Title: Science Bros: Saving The City!
Author: The Artful Dodger / dodger_sister
Fandom: The Avengers
Category: Action/Adventure, Fic-For-Kids, Gen, Humor
Characters/Pairing: Tony ‘Ironman’ Stark, Bruce ‘The Hulk’ Banner & cameos from various Avengers + Nick Fury
Warnings: Violence against robots and well, Tony being Tony.
Summary: Tony and Bruce are the only Avengers available when the distress call comes in. But Bruce isn’t going to do Tony any good if he can’t get angry enough to turn, no matter how hard Tony tries to make him.
Word Count: 2,812 words.
Date Written: July, 2013.
Disclaimer: Avengers is Marvel’s, not mine. Story is mine, written for my nephew, not for profit.
Feedback: Bring it. dodger_sister / TheArtofDodger@comcast.net
Beta’d: By the always awesome vikingprincess!
Author's Notes: Based off The Nephew’s (age 7 now!) prompt that Tony and Bruce should be fighting the bad guys but Bruce can’t get angry and turn into The Hulk and then he finally does, after Tony has defeated everyone and then Tony is all like, “Oh great, now you turn into The Hulk. Thanks a lot!” That was his prompt!
Dedication: For The Nephew! My favorite sleepover friend! And the best nephew ever!
Images taken from the internet. Art made by dodger_sister.
Bruce Banner and Tony Stark - or The Hulk and Iron Man, though they were not suited up for battle at the moment - were in the kitchen of Avengers Tower. Tony was making eggs and Bruce was making toast. It was early in the morning and Bruce was surprised to see Tony up already.
“What do you have planned for the day?” he asked his friend.
“I was going to work on my robots. I haven’t built a new one in a long time,” Tony told him. “What about you?”
“I was going to spend the day doing some science experiments.”
“Cool,” Tony said and then, “Do you want bacon?”
“Yes, that would be nice,” Bruce answered with a smile.
“So, here’s a thought,” Tony said and scooped some eggs onto Bruce’s plate. “How about we spend the morning working on your science experiment together and then spend the afternoon working on my robots. We could be each other’s assistants.”
“Hmmmm,” Bruce said. “How come we can’t work on your robots in the morning and my science experiment in the afternoon?”
“No reason,” Tony said, but he looked away as he said it, so Bruce knew he was lying.
“Ha!” Bruce cried. “I know! Because if we work on your robots in the afternoon, then if we aren’t finished, we can just keep working on them all through the night. You just want to spend more time working on your robots than you do my science experiment.”
“Robots are cooler,” Tony said with a shrug. “Besides, it could be kind of cool if we worked all through the night. We could listen to music and put a movie on while we worked. It’d be like our own little slumber party!”
“Hmmm,” Bruce said, because he still wasn’t sure.
“And we could eat ice cream,” Tony told him. “You love ice cream.”
“Well…I do love ice cream,” Bruce admitted. “Okay, I’m in! Let’s have a science sleepover!”
They spent all morning working on Bruce’s experiment and all afternoon working on Tony’s robots and then agreed that for the night, they would both work on their own projects, but they’d do it in the big lab together, so they could eat ice cream and watch How To Train Your Dragon at the same time.
“Do you think any of the other Avengers want to help us and join our slumber party?” Bruce asked.
So Tony and Bruce went around and asked each of the Avengers if they wanted to come to the science sleepover.
“The Captain and I are going to the movies!” Thor told them, when they asked if he wanted to come to their science sleepover.
“Really?” Bruce asked. “You don’t seem like the kind of guy who likes movies.”
Steve - or Captain America - just shrugged and said, “Clint told us that we need to go to this zombie film festival. You know, so we would know about zombies in case they ever attacked. But thank you anyway.”
“I am excited for zombies!” Thor told them.
“Okay,” Bruce said with a shake of his head, because Thor and Captain America going to see a zombie movie together was just a funny thought to him.
“I am going to yoga class,” Clint - or Hawkeye - told them when they asked if he wanted to come to their science sleepover.
“Yoga class?” Tony asked. “Like stretching and exercising?”
“Yes,” Clint said with an eye-roll. “Do you see some of the ceilings I have to hang from to get a good shot with my arrow? I have to be limber!”
“Okay,” Bruce said, because Clint was right - he did need to be limber to do his job as Hawkeye.
“I’m going out,” Natasha - or Black Widow - told them when they asked if she wanted to come to their science sleepover.
“Out where?” Tony asked her.
“Just out,” she said and grabbed her coat, heading out the front door.
“Okay,” Bruce said, because Natasha never told them where she was going.
“ I guess it’s just you and me, friend,” Bruce told Tony.
“I’ll go put on my pajamas!” Tony said and rushed off to do just that.
“You aren’t working on your experiment,” Tony said, leaning over Bruce’s back to look at the chemistry set Bruce was working with.
“Huh,” Bruce answered. “I guess I got distracted watching the movie. I want to know what Hiccup’s dad will do when he finds out about Toothless.”
Tony snorted. “He probably won’t do anything good, that’s for sure. Uh, hey, Bruce, your ice cream is melting.”
“I’m watching the movie!” Bruce shouted, because Tony kept interrupting him while he was paying attention.
Just then the movie screen flickered and a message appeared on it. ‘Incoming message from Director Nick Fury!’ - it read. Then, just as suddenly, Nick Fury’s face came on the screen, where Hiccup had been a minute ago.
“Fury,” Tony said.
“Hello, Director,” Bruce said.
“Avengers!” Nick Fury shouted.
“Yeah?” Tony asked. “What?”
Nick Fury looked around the room and then on the screen they saw him sit back in his chair with a sigh. “Where are the rest of The Avengers?” he asked.
“Oh,” Bruce said. “Well, they went out.”
“I keep calling them on their communicators, but they aren’t answering,” Nick Fury told them.
“Yeah,” Tony answered, “Captain Goodie-Two-Shoes and the God of Thunderdome went to the movies. And the Hawk-man went to yoga class. No one knows where Natasha went because she scares us and we didn’t want to ask her twice.”
“I believe they are all at places that make you turn off your phone,” Bruce helpfully supplied. “Like how at the movies, they always tell you to make sure your phone is on silent.”
“Just great!” Nick Fury shouted, though he didn’t really sound like it was great at all. “An army of robots is attacking New York City and I need The Avengers!”
“Well,” Tony said with a shrug, “we are two of the Avengers, if that helps.”
“Is that what you’re going to wear to save the city?” Nick Fury asked and raised one eyebrow - the one over his eye-patch - at Tony.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Tony asked and then looked down in surprise, like he had just remembered he was wearing pajamas that were covered in tiny little cartoon drawings of The Hulk.
“I like your pajamas,” Bruce said and grinned at him.
“You would,” Tony grumbled.
“Okay then,” Nick Fury said with a sigh. “Time to suit up and Hulk out! The city is under attack!”
Bruce swore he would never tell the other Avengers that Tony did, in fact, wear his Hulk pajamas to save the city.
Tony flew into the center of the city in his Iron Man suit and Bruce borrowed Steve’s motorcycle - without asking, which he didn’t usually do, but this was an emergency - and followed after Tony as fast as he could go.
“I think I know this part of town,” Bruce said into the communicator in his motorcycle helmet. “Where are we?”
“We are just around the corner from your favorite pretzel place,” Tony said. “You know, that guy and his food cart on the street, selling those big soft pretzels that you make me eat every time we go for lunch together.”
“Stop talking abut pretzels,” Bruce whined. “You’re making me hungry.”
“You know pretzels are not lunch, right?’ Tony asked his friend. “A sandwich is lunch. Grilled salmon is lunch. Pasta primavera is lunch. A pretzel is not lunch.”
“It is when they are as big as the Hulk’s hands,” Bruce told him and then, “Wait, I think I see the robots!”
Down the street, marching five by five, side by side, were a mass of blue and silver and yellow robots, stomping their way down the middle of the street, sending cars driving off in every direction to get away from them and people running and screaming into buildings. One small dog was the only thing brave enough to stand up to the robots, barking and nipping at their legs as they marched.
“Alright, buddy,” Tony said. “It’s time to Hulk out now.”
“Got it!” Bruce answered him.
But nothing happened. He didn’t turn into the Hulk.
“Come on, Bruce,” Tony cried, as the robots got closer and closer.
“I’m trying!” Bruce shouted.
“Try harder! Get angry!”
“I’m trying!” Bruce shouted again.
Just then, the robots turned and started heading for the buildings, their metal arms extending into long club-like weapons. They began to break the windows of the buildings, smashing them one by one. Inside, the people who were hiding started to scream.
“They are going to hurt people,” Tony said. “Doesn’t that make you angry?”
Bruce sighed “It’s just…this happens all the time. Someone always attacks the city and we always have to save it and then we always go for ice cream or something afterwards. I guess I can’t get angry when I know everything will be fine, in the end.”
“Well, it won’t be fine if you don’t help me,” Tony told him and flew straight at the robots, who were now smashing all the cars on the street, the little white dog barking nonstop at them while they did so.
There, in one of the cars, was a woman trapped, holding a baby to her chest and crying.
“They are going to hurt that baby!” Tony hollered. “Doesn’t that get you mad?” and he shot his lasers at a whole group of silver robots who were knocking over the fire hydrants and sending water spraying out into the streets.
“I guess it makes me a little mad,” Bruce said and ran over to the car, popping open the door and helping the woman out, her baby still crying in her arms. “Get inside, quick!” Bruce told her and the woman ran off, waving at Bruce in thanks as she went.
Tony swung around in the sky and came rushing back towards another group of robots who were stomping up and down on the street, trying to crack the pavement. He came crashing into the robots like a set of bowling pins, sending them flying everywhere.
“I’m kind of doing all the work here,” Tony told Bruce and shot a laser at a big silver robot who was knocking its shoulder into a building, trying to topple it over onto the people inside.
“I’m trying to get angry,” Bruce told him calmly.
“Yeah? Well, I’ll make you angry,” Tony said and punched a robot in the face, knocking his robot-head clean off. “I hate your cooking.”
“That’s a lie,” Bruce told him. “I am a stellar cook.”
Tony sent a shockwave out onto the street then, knocking over ten robots at once, along with the little white dog and Bruce in the process, before saying, “I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet.”
“Ewwww,” Bruce said and stood back up off the ground, crouching behind a large SUV to hide from the robots while he was still stuck in human form.
“I farted in your bed.” Tony told him and ripped a streetlight from the ground, using it to bash several robots at once.
“Tony, that’s gross,” Bruce told him and ducked as Tony sent five blue robots flying over his head until they hit the building behind him and fell to the ground, broken.
“I saw an ant in your cereal and didn’t tell you,” Tony said and went running at some robots who were now hiding behind a fire-truck, trying not to be seen.
“Why would you do that?” Bruce asked him. “That’s just mean.”
“Could you please just get angry?” Tony asked.
“I don’t know…” Bruce started to say, but just then a large yellow robot came around the corner and went straight for the little white dog, kicking it hard and sending the dog flying across the street.
“Hey!” Bruce shouted at the robot. “That’s not nice!”
“Yes!” Tony cried. “That’s it! Get angry!”
Bruce ran over to the dog and picked it up off the ground. The dog lifted its head and licked Bruce right on the nose.
“There’s a good boy,” Bruce said, just as a young girl came running out from behind a garbage bin.
“My puppy!” she said and Bruce gently laid the dog in her arms.
“He’s alright,” Bruce told her, “but you better get inside quick and hide under a table for safety.”
“Thanks, mister,” the girl said and went running inside as fast as she could, clutching her dog in her arms.
“I can’t believe that robot kicked a dog and you didn’t even get mad,” Tony told him.
“I got a little mad,” Bruce said and held up his arm, which had turned a startling green color. “Just not all the way mad, because the dog was okay.”
“Ugh!” Tony shouted and knocked over the very last robot standing on the street. “Well, I guess that’s all of them,” he said, clearly upset with Bruce.
“Sorry,” Bruce said and then, “Wait…what happened to the big yellow robot that kicked the dog?”
“I don’t know,” Tony told him and they both looked around.
“There it is!” Bruce shouted and pointed down a side street were the yellow robot was headed right at a man standing on the sidewalk with a food cart.
A pretzel food cart.
“He’s headed straight for my favorite pretzel place!” Bruce shouted.
“Oh no,” Tony said, but he didn’t sound that upset about it, to be honest.
“He’s going to smash all the pretzels!” Bruce cried and then suddenly, his arms began to get bigger and all of his skin turned to green and then he was growing, growing, growing super huge and strong and then…
He was The Hulk!
“Pretzels!” The Hulk bellowed in his loud, rattling voice and then he was off, running down the side street.
“Ack!” the pretzel man shouted and dashed behind a car to hide.
“Arrrrrrggghhh!” The Hulk cried and smashed straight into the yellow robot, knocking it right over and smashing all its electrical parts with one hit.
Tony came flying in and hovered right next to The Hulk’s head.
“Really? Now you turn into the Hulk, after I did all the work? That’s great, man. Thanks a lot!” and he sounded really upset with Bruce.
“Pretzel!” The Hulk shouted.
“Oh, okay,” the pretzel man said and came out from the car he was hiding behind.
He pulled a hot fresh pretzel from his food cart and handed it, very slowly, up to the Hulk. The pretzel was not quite as big as the Hulk’s hand, but almost, and the Hulk took a big giant bite and said around a mouthful of pretzel, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” the man said, still a little afraid of the Hulk though. “Would you like one as well, Mr. Iron Man, sir?” he asked and Tony just shrugged.
“Sure, why not?”
They stood there and ate their giant pretzels and slowly the Hulk turned back into Bruce Banner again, the more of the delicious pretzel he ate, the happier he got, until finally it was just Bruce standing there in the street with one last bite of pretzel left.
“Well, that was fun,” he said.
“I did all the work,” Tony told him and crossed his arms on his chest.
“Most of it,” Bruce said. “I seem to have saved our favorite pretzel cart though, so it all worked out fine. Do you want to go back to work on your robots in the lab some more?”
“No,” Tony said, “I think I have had just about enough of robots for one day. Let’s just go home and watch the rest of our movie.”
“Sounds good,” Bruce told him with a smile. “Hey, let’s stop and get some more ice cream. And maybe some sandwiches. And maybe some french fries too.”
“Ugh, how can you eat so much food?” Tony asked him.
“It’s not me. It’s The Hulk. He has a big stomach,” and Bruce patted his own stomach with one hand.
“Fine,” Tony told him. “Let’s go get more food for our science sleepover and then head on home.”
Just then, Nick Fury’s voice broke through on their communicators. “Avengers!” he cried. “There is a giant dinosaur attacking Central Park!”
“Does that make you angry at all?” Tony asked Bruce. “A dinosaur and it’s going to hurt people.”
“No,” Bruce told him. “I think dinosaurs are cool.”
“Ugh,” Tony said and threw his hands up in the air. “You know what? Never-mind. I got this one,” and he flew off into the sky, leaving Bruce to stand there and wonder what kind of dinosaur it was and how much ice cream they should pick up at the store.