January 10th, 2015

hope and love

5 Years. Today.

Today it has been 5 years since I touched an Oxycontin. /deep breath/

I never thought I would last this long. I never thought I would stay away from the temptation, but I also never thought that physically I wouldn’t end up needing something by now. Needing Oxy by now. I am stunned and joyed by this day.

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And here I am, 5 years later, making this post. Alive, functioning, living. As a kid I was told a lot of ‘be prepared things’ and one of them was that I probably wouldn’t live past 30. With the drugs, I almost made that a reality. But now I have lived past all of that and far beyond what the naysayers said I would and though there is so much more pain and regret to this story than I have shared here, there is also joy and love and support and triumph, and for today - for today, I am proud.