So, they have a Neighborhood Mom. You know the type - always does crafts with everyone, invites you to go fun places, makes sure everyone has a sled. She had two boys close to TN’s age and he loved spending time over there. Better than being at home with his own stinky parents, right? (as all kids think). But she was always having a lot of sick days. TN is used to chronically ill people though - he has them on both sides of his family. But then this summer he was like, “She’s really sick, Dad. She doesn’t get out of bed now.” And then she was in the hospital. And then she died. And her two boys went to live with their dad. So he didn’t just lose Neighborhood Mom, but his two best friends as well.
Then less then two months later, he lost Gigi, his great-grandma - (my grandma). He was closer to her than most kids would be to a great-grandparent. He’d write her letters, especially after Papa died, because he knew she was sad and alone. He would take Uno when he went to visit and they would play together. And she would call to ask him how school was and he’d get so proud when she’d praise his grades and such. When she passed, he told his dad, “It’s so sad,” and his dad said, “It’s a big loss for you, buddy,” and TN said, “Yeah, but, I mean, that was Grandpa’s mom. His mom died. I feel so sad for Grandpa.” While Gigi was old, her death came suddenly, not with any hospital stay or warning.
Then last week, his teacher - in her 40s - didn’t show up for school on Friday. Without calling in. The school couldn’t get in touch with her, so eventually they sent someone to her home. She was dead in her house. No foul play - my brother said she’d just had shoulder reconstruction a few month ago for a military injury, but again, she was young and it was unexpected. While school was set to go on Monday, they weren’t having class, just a memorial and crisis counseling all day. That didn’t happen, because of a snow day, so I expect it happened today.
But Idek if TN went to school today, because last night his maternal grandfather passed away. He’d been sick for a while - had a few strokes years back and then a year ago was pronounced to have terminal cancer. Last year we didn’t think he’d make it to Christmas, but as my dad put it, ‘he dug his claws in on this one.’ Still, he’d been basically leveled out at the same place for so many months now, that it was a bit unexpected. He’d been under the weather for a week and finally yesterday one of his kids convinced him to go to the ER to get looked at. He died just few hours later. (I wonder if he thought, “Shit, I’m not getting out of the hospital this time,” and just let go). My sis-in-law was at work and planning to go up to the hospital after, thinking they might keep him, but not that he would be gone before she got there. While TN didn’t have the best relationship with his grandpa, he did live with him for a few years, so knew him pretty well and again, his upset will be for his mother and his grandmother to have that loss.
TN has refused to talk to his parents or me about Neighborhood Mom or his teacher, though he did open up about Gigi, cried his eyes out all morning the babysitter said, but I encouraged him to make use of the counselors at school this week. And ofc, my thoughts are with my sis-in-law and her mother.