipper: Sam/Cas Friendwolfish_willow on August 4th, 2010 12:08 am (UTC)
*giggles like crazy* That was awesome! Oh, Jensen, you are so clueless. And Jared and Misha are amazing! <3<3<3 Great fic!
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 5th, 2010 12:46 am (UTC)
Jensen is adorable. I loved writing him. Jared and Misha were just so happy together. :) <3 Thanks!
You ain't got no pancake mix!: SPNRP: Ship; Misha/Jaredcasiedearestfic on August 4th, 2010 12:51 am (UTC)
“Or a giant flashing neon sign.”

“On his front lawn.”

Ahahaha what I wouldn't give to see this sign, I don't even know why that made me laugh so hard, tbh.

But this was thoroughly entertaining, I hate how Jensen gets Misha all the time, it's balls, dude!
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 5th, 2010 12:39 am (UTC)
Baby - I feel like we haven't talked in forever - my fault, I have been mega-busy. Ah, you read it! Yay!

I think Jensen outghta watch himself, he might wake up to find said sign in his yard - Jared and Misha are little shitheads like that. *g*

I like Jared/Misha. I like Jensen/Misha. Then it occurred to me, I just like Misha/anyone. I might have a slight problem that way. :)
(no subject) - casiedearestfic on August 5th, 2010 03:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on August 6th, 2010 01:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - casiedearestfic on August 6th, 2010 01:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
Annieaythia on August 6th, 2010 07:04 am (UTC)
*giggles* Oh Jensen sweetie... not the sharpest tool in the shed eh? :P
dodger_sister: rp jareddork-secretlytodreamdodger_sister on August 8th, 2010 07:18 am (UTC)
Thanks! Isn't it adorable what an oblivious-dork he is? I'm jazzed that you liked it, being that Jensen is your boy and it's so different from any Jensen I have ever written. <3 <3 <3
andrea_deer: RPS - Jared/Misha - WUV HUGZandrea_deer on August 14th, 2010 05:05 pm (UTC)
I loved this XD That pairing is so made of awesome and soooo dorky XD
dodger_sister: gooeychocolatechipcookie-daddysgirl_2010dodger_sister on August 15th, 2010 08:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm kind of grooving on Jared/Misha. They're are so adorkable-cute together! <3 :)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on August 15th, 2010 08:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Lovely soul: цветокampr on October 2nd, 2010 06:04 pm (UTC)
That's just brilliant! I laughed like mad :D Thank you!
I liked how relaxed are Jared&Misha!
dodger_sister: dodger-oliver&co-dodger_sisterdodger_sister on October 5th, 2010 02:37 am (UTC)
Thanks! I like making people laugh like mad!
I liked how relaxed are Jared&Misha!
That's very cool of you, because it makes me feel like I nailed the characters just right then. Thank you. :)
yaoibatman: Misha/Jared: Kissyaoibatman on October 8th, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
Wonderful! I love this!
dodger_sister: dodger-oliver&co-dodger_sisterdodger_sister on October 20th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC)
Dude, sorry it took so long to respond to this. I was away on vacation and I am only just now catching up on my backlog of comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed my Jared/Misha. It was tons of fun to write! Thank you!! :)
(no subject) - yaoibatman on October 20th, 2010 06:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on October 21st, 2010 04:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - yaoibatman on October 21st, 2010 01:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
deadlynight27: Son of a Bitchdeadlynight27 on October 14th, 2010 09:53 pm (UTC)
Just got rec'd this story and I'm SO glad I read it! It had me giggling. So good. <3
dodger_sister: dodger-oliver&co-dodger_sisterdodger_sister on October 20th, 2010 02:57 am (UTC)
I am excited to hear someone recced my fic! And that you enjoyed it! Glad I could make you giggle. Thanks! :)