March 9th, 2018


Welp, Gotta Burn Down The House Now.

Aaahhh, I woke up from my afternoon nap and looked up and there was a spider on the ceiling!! And I hate spiders!

And like, how big must it have been that even *I* could see it?! But no, I gotta tell myself I had that eye surgery in December and now I can see hella better than I did before and so maybe it was just a teeny tiny spider and my eyes are just so good now that I could totally see it? But like I watched it and it moved and then I glanced away for a half second to grab my iPad and take a picture for Sis - that’s a reasonable thing to do when you see a spider right? Take photos for your roommate? - and like when I looked back it was gone. But then I saw it somewhere else on the ceiling, hey over there, is that it? Idk. I glanced down to turn on my iPad camera - I know, I know, stop glancing away! - and when I looked back it was gone. Where did it go? It was near my Lord of the Rings poster, is it on that now? It has so much dark coloring on it that I can’t tell! So then I lay there, playing on my iPad, and glancing at the ceiling, doing a hard target search every 30 seconds. Is this my life now? Scan Twitter, search the ceiling, scan Facebook, search the ceiling. Aaahhh. And what about at night, when it’s dark in here? Do I sleep with the light on now?! Maybe I can convince myself it wasn’t real? Like I’d just woke up from a nap, maybe I was still dreaming? Oh crap, I can’t convince myself of that, I’m not that good of a con artist. I’m gonna hafta sleep on the couch tonight, aren’t I? Dammit.

I hate spiders.

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