November 4th, 2014


I'm Inclined To Believe.

So, the other day Roo actually snuggled with me. Only for like 15 minutes, but he even let me put my arm around him. And the other night he was ‘killing’ a piece of plastic paper that I gave him - all the toys in the world and he wants to play with garbage - and howling over it like a hunter. Both of these are extraordinary for Roo and Idk if he has behavioral changes because he misses Buddy or because he no longer has to fight for my affection with his brother. Either way, it’s been nice that he’s been such a mama’s boy lately. Although for about the first 4 nights after Buddy passed, Roo refused to come to bed at all. On the second night, I tried 2 different times to coax him to bed with me and he wasn’t having it. I just buried my face in his belly and started crying and he was so worried about me, but he still wouldn’t come to bed. I went back to my room alone and like 3 minutes later, Pippin came and got in bed, walked all over me, gave me a big snuggle and slept with me all night. My sister said the other day, “I didn’t realize how much of our lives were dominated by taking care of Buddy, but now that he’s gone, everything feels empty and out of place.” That is how it feels, indeed.

In health news, that sneezing/cold/throat/cough thing I had is mostly cleared up. I still have some sinus issues and a few coughing fits here and there, but I feel much better. Sadly for my sister, who had the same thing, hers has taken a downturn and worked its way into viral bronchitis. She can barely speak and the doc said it’ll be about 10 days before she gets to feeling better. Eep. Also, one of my cousin-in-laws had a heart attack over the weekend. She is only 40. She is home now, but they haven’t fixed all the issues yet and she is being monitored extremely closely. She has two teenage boys at home, so Sis made food to take over there. And another cousin-in-law just revealed that she has breast cancer and they have to do a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy, because they believe it is being spread hormonally and they want to take out the body parts that cause excess hormones. She is also 40, I believe. There is nothing really to do for either of them, but wait and see.

So that’s what has been going on here amongst all the awesome Halloween fun we had this past week. Also, I saw my anxiety counselor today and she wants me to write about my emotions when I am having them. I don’t want to write about my emotions - I want to write about Dean and Cas and their emotions for each other! Damn.