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19 July 2013 @ 03:28 pm
Like One Of The Seven Dwarfs.  
Everything has been making me grumpy all week. Mainly the problem is the heat - it's been in the low hundreds since Sunday. The air pressure keeps making me dizzy and my sister even had a little bout of heat-sickness while running errands. Also, I think in some part I am extra edgy because Cory Monteith's death really brought up a bunch of crap I didn't want to think about. And then the whole world is just being stupid. If I go to Tumblr because I need kittens and Dean/Cas to cheer me up, please stop dropping social issues in my face. Yes, I think people can be more educated about things and yes, that story about the pedophile getting custody of his kid is upsetting - but I was ALREADY UPSET, so please just let me look at Dean/Cas arts and stop harshing my buzz.

This is by way of saying if you don't want your buzz to be harshed by my rant, don’t click the cut…

*Saying that a person who craves attention is like a drug addict except that they will always crave the attention, whereas once a drug addict is off the drugs, they will never crave the drugs again. Um...NO. WRONG. Yes, you are not chemically dependent on it anymore, but NO, YOU WILL NEVER STOP FULLY CRAVING IT. It may get less or better, but it will NEVER go away. I thought most people, even people without this personal experience, understood that these days.

*Going to the Tumblr tag ‘addiction’ is not the same as going to recovery forums and is, overall, a bad idea. There were some posts that were what I needed, were helpful or thoughtful. But in the middle of those were various people saying things like, ‘I think I have a serious addiction and this might kill me. I'm addicted to Tumblr!!!!! lol.’ Don't tag that shit 'addiction'! Internet addiction is actually a problem, but this was just some dumbass making a joke about it. Pissed my shit off.

*My current physical therapist - who I adore - telling a story about how they often leave soaps on the TV and one day a patient was like, "Uh, can we change the channel?" and she looked up and saw two dudes kissing and was like, "Ewwwwwww, yes, let's change the channel." Woman, you are 34 years old - that is an uncalled for reaction! "When did soaps start doing that?" Oh, Idk, ten years ago! I admit to cutting a lot of slack to people in the generations above mine when they have a kneejerk reaction like that - especially when I know them to not be bigoted in any way - it’s just that in the ratio of their lifetime, this is not something they are used to seeing. But I expect better from my own generation! Now I'm side-eyeing her real hard. (I also spent a lot of time after that telling her about a romance I was reading and emphasizing how the two love interests were both guys! Ha!)

*My cousin’s 13 year old son saying about his step-sister that he has never known a kid who likes to clean as much as she does and how 'she is going to make some man a real good wife'. And I was like, "What if she doesn't want to be a wife? Or what if she wants to divide the household chores up with her spouse?" and he told me that a woman's job is to do all the cleaning. And then someone said something about a male nurse, and he said, "Hold the phone! Dudes are nurses? No, only women are nurses. That's a woman's job," and I was like, "Hey, the best nurse I ever had was a man." And my sister was all, "You know what? That's bullshit. We got to knock that right out of you, boy. No one in our family thinks like that," and I said, "It's the year 2013, you better rewire that brain of yours to this century." Man, the heavy influence I had on the first eight years of this child's life have been completely washed away by his mother apparently remarrying a misogynistic asshat.

The BFF can attest that was only a small portion of the things I ranted about on the phone on Wednesday, so to cheer myself up, I went and watched stories on youtube about foster kids being adopted. And that’s when I found this. Do you think if you just met a random person that you would ever walk away from the encounter and think, “I think that is my brother." Because that’s what happened here.

Check it out!

It’ll make you feel better!
 
 
 
lizibabes: A&T featherslizibabes on July 19th, 2013 08:32 pm (UTC)
*hugs you* The heat isn't as bad here, but I don't deal with it well so I know how you feel, it is grumpy making.
Cory's death was upsetting, is upsetting and I can see wanting an escape. My tumblr is ljhamlin91 by theway. I don't reblog a lot but it's generally light hearted stuff.

I need to get my tumblr to work on my computer as well as phone so I can find you a link to the cutest thing ever. Some one has made a cartoon that includes dean, cas and sam done on the style of the powerpuff girls

I hope you feel better <3

dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on July 21st, 2013 11:47 pm (UTC)
hugs you*

I'll take hugs, thank you.

The heat isn't as bad here, but I don't deal with it well so I know how you feel, it is grumpy making.

Anybody with health issues, yeah, the heat is an extra pain in the ass to go along with everything else. It was in the 90s all week with an extra 10 degree bump of humidity for a whopping 105F on Thursday. But it rained on Friday night! So now we are just in the high 80s with little to no humidity. Yeah, it's reached the time of summer where I complain about the heat, but in five months, it'll be winter and I will be freezing my ass off with 20F chills outside.

Cory's death was upsetting, is upsetting and I can see wanting an escape.

It just hit way too close to home. His story was always inspiring to me in my own struggle with drugs and even when he went back into rehab, I was uplifted like, "Look, yes, he relapsed, but he keeps trying to be better. So even if I relapse at some point, it doesn't have to be the end." But then, of course, for him it was the end - so that just stirred up a lot of feelings for me.

My tumblr is ljhamlin91 by theway. I don't reblog a lot but it's generally light hearted stuff.

Oh, that's cool! I'll check it out. I don't have a tumblr myself but I have found a few I like to check regularly (it started with The BFF's and branched out) but I could use one with light-hearted stuff to end my tumblr-browsing time with for sure!

Some one has made a cartoon that includes dean, cas and sam done on the style of the powerpuff girls

OH YES, I want that! If you find it, let me know!

I hope you feel better <3

Thank you - it was a long weekend and my anxiety is not completely under control, but the better weather and a good day yesterday certainly helped! Hope you are doing good too, babe!
lizibabeslizibabes on July 22nd, 2013 07:37 pm (UTC)
I don't deal with too hot well and I think it makes me sicker, but the cold is hell on my joints. But yep weather does play havoc with health problems of all kinds. I don't think it's been as hot here, but there is no breeze at all today.

Cory's relapse ended in tragedy,but I think your right that he's an inspiration, because he kept fighting to get better, even though he was in a temptation filled world.

I found the link for you http://bellagattino.tumblr.com/

More hugs, anxiety is one of the worst things.

I'm not doing too bad
dodger_sister: squeedodger_sister on July 29th, 2013 08:49 pm (UTC)
because he kept fighting to get better, even though he was in a temptation filled world.

That's actually a good way to look at it! It's all just a big scary question mark in my life and I try to remember that a question mark means I have no way of knowing how it will end - just as easily positive as anything else.


That SPN Powerpuff art!!! ahahahahah That's AWESOME!!!

Edited at 2013-07-29 08:50 pm (UTC)
lizibabes: petelizibabes on August 2nd, 2013 09:05 pm (UTC)
Part of me thinks it'd be cool to know what the future holds and the other part of me thinks that's scary as hell. Even though I know it could be positive. The future is just scary at time.

The SPN thing was just so awesome. I Aww'd right away
Kate: prof kirke pleaseceitfianna on July 19th, 2013 08:55 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I try to balance out the serious on my Tumblr with pretty and silly, but I know sometimes the issues appear more. Oh and it looks like if it still works that I'll come visit next week from Monday to Wednesday.

I hate when people are that stupid and don't think about what their words mean and how much they matter to younger kids. I was struck by that this past year that even people who work with kids all the time forget how much kids get. It made it so frustrating sometimes when I wanted to say in a meeting, look, the kids know you don't think they can handle this. That's why they're not giving as much, because if an adult doesn't think they can do it why should they? Sorry, its a pet peeve of mine. I was lucky enough to grow up around adults who mainly treated me as a full human being no matter how small I was and I think that's important. Basically, I completely get where you're coming from and all your annoyance.

Edited at 2013-07-19 08:55 pm (UTC)
dodger_sister: angrydodger_sister on July 21st, 2013 11:54 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I try to balance out the serious on my Tumblr with pretty and silly,

Yeah, a good balance is key, I think. Yours has a nice balance to it. I think my main problem is I need to stop scrolling through tags - too much crazy in the tags. Also, have you seen Teen Wolf fandom on Tumblr? Wow, I forgot how wanky early-on fandoms can be.

I hate when people are that stupid and don't think about what their words mean and how much they matter to younger kids.

Yeah, I hate when people talk about stuff in front of kids and think the kids won't pick up on it. "Oh, he's playing in the corner, he can't hear us." He's playing - not deaf! But in regards to my cousin's step-dad, I think this guy is actively teaching these view points to the kid. He also carries a concealed weapon around everywhere, even with his 3yr old with him, and has convinced my 13yr old cousin that guns are the coolest things ever. And we aren't talking about hunting rifles here! So I think he has no problem with the message he is sending to kids.
Kate: James: We areYoungceitfianna on July 21st, 2013 11:58 pm (UTC)
I have, a few of my friends are involved in it so I pick up some of the fandom from them. I've yet to delve too deeply into it as I'm afraid of what I might find. So far I haven't done a lot of exploring into tags unless I wonder if there's a tumblr for something or other.

That step-dad sounds terrifying, I wouldn't feel comfortable in a house like that. I didn't grow up with guns but it seems like a big part of having guns is respecting what they can do.
dodger_sister: angrydodger_sister on July 22nd, 2013 12:12 am (UTC)
I've yet to delve too deeply into it as I'm afraid of what I might find.

I went to the Teen Wolf tag after the most recent episode because I was excited and wanted to see what everyone was saying - and while some of it was good - (and of course people had giffed all the scenes I wanted to see giffed!) - a lot of it was ship bashing and over the top emotional feels that had me like, "Okay, maybe I have gotten too old now to have such dramatic feelings about a TV show because these kids need to calm down!" I think I just need to find some Teen Wolf-ers out there who this isn't there first time around the block and follow those people. Tags are evil!

I wouldn't feel comfortable in a house like that. I didn't grow up with guns but it seems like a big part of having guns is respecting what they can do.

It totally is a big part of it! I am from a farming family, which means a hunting family, but if one of us kids expressed interest in hunting, gun safety was the first thing we learned! Hunting rifles are not a new thing for the kid, but handguns hidden under a jacket - not okay in a house with a 13, 8 and 3 year old.
Kate: Dean time rambles onceitfianna on July 22nd, 2013 12:16 am (UTC)
Some of my followers might work for you then. Alexscat, Herdivineshadow and Notyourplayground are all people that I RP with who also are in Teen Wolf fandom. Its mainly their fault that I watch the show and they tend to reblog good stuff. Most of my Teen Wolf stuff comes from them.

I find it interesting that due to Tumblr, I think I'm the most aware I've ever been of the X-Men fandom due to who I follow since its easier to find places. LJ and DW can be good but sometimes its hard to know which comm will do what you want. Since on Tumblr, I mainly want pictures, searching can work.
dodger_sister: teen wolfdodger_sister on July 22nd, 2013 12:27 am (UTC)
Tagging their tumblrs for future Teen Wolf feels! (alexscat is such a familiar name - I'm going to have to check and see what other fandoms this person has been in because I feel like we have been in one together before). Thanks!
Kate: Hatter is bemusedceitfianna on July 22nd, 2013 12:29 am (UTC)
She's wonderful and plays Stiles in Milliways so well. At least in Milliways she always plays Carol Danvers and Lady Mary Crawley so possibly through Downton or Marvel fandoms. I know she's involved with others but I don't know them as well.
Shireboundshirebound on July 19th, 2013 09:00 pm (UTC)
I know the heat is really oppressive all over the country. My dad in Philly is getting 100 degrees today.
dodger_sister: grumpydodger_sister on July 21st, 2013 11:59 pm (UTC)
I know the heat is really oppressive all over the country. My dad in Philly is getting 100 degrees today.

It was in the hundreds all week last week, the low to mid 90s with a 10 degree bump for humidity and then on Thursday it was 97+humidity to make it 105 degrees outside. I felt so unbelievably sick. I'll tell you though, Philly and places out on the east coast have been getting slammed - rain upon rain upon rain and then stifling scorching heat waves. It's no good for anyone!

Luckily it finally stormed on here - for two hours straight, kept everyone awake - but it's now in the high 80s and yeah, I'll take that over 105 anyday!
Shireboundshirebound on July 22nd, 2013 12:03 am (UTC)
Whew, what a relief that must be!
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on July 20th, 2013 12:11 am (UTC)
In teh boonies with almost no wi-fi at all - so sad about Corey; smack that nephew HARD, so sorry you are having a hard week, ILU!
dodger_sister: angrydodger_sister on July 22nd, 2013 12:04 am (UTC)
so sad about Corey;

I am sure you can imagine why Cory's death - someone who was trying so hard to stay clean and do better - would knock me down like that. His story was inspiring to me and to have it end like that, has me rattled. Not to mention, god, he was so young and so many people are mourning this.

smack that nephew HARD

I want to smack his mother for marrying the asshat who is teaching him this shit! Sometimes I question my own sanity for having been best friends with her for so many years (back when) - I thought she was better than marrying a gun-toting misogynistic patriarchal idiot.

so sorry you are having a hard week, ILU!

ILU2!!! Thank you, babe. It is slowly getting better.
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on July 22nd, 2013 02:53 am (UTC)
My god, yes, for someone who had seemingly overcome so much to end up dying so young is just awful; I would guess that it's especially shattering when you can relate to his struggles so intimately.

And I've been siting here for like, half an hour trying to come up with a graceful way to say this, and it's just not coming: don't go thinking that his end is anything like related to your life or destiny or whatever, because it's NOT. Okay, please?

Related but less intense: I hope the whole cast is all right, too. It has to have been just like losing a family member for all of them.

Hopefully the boy will meet girls of his own age who smack him around for being a proto-dickhead, and peer pressure will do something positive in making him a better human being. We can hope, right?
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on July 29th, 2013 09:19 pm (UTC)
And I've been siting here for like, half an hour trying to come up with a graceful way to say this, and it's just not coming: don't go thinking that his end is anything like related to your life or destiny or whatever, because it's NOT. Okay, please?

Just FYI, when I originally read this comment, I actually cried. Just because...that you sat there and took the time to think of words to try to help - you don't know how very little that happens when it comes to my drug use. Nobody ever knows what to say, but sometimes just someone trying is all I really need, not shying away from it. Shit, see, now I'm gonna cry again! And your right, I know your right, because here I am 3 1/2 years out and still standing - but it does just hit on a lot of my fears and I try to remember like 'the worst doesn't always happen' - because honestly when I was a kid, nobody thought I'd live to be 35 and here I am, so even if my stupid brain sometimes tells me I won't make it...well, it can go fuck itself, I'm in charge of my own life.

Related but less intense: I hope the whole cast is all right, too. It has to have been just like losing a family member for all of them.

I thought of that too. I know it's a bigger cast than SPN, but it seems very 'family-like' among the cast like SPN, and I tried to imagine what it would be like if Jensen or Jared or Misha died and it was a bad thought. Shit, I fucking bawled my eyes out when Kim Manners died in what was it, S2? (though to be fair, I had been following Kim's career since 21 Jump Street & The X-Files days). Tumblr informs me that the Glee fandom is being wanktastic towards the cast over Twitter for 'not grieving the appropriate way' but I have avoided actually looking at any of that shit.
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on July 30th, 2013 01:05 am (UTC)
even if my stupid brain sometimes tells me I won't make it...well, it can go fuck itself, I'm in charge of my own life. Hell, YES.

Twitheads are asses. There is no "right way" to mourn. Jerks.