On Friday I got a text from her asking if she could come over and sit in my living room. I immediately said yes, since it sounded urgent. I was worried that my mentally unstable aunt had been calling and threatening her again, as she did a few months ago. When Mom arrives, she says she is in extra pain from the shot the doctor gave her and that she can't see at all out of the operated-eye and very little from the other eye. What she needs is just to not be alone. I can see that not only is she maniac, but she is clearly having a panic attack. It takes much cajoling for me to convince her to take a Xanax, which in the end does very little as she is quite worked up. It's hard enough to deal with that much pain, but then having nothing to distract her and also worry of the 'what if' variety and I really wished there was more I could do for her. Otoh, she was full of her normal passive-aggressive 'woe is me' self-pity routine and I had to stamp down my normal reactions, because I could see she was clearly in a bad place. She went home after four hours and later my sister tried to talk her into going to the ER, but Mom acted like we were both over-reacting about the whole thing, despite her earlier behavior. We spent all weekend waiting for her to say that she wanted to go to Urgent Care. She never did.
On Sunday night I felt quite ill again and it wasn't helped by the fact that I woke up at least 7 times that night from nightmares about my mother going blind and having to move in with us or her just being in the living room, all, 'I just need to hang out here.' Also mutant animals and I got eaten by a mutant killer whale in a swimming pool, but that's neither here nor there.
Instead what I actually woke to on Monday morning was someone trying to break into the house. I could hear them punching in the security key code and then it would beep that it was wrong and then they would do it again. Multiple times until the security system started screeching. It was like someone was attempting to figure out what our security code was and failing, thus making the system freak out. I didn't know what to do and no one answered when I yelled 'hello' and I was worried about trying to get to the phone, since someone might be in the house. I did have my IPad, so I texted my sister what was going on and she called 911. She said they were sending someone over immediately. In the meantime, my sister gets a message from my mom saying, "I'm on the front porch and I can't work your system!" So Sis texts me this and calls 911 back. I let Mom in - she had done the code correctly, the alarm was disarmed, so I don't know why she was just standing on the porch - and everything is fine. Except that Mom is completely maniac still and I am shaking all over and literally, I mean literally, about to shit my pants, and Mom is pissed as hell that we called the cops and all those nightmares I was having all night basically came true.
The whole thing, combined with still not feeling well, sent me into an anxiety cycle that I couldn't get out of and today I had to take a Xanax, despite how bad they are for my liver. And none of this includes all the thoughtless, insensitive things my mom has said to me during this maniac cycle either. I am literally sick again from all the stress and my sister's eye keep twitching and oh yeah...what my mom wanted when she tried to break in? Some of my pain pills. My mother literally broke into our house to steal drugs. IDEK you guys!