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21 September 2017 @ 01:16 pm
Nearing The End.  
So it has been a long couple weeks here. Every time I start to make a post about it, Idk where to start. And the longer I wait, the longer the post gets.

About a month ago my mom hurt her back and was in screaming agony and we took her to the ER and they said there was nothing wrong, she just had a UTI, that's all and they sent her home with no pain meds, just some muscle relaxers. She stayed with us for three days because she couldn't even sit up on her own and then we took her to her doctor on Monday and he was like, "For the love of God, go to the hospital!" It took them a couple of days, but eventually they found a break in her sacral spine, which is basically the connector of your spine to your hips and your pelvis. She had been having lowkey back pain all summer and they also found some slightly healed hairline fractures, probably what had been bothering her all summer, but her regular doctor - who is a terrible doctor - just kept telling her it was arthritis and giving her steroid injections - which is actually the worst thing you can do for brittle bones - never sent her for an x-ray so eventually one of those hairline cracks turned into a full on break.


But they were right that she had a massive UTI because she eventually started peeing blood. She also had pneumonia from being laid up in bed with the broken back, so they eventually sent her to a live-in rehab center for her back. Then she started running fevers so they sent her back to the hospital where they did like one test, said there was nothing wrong with her, and sent her back to rehab. This went on for about 48 hours, the hospital booted her twice in one night when she was running a fever of almost 104. They kept trying to send her back to the rehab and the rehab kept sending her back to the hospital. Which, of course, all that bouncing around was terrible for her back.

So eventually we reached the point where she was in the rehab and she was sleeping nonstop for three days and they couldn't get her to eat or drink. Labwork showed she was infectious, so we sent her back to the hospital. This was on September 12 ,the day after her 69th birthday, and when she got to the hospital this time she was basically on death's door, so they finally took her seriously and did all of the tests until there was an answer, which is that she had an infection in her gallbladder. But by that time they'd let it go for so long without actually looking for the infection, that it was too late to remove her gallbladder, because she was too weak for surgery, so they put a drain in to drain some of the infection and that seemed to be working.

But the next day she had a sugar crash, down to 11, and she slipped into a coma for most of that day. She eventually came to, but the next day she coded and they resuscitated her, because she still had a standing order from her heart surgery that said she wanted all measures taken to save her life. Because of the amount of pain she was in, they put her into a medically induced coma for a couple of days. Then her white blood cell count got better and the pneumonia and uti started to clear up, and they took her out of the coma and she seem to know where she was, nodding and reaching for people. They took her off the vent too. She wasn't really interacting with people but she would ask for things like water.

The family had a meeting with the doctor who basically said because she never had a proper diet because of her other disorders, she never took care of making sure she got nutrients, that she was too sick to fight the infection and because for the last three weeks she didn't eat or drink, just slept, she was extra weak. We had already signed the basic DNR, but after that meeting we checked all the boxes, including not to put her back on the ventilator. At this point we just want to keep her comfortable.

Last night she was actually lucid and knew everybody, knew where she was and what going on and she said she was ready to die. This morning my sister said she was the most clearheaded she had been in weeks and again reiterated that she's ready to go. So they took her off of everything except for 2 liters of oxygen and a morphine drip to keep her comfortable.

Now we're just waiting, it's just a matter of hours, as soon as her lungs get too tired to work on their own, that'll be the end. Unfortunately because she is infectious and I am on auto immune suppressors, I haven't been able to see her since she went to the hospital. Both my brothers, my sister and my aunt are all up at the hospital with her though, so she won't be alone and scared at the end.

And I swear that's only a quarter of the story, so much has gone on in the last month, Mom has been through so much, and us in turn. I just don't want her to suffer. I'm going to lose my mom, but I just don't want her to suffer. Thank you in advance for all your support and kind thoughts.

This entry was originally posted at http://dodger-sister.dreamwidth.org/234840.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
 
 
 
Kate: Hiding Catceitfianna on September 21st, 2017 05:38 pm (UTC)
*hugs you* I'm sorry and here if I can do anything. I wish I was closer to give you real hugs and bake cookies and everything.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 4th, 2018 11:24 pm (UTC)
*hugs you* I'm sorry and here if I can do anything. I wish I was closer to give you real hugs and bake cookies and everything.

/hugs back/ We always wish you were closer, but that would have been so nice during Mom's last week. Thank you for always being such a good friend. <3
Why all the pearls?Why all the hair?Why anything?: XF I Want to Believerhymephile on September 21st, 2017 05:45 pm (UTC)
I know your mom's health hasn't been well for a long time now. I hope you are able to be strong and ask for emotional help if you need it from your family. They will do everything possible to keep her comfortable. I'm so sorry you're going through this without being able to be there.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 4th, 2018 11:27 pm (UTC)
I know your mom's health hasn't been well for a long time now. I hope you are able to be strong and ask for emotional help if you need it from your family. They will do everything possible to keep her comfortable. I'm so sorry you're going through this without being able to be there.

Thank you. Not being able to be there was the hardest part for me. Because I was having trouble reconciling the Mom I had just seen a few weeks before who was sick but still *Mom* with the one my sister was describing which was basically that Mom wasn't there at all. I did have Sis to take pics of Mom for me though, the day before the end, so I could see her on the ventilator and see how bad she was, try to wrap my head around it a bit.
crucis01crucis01 on September 21st, 2017 06:02 pm (UTC)
Ah sweetie, I am so sorry to hear all this. I hope she continues to improve and is able to return home to all of you. Please know you are in the thoughts and prayers of all of us. Please keep us informed. XOXOXO
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 4th, 2018 11:28 pm (UTC)
Ah sweetie, I am so sorry to hear all this. I hope she continues to improve and is able to return home to all of you. Please know you are in the thoughts and prayers of all of us. Please keep us informed. XOXOXO

Thank you for the kind thoughts. Though it didn't turn out that way, I am honestly just glad she didn't suffer for much longer after I made this post. And I am glad she isn't suffering any longer now. <3
Shirebound: heart red - Primula Bagginsshirebound on September 21st, 2017 06:07 pm (UTC)
I can't even imagine how difficult it was to write this post, but I'm grateful that you're allowing us to share this with you. I know every one of us will wrap you in as much love and support and quiet comfort we possibly can. What a hard, hard thing, to have to stay away from the hospital at such a time. My heart aches with you and your entire family.

So much love, dear one. So very much love.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 4th, 2018 11:29 pm (UTC)
I can't even imagine how difficult it was to write this post, but I'm grateful that you're allowing us to share this with you. I know every one of us will wrap you in as much love and support and quiet comfort we possibly can. What a hard, hard thing, to have to stay away from the hospital at such a time. My heart aches with you and your entire family. So much love, dear one. So very much love.

Thank you. Even now, this many months later, this comment from you makes me sniffle with love. <3
lindahoyland: Gingerboyslindahoyland on September 22nd, 2017 12:20 am (UTC)
Big hugs. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 4th, 2018 11:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you, darling, for all of your support during those trying times with my mother. <3
bugeyedmonsterbugeyedmonster on September 22nd, 2017 04:21 am (UTC)
Sending hugs. Sorry to hear about your mom, and... don't know what else to say.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 4th, 2018 11:31 pm (UTC)
Sending hugs. Sorry to hear about your mom, and... don't know what else to say.

That did just fine, thank you. <3 All of the love from my friends here, the outpouring I got from you all, was a great, great comfort.
Shireboundshirebound on September 22nd, 2017 11:35 am (UTC)
When you're up to reading them, there are supportive and loving messages for you and your sis on my LJ.

https://shirebound.livejournal.com/2516580.html

dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 4th, 2018 11:35 pm (UTC)
When you're up to reading them, there are supportive and loving messages for you and your sis on my LJ.

I wanted you to know we went to the link the same night you posted this comment. It, of course, made us both cry, but in a wonderful way. I felt so loved & supported by those messages and Sis was so warmed to see so many people remember her with fondness from her LJ days. Thank you so much for sending us the link. <3s
Jo Ann: Bel Ami: Rob: Angryyeuxdebleu on September 24th, 2017 12:48 am (UTC)
...her regular doctor - who is a terrible doctor...

I agree. He should have his medical license revoked.

Edited at 2017-09-24 12:49 am (UTC)
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 4th, 2018 11:38 pm (UTC)
I agree. He should have his medical license revoked.

Agreed. Mom's doctor never sent her for an xray, despite Mom complaining all summer about her back hurting her. A woman with already brittle bones, you'd think it'd be the first thing he did. Yes, she had arthritis, but that just makes her more susceptible to breaks - the fact he didn't know this or act on it was a disgrace.

The hospital was a disgrace as well and there was a serious conversation with my siblings about suing them, but in the end we weren't sure we'd win based on her complicated health history. And we knew it would come with a gag order - they pay but we can't talk - and we would rather talk & tell everyone we know what happened, so that they don't take their loved ones there, than to get any amount of money.
Jo Ann: Adam: Pensive resting head on armsyeuxdebleu on January 5th, 2018 12:28 am (UTC)
I see you've been busy replying to comments. :>)

I agree about deciding not to sue anyone because that would surely come with a gag order, as you said. Much better to leave negative reviews and also tell everyone you can about how awful the doctor and hospital were.
dodger_sister: comfortdodger_sister on January 5th, 2018 10:57 pm (UTC)
I see you've been busy replying to comments. :>)

Lol. Trying to get myself evened back out here & at my disability tumblr, so I can start fresh and start blogging more. My completionist personality will not let me just let all these comments go! 8)

I agree about deciding not to sue anyone because that would surely come with a gag order, as you said. Much better to leave negative reviews and also tell everyone you can about how awful the doctor and hospital were.

Totally. We could always use money, but we want to help protect people more. I will never go to that hospital and I don't want people I love to either. I am, though, so glad that we never have to deal with her horrible doctor again. My sister could barely bite her tongue when she took Mom to appointments there over the years. Mom was competent, so Sis didn't want to interfere in her medical care, but that guy was awful and Sis always knew it. Told Mom so, but it only made Mom dig her heels in on him more.