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31 August 2016 @ 11:27 pm
For Parting Is Not Goodbye.  
My grandmother passed away yesterday. It looks like she went in an instant, no suffering. And at home, like she always wanted. We tried, since Grandpa passed, to convince her to move to a senior apartment. She wouldn't hear of it. It always broke her heart that Grandpa didn't get to pass at home, and she wasn't going to stand for it herself. She almost always got her own way, after all. My grandma was one of those people that you always thought was perfect and then you grow up and realize, naw, she's just human. But even then, you couldn't help but look at her in some way like a person of iconic legend. She would have told you that she was a just a silly old woman, but she was so much more.

She lived through horrid poverty and family illness as a child, married my grandpa less than a week after graduating high school and turning 18. Chased his naval boat across the country, with my 3 month old uncle on her hip. Ran the little village general store all on her own. And oh, she pitched a fit when Grandpa said they were buying a farm. She wanted nothing to do with it. But then there she was, fixing breakfast at 3am so Grandpa and their boys could get to the farm chores. Adopting every stray cat she could get her hands on. She loved a good dog, but Grandma was a cat lady, thru and thru. She never wanted that farm, but oh boy, she wasn't leaving it. She and Grandpa were married for 70 years and she lived just as long as that down a dirt road, at the end of a dusty driveway, in an old farmhouse surrounded by corn and barns and the echoing sound of our childhood whiffle ball games still ringing on the wind.

The last of my grandparents to go, survived by three sons, ten grandkids and fourteen great-grandkids and that is her legacy, the one she is really proud of. Most people would have thought Grandpa was the glue that held this family together, but it was Grandma all along.

She always joked that when she finally got to heaven, that Grandpa would ask her, "What took you so long?!" But neither one of them have to wait another day.

Together now, they can rest in the peace they've so greatly earned.

Ava Marie - May 3, 1925 - August 30th, 2016


Photographer unknown, but Grandma loved her hummingbirds, so that's why I chose this one.
 
 
 
crucis01crucis01 on September 1st, 2016 03:41 am (UTC)
I am so sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful tribute! You could see the memories and feel you deep feelings for her,
Hugs for all of you.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I still miss Grandma very much. I know it gets easier with time, but she's been the only grandparent we've had, in sound mind, for the last five years - (Grandpa passed three years ago, but had dementia before that for a few years) - and I think that makes it all the harder. You're support is appreciated, friend!
Kate: taking wingceitfianna on September 1st, 2016 03:57 am (UTC)
*hugs* She sounds like an amazing lady.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:07 pm (UTC)
I didn't think you ever got the chance to meet Grandma and that is a shame, but she would have loved you. She would have made you tell her everything about New Zealand and then she would have told you about all of her world travels and it would have felt like gossiping with an old friend! <3
bugeyedmonsterbugeyedmonster on September 1st, 2016 04:10 am (UTC)
Sorry for your loss. She sounds like a great person.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Grandma was an amazing person and she most certainly made our world brighter. It's been rough without her, but I know that too shall pass.
Shirebound: heart red - Primula Bagginsshirebound on September 1st, 2016 04:42 am (UTC)
What an absolutely wonderful tribute to a remarkable, wonderful woman. Thank you for sharing your grandmother with us.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:18 pm (UTC)
What an absolutely wonderful tribute to a remarkable, wonderful woman. Thank you for sharing your grandmother with us.

Thank you so, so much. She would have been so embarrassed to think of me 'wasting space on my internet page' writing about her, but she absolutely loved to hear about all of you - all of my friends and writer friends and animal lover friends (you fit all of those bills!) and she always said, "Well, bless that girl from CA for ever coming here for a visit or we wouldn't have our *Liptonrm*." Grandma absolutely made Lipton a part of the family from day 1 and she loved to hear the story of how a 'girl from CA' made it all happen.
Shireboundshirebound on November 7th, 2016 09:59 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness! You really made my day.
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on September 1st, 2016 02:31 pm (UTC)
I might be crying just a little bit over here, for you.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:19 pm (UTC)
I might be crying just a little bit over here, for you

Awww, babe. For the record, Grandma loved you without even knowing you. My teacher friend from TN, oh goodness, what an interesting life I live to have such a group of friends, that one sounds like a hoot! <3
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on November 8th, 2016 02:18 am (UTC)
*all choked up*

Thank you for telling me that. I shall endeavor to always be a hoot, then.
redblack32redblack32 on September 1st, 2016 03:13 pm (UTC)

So sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman.

dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Grandma lived a life you seldom hear about outside of a book and how I wish i had written hers when I had the chance, but such a life seemed so daunting to cover. She was truly amazing.
Who'da thought, baby? We're civilians.dugindeep on September 1st, 2016 03:29 pm (UTC)
Oh hon, I'm so sorry. Sending you love and hugs <3333
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you, babe. Grandma loved to hear about my friends. When I mentioned going to Chicago to meet up with you and rhympephile for the first time, she said, "Now did you meet them on your internet site? The one for writers? Tell me all about them." And so I did. She thought it was so funny that we bonded over tv shows about zombies and politicians. <3 :)

Edited at 2016-11-07 09:40 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you, babe. You know, I met ceitfianna thorugh you, so when Grandma asked me how I met her, I said, "Well we follow the same writer and we got to talking to each other on her page and then exchanged info and now we are friends.' "Oh, you follow a writer on the internet? What does she write?" So I told her you write romances about gay men, that are just like the romance books she reads except about men. "Teehee," she said, "I never thought about that, but there must be people who want to read those too. Gay men? What, women too? Oh, heehee. Tell me all about her. How did she get started doing that?" And then listened attentively while I talked about you. That's was my Grabdma.
Trigger Warning: Lifematchboximpala on September 2nd, 2016 05:53 am (UTC)
So sorry for your loss, but I am glad to hear that she passed peacefully.

dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you, babe. Oh a hummingbird picture for Grandma, that made me sniffle and smile. <3.

I remember telling Grandma when there was that mountain lion near your jogging route near campus and she asked me a few times, "Now your friend hasn't encountered a mountain lion yet, has she? I hope all that jogging has made her fast, heehee.' Oh, Grandma. :)
lindahoylandlindahoyland on September 2nd, 2016 06:20 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss but glad your Grandma died where she wanted to be without suffering. Hugs.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:30 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss but glad your Grandma died where she wanted to be without suffering. Hugs.

Thank you. I miss her everyday but I do take great comfort that she went where she wanted, how she wanted, and that she is wth Grandpa now. I try to take comfort in my sister's faith that we'll see them both again someday.
(Deleted comment)
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:31 pm (UTC)
/hugs back/. Thank you. Grandma's passing still hurts, but I can remember the good times and smile as well.
ranuaranua on September 11th, 2016 12:57 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss ((hugs))
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you, babe. It still strikes me sometimes, the thought that Grandma isn't sitting at the kitchen table at the farm anymore, but I know it will get easier.
Jo Ann: Angel hug sadyeuxdebleu on September 17th, 2016 04:16 am (UTC)
What a lovely tribute to your grandmother. She sounds like a wonderful person who had a life she loved.

My maternal grandparents raised me so I know how special grandparents can be. They were married when gran was 18, too, and lived to be 95 (her) and 97 (him.) They died only three weeks apart. Gran simply felt there was no point in living without him.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:39 pm (UTC)
What a lovely tribute to your grandmother. She sounds like a wonderful person who had a life she loved.

She never held back in life, that is for sure. She worried too much about the people she loved, as is to be expected from someone like Grandma, but for herself she was never worried or scared, just courageous and daring and adventurous. That was my grandma.

My maternal grandparents raised me so I know how special grandparents can be. They were married when gran was 18, too, and lived to be 95 (her) and 97 (him.) They died only three weeks apart. Gran simply felt there was no point in living without him.

Oh, that she wanted to go be with your grandfather - I can imagine it was hard to lose them both so close together, but it is sweet, in a way, yes?

My home life was not ideal, growing up, but going to the farm to be with grandma and grandpa, that was our safe space. They were safe, loving, fun and even if our parents were there, we could escape to the barns, the fields, the corn. And after the divorce my little brother and I spent so much time there - it was all the warmth we were missing in our now empty house. It was our home more than our home and they were our protectors and nourishers and in that way, don;'t you think they live on - mine through us kids and yours through yourself? Thank you for sharing that bit of yourself with me. <3
Denidenig37 on September 19th, 2016 08:07 pm (UTC)
Sorry for your loss *hugs you tight*
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on November 7th, 2016 09:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you, babe. Grandma held on for as long as she could, I think, but now I know she rests peacefully with Grandpa. <3