Halloween was awesome! I terrified all the children! We were steampunk vampires this year. I took my old pseudo-Cabbage Patch Doll and sat in front of the big windows. When kids were coming down the sidewalk, I’d bury my face in the doll’s neck and wait until they got almost up to the front steps and then lift my head. My mouth was caked in blood and I would snarl at them and throw myself against the window. It was hilarious! Several of them backed right up. Quite a few asked if I was real. One kid gave me a double thumbs up. A lot of the parents waved at me in appreciation, but like I’m going to break character and wave back. I only broke character, waved and smiled - though I was told my smile was also terrifying - for the really little kids who were too scared. It was so much fun and both Sis and The BFF looked great in their outfits and lizibabes made us some steampunk jewelry and The BFF had this amazing Victorian era ballgown that was like blood red, while Sis had this great platinum white wig. Also, despite the weather being 40 degrees and rain/snowing, we got about 100 kids, which was great.


The last few years I’ve invited my friend C and her daughter over to see how we celebrate and since it was on a Friday this year, they took us up on it. We ordered a bunch of chicken wings and garlic bread - even though I hear garlic is bad for vampires - and just hung out. The PT clinics were all doing that clinic wide competition and C’s clinic dressed as Toy Story characters. She was Bo Peep and it was a super adorable costume, but she kept coming up to the front windows to see the kids’ reactions to me and so while I was terrifying them and eating my baby, there was like a really happy Bo Peep standing behind me! My PT clinic did the carnivale theme I recommended to them, though it turned out more ‘carnival’ than ‘carnivale’. They really went all out with the decorations though and even had one of those ‘strong men’ standees where you put your face in the cutout and get your picture taken. The only bad thing was that their arch nemesis clinic got wind of their theme and stole the idea! I am pissed. I haven’t seen the pictures but I can’t imagine they did better than us, since they didn’t have a 17 page how-to-booklet made by me to help them along. Rumor has it they are going to be disqualified from the competition for stealing ideas, the rat bastards.

This year, even K got in on the action. He was the Ringmaster at my clinic and he looked really good. He said he followed the instructions in my booklet to the letter. I wore my costume to therapy that day, bloody face and all, and everyone was highly amused and appreciative of my art. K’s 14 year old was there and when I went to leave, I hollered at them across the clinic, “If you aren’t doing anything tonight, come over and watch me eat babies.” K just shook his head and told me to leave and I was all, “You shake your head like you haven’t known me for 23 years, man.” But they did stop over for a bit. Kid was getting a kick out of all the trick-or-treaters’ reactions to me. K was mostly excited that we were watching Psych. He’s a not a big TV person, but he loves him some Psych. He asked me though if I just sit in the window for three hours and pretend to eat a baby doll - like what does he not understand about performance art?!

It was definitely one of the best Halloweens we’ve had since we moved into this house. I can’t believe we have to wait a whole year for next Halloween! How were all of your weekends?