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07 April 2015 @ 10:02 pm
And Then We Called The Cops.  
Idek where to start, so let's go back to Mom's eye surgery she had two weeks ago. It went well and the lens implant seems to have taken. But with this type of eye surgery it can cause excessive dryness and with Mom's Sjogrens, she is at extra risk for this.


On Friday I got a text from her asking if she could come over and sit in my living room. I immediately said yes, since it sounded urgent. I was worried that my mentally unstable aunt had been calling and threatening her again, as she did a few months ago. When Mom arrives, she says she is in extra pain from the shot the doctor gave her and that she can't see at all out of the operated-eye and very little from the other eye. What she needs is just to not be alone. I can see that not only is she maniac, but she is clearly having a panic attack. It takes much cajoling for me to convince her to take a Xanax, which in the end does very little as she is quite worked up. It's hard enough to deal with that much pain, but then having nothing to distract her and also worry of the 'what if' variety and I really wished there was more I could do for her. Otoh, she was full of her normal passive-aggressive 'woe is me' self-pity routine and I had to stamp down my normal reactions, because I could see she was clearly in a bad place. She went home after four hours and later my sister tried to talk her into going to the ER, but Mom acted like we were both over-reacting about the whole thing, despite her earlier behavior. We spent all weekend waiting for her to say that she wanted to go to Urgent Care. She never did.

On Sunday night I felt quite ill again and it wasn't helped by the fact that I woke up at least 7 times that night from nightmares about my mother going blind and having to move in with us or her just being in the living room, all, 'I just need to hang out here.' Also mutant animals and I got eaten by a mutant killer whale in a swimming pool, but that's neither here nor there.

Instead what I actually woke to on Monday morning was someone trying to break into the house. I could hear them punching in the security key code and then it would beep that it was wrong and then they would do it again. Multiple times until the security system started screeching. It was like someone was attempting to figure out what our security code was and failing, thus making the system freak out. I didn't know what to do and no one answered when I yelled 'hello' and I was worried about trying to get to the phone, since someone might be in the house. I did have my IPad, so I texted my sister what was going on and she called 911. She said they were sending someone over immediately. In the meantime, my sister gets a message from my mom saying, "I'm on the front porch and I can't work your system!" So Sis texts me this and calls 911 back. I let Mom in - she had done the code correctly, the alarm was disarmed, so I don't know why she was just standing on the porch - and everything is fine. Except that Mom is completely maniac still and I am shaking all over and literally, I mean literally, about to shit my pants, and Mom is pissed as hell that we called the cops and all those nightmares I was having all night basically came true.

The whole thing, combined with still not feeling well, sent me into an anxiety cycle that I couldn't get out of and today I had to take a Xanax, despite how bad they are for my liver. And none of this includes all the thoughtless, insensitive things my mom has said to me during this maniac cycle either. I am literally sick again from all the stress and my sister's eye keep twitching and oh yeah...what my mom wanted when she tried to break in? Some of my pain pills. My mother literally broke into our house to steal drugs. IDEK you guys!
 
 
 
Kate: Hiding Catceitfianna on April 8th, 2015 04:50 am (UTC)
*hugs you* This all sounds awful and chaotic. I'm sorry. You are being generous with your mom and I hope she stops bugging you and you feel better.
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on April 15th, 2015 07:46 pm (UTC)
I still can't believe we called the cops on my mom for breaking into the house to steal drugs. If it had happened on a TV show, it would have been hilarious. Mom is still totally maniac, but at least has stopped coming over here all the time. I am feeling slighly better, mostly now it is just a long road to building up my stamina again. Man, this has been a sucky few weeks. But its 66 degrees outside and I'm sitting on the sun porch typing this, so that's somehting! <3s
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on April 8th, 2015 11:34 am (UTC)
I am so sorry. All of this just stinks.
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on April 15th, 2015 07:49 pm (UTC)
'Stinks' indeed. I can't blame Mom for being manic about possibly going blind - though the doctor keeps telling her she is healing nicely - because that shit is scary, but I have enough on my plate without her bringing all that mania down on me. Damn. Otoh, in retrospect, that fact that I was hiding under my blankets as if they were some sort of Harry Potter invisibility cloak to hide me from the robbers I thought were breaking in to my house, is quite hilarious.
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on April 15th, 2015 10:13 pm (UTC)
Only in retrospect, though - I'm certain there was no hilarity while it was happening!
Shireboundshirebound on April 8th, 2015 02:03 pm (UTC)
Wow. You're dealing with a lot, my friend. What a stressful experience.
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on April 15th, 2015 07:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks, <3s. The doctor really does think the craziness from my mom has backslid me right back into the flu again, but every time my mom asks me what the doctors think is wrong with me, I try to be nice and bite my tongue. At least she hasn't tried to break into the house again!
crucis01crucis01 on April 8th, 2015 05:49 pm (UTC)
Awww sweetie, hopefully things will ease off soon. I'm so sorry you've had such a rough time. Good thoughts coming at you!
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on April 15th, 2015 07:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Generally I can deal with my mother's mania or I can deal with being sick, but I can't deal with both! <3
lindahoylandlindahoyland on April 8th, 2015 08:40 pm (UTC)
Big hugs and purrs from the ginger boys.
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on April 15th, 2015 07:53 pm (UTC)
I will always take hugs and purrs from your sweet ginger boys! Thank you.
Jo Ann: Elijah Sleeping GIFyeuxdebleu on April 9th, 2015 03:54 am (UTC)
Gosh, that's quite an experience. It sounds like the plot for some TV drama show. I'm so sorry you had to deal with all of this. Is your mother's eye better now?
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on April 15th, 2015 07:57 pm (UTC)
Gosh, that's quite an experience. It sounds like the plot for some TV drama show.

IKR?! If it were a TV drama, I would have accidentally shot my own mother, thinking she was an intruder. If it was a sitcom...well, looking back on it, it does sound kind of hilarious. Like we called the cops on our own mother, who was trying to break into the house to steal drugs. But like there she is standing on the front porch, trying to figure out our technology based security system like a stereotypical old person on a sitcom and I am hiding under the covers like I think my blanket will protect me from robbers! OMG.

Mom's vision is a little better but the doctor says it is actually healing nicely, so hopefully the vision will come back as the healing goes along. She's still maniac as all get out through. /sigh/
Denidenig37 on April 9th, 2015 03:50 pm (UTC)
Okay, that's it, bundling you up it is, you get to pick - bubble wrap or lots of fluffy blankets...or both?

Family or not going unannounced into someone's house at NIGHT is just a huge nope and I would call the cops regardless of which family member it was. Seriously, who does that?! AND complains about it too! Gah!

Sorry to be rude but does your mother use her brain at all? She could have gone to the ER when you offered, got her own pain pills and be happily dosed up without causing everybody all this stress.

At least now you know that next time something like this happens to her not to ask her if she wants to go to the ER and just take her whether she wants or not (if somebody acts like a child, they should be handled like one), we did the same when sis was in huge pain and insisted it will go away, we called the ambulance anyway since talking to her made no difference.
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on April 15th, 2015 08:07 pm (UTC)
Okay, that's it, bundling you up it is, you get to pick - bubble wrap or lots of fluffy blankets...or both?

Both! And a pile of kittens, for extra protection!

Family or not going unannounced into someone's house at NIGHT is just a huge nope and I would call the cops regardless of which family member it was. Seriously, who does that?! AND complains about it too! Gah!

Well, it was during the day, but still. She said she called and left me a message on the answering machine and I was like, "But mom, I was still in bed. I didn't get that message." - "Well, I left the message, so that should be enough." She knows she's not allowed to let herself into the house! Yeah, she was pissed we called the cops, but what the hell should I have done? Waited to see who it was breaking into my house?! Damn, Mom.

Sorry to be rude but does your mother use her brain at all?

No. No, especially when she is manic. You can repeat something to her three times and it's like she never heard you at all. Because she literally didn't. She can't focus or think past the immediate moment at all when she is like that. And I would have more sympathy, but she refuses to get medicated, so sorry, but I will call the cops when you try to break into my house!

She could have gone to the ER when you offered, got her own pain pills and be happily dosed up without causing everybody all this stress.

Yep. You nailed it on the head, bb.

At least now you know that next time something like this happens to her not to ask her if she wants to go to the ER and just take her whether she wants or not

I can't do that. Like what are we suppose to do, force her into the car? As a person who has had medical things forced on me during the entirety of my childhood, I will never force someone to do a medical thing they don't want to. What we can do - and do do, heehee, do-do, - is to refuse to help her if she refuses to go to the doctor. We offered to take her to the ER or the Urgent Care. She refused. So then she can't expect us to wait on her hand and foot if she won't even go to the doctor. Unfortunately, this resulted in us not helping her and her taking matters into her own hands and BREAKING INTO OUR HOUSE!

Oh man, that woman is exhausting. No wonder I got sick again.
Denidenig37 on April 15th, 2015 10:12 pm (UTC)
Note to self: Kiddie Mom-proof the house! :-D
Trigger Warning: Lifematchboximpala on April 11th, 2015 07:12 am (UTC)
OMG, your mom! First, I am really sorry that she had to have surgery and I can completely understand her getting panicked and manic and not wanting to be alone. I'm glad you and your sister took care of her.

I just cannot understand, though, why she doesn't have the same empathy and compassion for you. So frustrating.

I wish you better days and better dreams, my dear.
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on April 15th, 2015 08:15 pm (UTC)
OMG, your mom! First, I am really sorry that she had to have surgery and I can completely understand her getting panicked and manic and not wanting to be alone. I'm glad you and your sister took care of her.

I am normally less sympathetic about her manic spells because she refuses to get medicated. However, in this case, I felt bad for her. Being in that much pain and fearing going blind is too much or anyone to handle, mania issues or not. Still, spending all day babysitting her while she was like that is NOT good for my health.

I just cannot understand, though, why she doesn't have the same empathy and compassion for you. So frustrating.

You know, I often wonder how much empathy she is actually vapable of feeling. Because even when she asks like, "How are you?" it's not really about how I am feeling. It is either a prelude to her wanting me to ask how she is or because she likes the drama - (if me or my sister so much as mentions being sick to her, the next thing we know we are getting a bunch of calls from people asking what is going on with us because Mom has been calling everyone making them think like we are dying or something).

She loves the drama or she wants to show of her 'medical knowledge superiority' or she is working an angle to turn it back around and make it all about her. This sounds so harsh, but you just asking about empathy suddenly has me thinking, Idek if she feels empathy. Not that she is a socio or something, but maybe it's her mania making her unable to focus on anything but herself. Like if I am talking abut something going on with me, she will just start talking, right in the middle of my sentence, about something completely unrelated going on in her life, as if I wasn't talking. Because to her, I wasn't. It's so weird.

I wish you better days and better dreams, my dear.

Thank you. She is still manic but bothering me less, staying home more thankfully, and I am slowly building my own stamina back up, so getting there, getting there, darling. <3s