July 19th, 2012

wtf

I Am Not A Morning Person.

Let me start this story by saying that everything turned out fine, in the end. It was just a bizarre morning.

Today started with me waking up to the whole house shaking and this horrible banging noise, as if the house was about to come apart. I woke up screaming, “Oh my god, what is it?” while my sister was just screaming my name. I couldn’t get her to answer me at first, she just kept screaming my name. My first thought was tornado and if repeating my name like that was her trying to get me to take cover, then I needed her to form more words than that. In the meantime, I had sat up damn quick and was slipping into my shoes. Then finally my sister says that she thinks it is an appliance and since it is coming from the front rooms, it must be the dishwasher. “I am going out to investigate,” she says. This, of course, terrified me because it sounded like whatever was making the whole house shake was about to explode. I could just picture her going out to the kitchen to inspect it just as it blew up and killed her on impact. Three of the cats had run in terror downstairs when the house started shaking and Big Buddy had come running back into my room and was cowering under his chair. So now my brain was picturing my sister all exploded on the floor and the house catching on fire and me unable to round up the cats or do anything but flee myself.

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But holy crap, did that wake us up right and good. I couldn't believe that thing could shake the whole house like that. I got a good cardio workout this morning, that’s for damn sure.