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09 December 2014 @ 08:51 pm
Yes, Seriously.  
So, my mother broke her hip. Yep. It was just a hairline fracture, so no surgery, but also because it is a hip, they can't splint it or anything. Which, knowing my mom's inability to not do All The Things, she is a high risk of breaking it further. We are trying to keep her off her feet, but you know parents - you can't tell them anything! Apparently she had a cramp in her left leg and so stood up on her right leg to shake out the cramp, lost her balance, fell over and twisted the right leg on her way down, snapping the hipbone. Why an elderly woman with brittle bones and severe arthritis would ever stand on one leg is beyond me, but whatever. She also wasn't wearing the MedAlert button that Sis pays for her to have, because 'she doesn't like to wear it' and so she had to crawl to the phone to call for help.


She is home now and my two aunts are taking turns staying with her after my sister spent most of the weekend there. I am pretty pissed at the doctors that she isn't in a rehab ward or something. She can barely make it to the bathroom, let alone get food or water or pretty much anything she needs. She is able to transfer to a bedside commode, but that's about all she can do by herself and she couldn't even do that when they sent her home on Friday. We tried to talk her into staying at our very nice handicap accessible house, where I will be everyday to fetch her things. She looked like she was going to cry. "I want to be at my own home. I want to have my own things." We had even said her dog could come with her, but no, she wanted my sister to just move in with her for the week. Um, I live with my sister for a reason - because I need someone to help me out. I mean, I can stay home alone for a weekend, if we get everything set up ahead of time, but not a whole week and my sister can't do that while she is trying to also work every day. IDEK. I get frustrated with whiny sick people who get all entitled. It sucks to break a bone like that, it really does. But shit happens and you just gotta suck it up. I finally yelled at her that she couldn't have everything she wanted, that I hadn't wanted to spend 6 weeks in the hospital when I broke both my femurs, that I wanted to be home with my things and my bed and my cats, but you gotta suck it up and do what is best for your recovery.

But then my aunts offered to help, so other than running a few errands for her and walking the dog, Sis is pretty much in the clear.. Little Brother and I both got on Mom that she cannot ask Sister to commute to work everyday, work a demanding job all day, come home and take care of me and then go to Mom's house and take care of her. Mom seemed to think that we were silly for suggesting that was too much for a person to handle.

/sigh/ I feel like such a mean person for not being more sympathetic that my elderly mother has broken her hip and is basically confined to her own bed, but I can't help feeling like she makes things more difficult than they have to be. She is loving the attention and drama though, wanting to know if every little person is asking after her. Yeah, this whole post makes me feel like a bad person. I recognize that this time of year makes me even shorter with my parents for some reason, but it just always feels like one thing after another with the two of them.

Mom is improving steadily though so that is a plus! And I'll take that plus!
 
 
 
Shireboundshirebound on December 10th, 2014 02:21 am (UTC)
My gosh, what a tough and challenging year for you and your family.

*very gentle hugs for mom*
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 08:18 pm (UTC)
My gosh, what a tough and challenging year for you and your family.

It has been! Idk what is going on, but this year has been a lot of bad. I'll be glad when 2015 is here.

Thank you for the suppot, darling.
Caera1996caera1996 on December 10th, 2014 02:28 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear that your mom broke her hip! It's so scary when an elderly person hurts themselves like that, even when it's just a fracture and not a full break. That happened to my cousin's grandmother and she, sadly, didn't recover - to everyone's surprise. I'm so happy to hear that your mom is recovering well so far, and I'm sure being home is part of that. It may be a little more inconvenient, but a huge part of recovery is attitude, and rehab centers just suck the life and vitality right out of you - especially older people. Maybe she would be eligible for an at-home health aide a few hours a day for extra help?

dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 08:23 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear that your mom broke her hip!

It is a terrible thing to break - we don't even realize how much we use our hips without knowing it.

It may be a little more inconvenient, but a huge part of recovery is attitude, and rehab centers just suck the life and vitality right out of you - especially older people.

I know that's true, but the doctors sent her home without a plan in place. No social work help or anything. I'm not okay with that. Attitude is a huge part of recovery though, that is true. While I still think being at home is the wrong move for my mom, giving her living conditions, I do think having my aunts there all the time and giving her that company is helping her mood a lot. And that's certainly a plus with my mom!
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on December 10th, 2014 03:16 am (UTC)
I don't feel like you're being unreasonable, and I'm really glad tha aunts can help out. *hugs*
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 08:25 pm (UTC)
I don't feel like you're being unreasonable, and I'm really glad tha aunts can help out. *hugs*

Thank you, babe! I just feel *angry* at her about this and that seems unreasonable. I'm not angry she broke her hip, I'm angry she expects everyone to drop everything and do for her. But when I was typing it out, it felt like I was mad at her for breaking her hip and I felt bad about that. I just get so overprotective of my sister when people come to her with their hands out like that. Everyone back away from my sister!
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on December 13th, 2014 10:54 pm (UTC)
I'm sure it just felt like she was being selfish; she probably didn't get what the fuss was about. *shakes head* Parents!
lindahoylandlindahoyland on December 10th, 2014 04:30 am (UTC)
So sorry about your Mum. Hope she takes things easy and heals soon. Elderly parents can be a big headache especially when you have problems of your own.I loved my Mum enough to bear anything, but my father almost drove me nuts.
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 08:32 pm (UTC)
So sorry about your Mum. Hope she takes things easy and heals soon. Elderly parents can be a big headache especially when you have problems of your own.I loved my Mum enough to bear anything, but my father almost drove me nuts.

Thank you, darling! She is doing better. The doctor said she can start being home alone for an hour or two a day. Both of my parents being sick and elderly (and not living together, which doubles the errand runs) already puts a strain on my siblings, so when there is an added thing like a broken hip, I get into super protective mode, trying to make sure my siblings have time to do their own things and take care of themselves. Like my brother said to my mom, it won't do her any good if Sis and Brother burn themselves out and end up not being able to take care of anyone.
sarahk_1963sarahk_1963 on December 10th, 2014 08:02 am (UTC)
aww honey,

family - yes Mother's can turn any situation on it's head and make you feel guilty for suggesting very normal, usually positive things to help her to heal.

parent's have a special gift for that and it's called "behaving like a spoilt brat" at a ridiculously old age ;-)

Glad to hear that she is improving steadily, I hope your stress level is improving steadily too.

take care,
Sarah

dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 08:37 pm (UTC)
family - yes Mother's can turn any situation on it's head and make you feel guilty for suggesting very normal, usually positive things to help her to heal.

Yeah, how do they do that?! It's like she wants *everything* and then she gets mad when we express that giving her everything is an unreasonable request and then we feel like, "Oh well, maybe we can give her everything, if that's what she wants." Omg.

Glad to hear that she is improving steadily, I hope your stress level is improving steadily too.

She is improving and my stress levels are also improving. Thank you! Now I just have the usual Holiday blahblahblah stress, lol.
Denidenig37 on December 10th, 2014 07:44 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, I know that "attention seeking sick person" type, have them in my own family too.

You're not a bad person.

She is loving the attention and drama though, wanting to know if every little person is asking after her.
So...how's K? :-D
You know, in my mind K is this big Adonis-like guy with a huge smile :-D
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 08:42 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, I know that "attention seeking sick person" type, have them in my own family too.

My mom loves the drama. She wants everyone to make a big a fuss.

You're not a bad person.

Thank you, darling. I just feel like I get so short with my parents about things that most people would be sympathetic about. But it's been like the 6th drama she's had this year!

---She is loving the attention and drama though, wanting to know if every little person is asking after her.---
So...how's K? :-D
You know, in my mind K is this big Adonis-like guy with a huge smile :-D


It's weird that you ask about K in this sentence because he is one of the people she wanted to know 'does he know about what happened with her' kind of thing. And I was like, "IDK, Mom. I texted with him this weekend but I think we had other things to talk about." Like she isn't the center of all my conversations and she was so pissed about that. lol

BTW, you are pretty off on the K image. ;)
Denidenig37 on December 13th, 2014 09:52 pm (UTC)
Pfft, he's totally Adonis! Even if he looked like a gnome in RL I would still want an autograph and a picture with him! :-D
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 14th, 2014 02:58 am (UTC)
You are so weird! ;)

Think Chris Meloni (Law & Order SVU) meets Clark Gregg (Agents of Shield). If that helps.

He would be so creeped out to have a fangirl though! He must never know!
Denidenig37 on December 14th, 2014 11:59 am (UTC)
You are so weird! ;)
Always and proud of it :-D

Whooooo, that's a hot combo ;-)

Lol, I shall remain a lurker then :-D
Kate: Hiding Catceitfianna on December 10th, 2014 07:52 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Ugh, this sounds awful and nothing you're saying doesn't make sense. You're trying to help and your mom wants things her way. I'm glad that you and your sister aren't dealing with everything for her.
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 08:45 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Ugh, this sounds awful and nothing you're saying doesn't make sense. You're trying to help and your mom wants things her way. I'm glad that you and your sister aren't dealing with everything for her.

Thank you, darling! She just expects everyone to bend over backwards because she has had a crisis, but she has a crisis ever other month, I swear. I get so overprotective of my sister, when everyone expects so much from her and never stop to think about what she needs for herself. But Mom is slowly getting better and I'm keeping J from overextending herself too much, so that's a good thing.
(Deleted comment)
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 08:46 pm (UTC)
/hugs back/ Thank you, darling. Things are starting to get better here, Mom is doing a little bit more each day.

How are you? Not still sick, I hope!
(Deleted comment)
Jo Ann: Rolling Eyes Taylor GIFyeuxdebleu on December 11th, 2014 03:42 am (UTC)
It's very hard to reason with some elderly people. Fortunately, my mother was never like that. She gave up driving on her own when she felt she should no longer be driving. She didn't need any prodding from the family. She moved into a senior residence on her own when she felt she could no longer properly look after herself. She even had a pre-paid funeral so none of the family would have to deal with arranging a funeral for her. But she was an exception to the rule. Most elderly people are very stubborn when change is involved.

How on earth did you break both your femurs? Is that why you are disabled now or have you always been disabled? Are you able to walk or are you in a wheelchair?
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 09:10 pm (UTC)
It's very hard to reason with some elderly people. Fortunately, my mother was never like that.

You got lucky! None of my grandparents or my parents took their age graciously. But this means we have learned from them and are going to do whatever we can not to be a burden on our family when we get old!

How on earth did you break both your femurs?

The doctors had me on new meds and forgot to tell me that they make your bones brittle. I wasn't even doing anything overactive when I broke them. They just snapped. First one, then a few weeks later, the other. We got me off that medicine as quick as we could, let me tell you!
Jo Ann: Elijah Oh no expressionyeuxdebleu on December 20th, 2014 04:47 am (UTC)
I wasn't even doing anything overactive when I broke them. They just snapped.

Gosh, what kind of meds were you taking? Can you walk?
fragrantwoods: laura kara hug handsfragrantwoods on December 11th, 2014 03:44 pm (UTC)
Hugs to you and your mom--such a tough spot to be in! And how scary to see how easily stuff like that can happen. What a good reminder to, well, everyone, I guess, that when you neglect your own health needs, you can end up impacting more than yourself.

BRB, gonna go take my calcium supplements!
dodger_sister: screweddodger_sister on December 13th, 2014 09:00 pm (UTC)
Hugs to you and your mom--such a tough spot to be in! And how scary to see how easily stuff like that can happen. What a good reminder to, well, everyone, I guess, that when you neglect your own health needs, you can end up impacting more than yourself.

The hip is a terrible thing to break, it really is. Half of my mom's issues are genetic and uncontrollable and the other half is because she doesn't care for hersefl properly. I guess I get short about that because I work so hard to keep myself at functioning level, you know. But I think the woman who climbed a mountain for her 50th birthday probably doesn't have to worry for awhile. lol ;)

BRB, gonna go take my calcium supplements!

I know, I know, me too. They always upset my stomach but I need to start taking them again!