It started with my family returning from vacation and my mom wanting me to go to dinner with everyone and I was like, "I just spent 3 weeks in the car with you people, I don't need to go to dinner with you too." I went in my room and there were suddenly these bats - (but they also looked kind of like owls, idek) - outside my window, pecking against the glass. I was freaked, cuz bats freak me, but I thought, "They can't get in, it's okay." But then they chewed through the screen, bursting through the glass. I screamed and ran out. When my dad went to check, the room was completely full of bats. They weren't scared of people, so they would perch right on you and you had to hold really still, because if they got startled, they'd bite and you'd get rabies and die.
So my mom took me and my little brother - (who is always like 10 in my dreams) - shopping. It was so nice to be away from the infestation of bats. We heard on the radio that it was happening everywhere - that these bizarre owl-bats were an epidemic. While out shopping, we ran into K. He was buying a bunch of Harry Potter action figures for his kids. He had a really cool Percy figure and I was excited to see Percy getting some play. Then he told me how JK Rowling had just come out saying that all of the books were supposedly 'written' by Harry and I told K, "That's bullshit. JK just keeps making up shit after the fact." Then Mom said we had to go home and I started begging her to get a motel room or something. She said, "Well, you can go home with K." I started whining, "I don't want to go home with K. Don't let him hear you say that." But Mom was all, "You can go home with K or go home to the bats. Those are your choices." (Just like my mom to use the 'those are your choices' line!)
It turned out that scientists had developed a way to stop the bats from wanting to bite, by injecting them with some sort of serum that also seemed to turn them all these bright colors. (idek, but they were pretty cool looking). I said, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. They have to inject each bat individually! Why didn't they just invent something to inject into us to repel the bats?" Anyways, when I got home, I realized I hadn't caught up on TV from being on vacation. (for some reason, the TV was outside on a grassy hill and my dad was there, wearing his old work uniform). When I turned the TV on, Teen Wolf was playing. I realized I had missed some episodes because Allison was now alive! But she was like part mermaid or something and had to live like 90% under the water, but she still looked the same and was still wearing her kickass wardrobe. (yep, idek). Also Derek was having sex dreams about Peter where he was dry humping Peter's leg like a dog.
Allison goes, "Derek, my new empathy skills I got when I returned from the dead tell me that something is going on with you. Hurry and tell me so I can get back in the water." So Derek used all his manpain and angst to sorrowfully tell her how he kept feeling like he could trust Peter and he kept hero-worshipping Peter, but also he kept being attracted to him. Allison said, "Well, clearly Peter has put a spell on you to revert your emotions back to when you were a teenager and trusted and worshipped him. Something must have gone wrong with the spell and now there are sexual undercurrents to it." Then in the next scene, Peter approached Derek after a big werewolf fight - (Derek here looked more like Tyler did in the last season of 7th Heaven) - and was all, "God job, Derek. Way to fight!", trying to manipulate him into doing whatever he wanted. But Derek was being all shy and flirty and kept stepping closer to Peter, and the chemistry was so fucking hot, and I could literally see on Peter's face the moment he realized what had happened with the spell and the moment he realized how he could use that to his advantage.
So he started seducing Derek. And then they kissed. And then they had graphic naked-butt sex. (my sister's been watching a lot of Queer As Folk - thanks, Sis.) I then rewound - (yes, still dreaming here) - and watched it again. Like six times. I realized my dad was still there and I was all, "Sorry, Dad. I'm just really excited about this part." Then I yelled for my brother and was like, "Check it out! Derek is having sex with Crazy Uncle Peter!" And my brother - (yes, still 10 years old) - goes, "Holy shit!" And my dad goes, "Wait...that guy is his uncle." I said, "I know! They won't let Derek/Stiles go canon because Stiles is underage, but apparently incest is okay! I can't wait to see Tumblr freak out about this!"
I rewound one more time. And then I woke up.
Yep. IDEK. The next night I had a dream that entailed myself, some kids I went to junior high with, the Leverage crew, the Friends, a smattering of X-Men, an evil military and some candy bars.