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24 October 2010 @ 12:12 am
Boo! (or Halloween Stuffs...)  

My sister made a trip to Target a few days ago. While she was there, she saw some Halloween shirts and bought me one. (She does this every year, she can't resist the cutesy kids clothes - last year it was a green camo t-shirt with a glow-in-the-dark bat in the middle of it. I wore it, but then it shrunk after washing, so I gave it to The Boy Cousin, who loved it and wore it for months.) This one is a girl's shirt, because yes, I can still wear children-sized clothing. It is a black t-shirt with hot pink lettering that reads, "I /heart/ Vampires." The /heart/ is made of that shiny material that looks like the picture changes when it moves. In the middle of the heart is a pair of red kissing lips, vampire fangs included.

Years ago I made up a character for the TV show Angel, mostly so I could make art for it. Her name was Adison and yes, she was a vampire.

Sister: I saw that shirt and I thought, "/snort/ Adison would want that shirt." But since she's not real, I bought it for you instead.
Me: Adison would only want that shirt because it would be ironic. I, however, want this shirt because it is awesome.
Sister: Or because you are lame.
Me: /fist bump the air/
Sister: You aren't suppose to be proud of that.
Me: Whatever.

I wore my "I /heart/ Vampires" shirt during Friday's Supernatural episode. My sister points out how appropriate my choice of clothing is. I am all, "Duh. That's why I wore it." I'm smart like that. And lame. Shut up, I love my little girl clothes!

A little less Halloween and a little more cat-related - my sister's kittens are a year old and they are still the cutest little things ever. While she was at Target, my sister saw in the $1 bins that they had smishy spiders made out of that sticky webby material. They also had sticky webby mice that stick to the wall. And sticky webby ninjas that are the kind you throw at the wall and they stick and then crawl down the wall. So she buys them and brings them home and flings them all at the wall.

The mice stick and stay up there. So she flings them as high up as she can and the little kittens frantically try to climb the wall because, "OMG, there are little buggy creatures on Mommy's wall, you guys!"

Then she flings the ninjas and they start flipping down the wall - hand to feet, hand to feet - and the kittens are tripping out. Pippin is scared and watching from the corner. James T. Kirk is reaching for a ninja, only to have it flip right as he approaches and then he goes jumping back. But he wasn't even scared anyways, you guys. He totally wasn't, so there. I can't even describe how funny it was to watch them freak out over these ninjas climbing down the wall. It went on for like an hour, we just kept flinging the toys and they just kept trying to be ferocious.

Also, the sticky spiders didn't stick to the wall, but I put them on the kittens' backs and Kirk turned around in a frantic circle trying to bite himself and poor Pippin hunkered down on all fours and just started having terrible tremors. I removed the spiders and we don't play that game anymore.

We also have one of those Halloween candy dishes with a skeleton hand in it. When you go to reach into the dish, the skeleton hand snaps down on you and a voice says, "Want some candy?" all creepy like. We put all the kittens' Halloween toys in there and turned it on. Kirk was determined to get his toys back out, even if it meant he had to kill that skeleton hand dead. Kill it dead, I tell you.

Though, their favorite game is still, "Ewww, Spiders!".

I wish we had a video camera.

We have a graveyard at our house. Hahaha, okay it is made of styrofoam graves and is only for Halloween, but it looks awesome. Every year it gets a little bit bigger and a little bit more elaborate. There is a zombie hand coming out of one of the graves and a pirate skeleton coming out of another and they both light up at night. We also have a cackling witch on our door and giant spider web with a massive-sized spider on the side of the house. It looks pretty cool.

The first day that it was up, I saw several cars slow down as they drove past and one car even outright stopped. There was an elderly couple out for a walk that stopped for like 3 minutes and pointed at everything.

And then there were the neighborhood kids.

This boy was probably 9 or 10, and he had the little 4 year old twin girls with him. He's not their brother, he lives next door to them I think, and he must have gone and gotten them specifically to bring the girls down to see our graveyard. The boy is standing all nonchalant with his arms crossed watching as the girls run through the graveyard, darting the tombstones like an obstacle course, to touch the pirate skeleton head and then squeal and rush back to the boy again.

After a minute of daring each other to touch the skeleton, they decide to creep up on the spider web. While they are doing that, the boy looks around to see if anyone is watching and then darts up and touches the skeleton head and then darts away again. I'm watching all this from the living room, but they can't see me. The girls are trying to touch the spider but they can't reach it, so the boy comes over and starts to lift them up so they can touch it. And that's when he sees me watching them. He grabs them both by the back of their shirts and hauls them out of our yard - (we are the crazy women who yell at the neighborhood kids to get the hell off our lawns, after all.) - and the girls are screaming, "No, the spider!" and the boy is yelling at them, "Come on!"

It was hysterical.

Then a few days later, one of the girls comes back with her big brother and is showing him everything and my sister goes outside to say 'hi' and tell them it's okay if they want to come over and touch the spider.

Sister: It's real you know.
Boy: No it isn't.
Sister: Yes it is, it comes to life at night and moves around. Watch for it, it totally moves.
Girl: /in a high pitched squeal/ I told you! I told you! I saw it moving!

My sister is evil like this. (This is the woman who plans to dress up as a zombie for Halloween, with her intestines spilling out, and attempt to frighten all the children by opening the door and screeching "Brainzzz" at them.)

And lastly in the saga of our graveyard - two days ago, the kitten Pippin goes bounding over to the window all freaked out and excited. So I look outside...

And there, wandering amongst the tombstones of our graveyard...is a big black dog.

Not a black lab or the neighborhood Rottweiler, mind you - but a huge waist-high, shaggy furry ass black dog with a long snout that looked almost like a wolf. It had big pointy teeth that curled outside its lips and I watched it until it lifted its head because I was sure that it was going to have red eyes.

A fricking black dog in our fricking graveyard, you peoples. It was trippy and creepy.

On a final note...

I don't even think I'm going to dress up. I want to be a zombie. It's our theme this year. The BFF has a zombie costume. My sister has a zombie costume. I can't decide what clothing to wear. Plus, it will be like two days after my eye surgery, so I won't be able to wear any makeup anywhere near my eyes.

The only thing I have come up with is either my military pants (which I don't know if they fit anymore) and my army tank top and then I can put a huge bite mark in my arm and one across my neck without probably getting any makeup on my clothes. The BFF is using an old pair of pajamas that she doesn't want anymore and is going to be a zombie in pajamas - (which makes me think of how Barbara got bit by the nice man in the pajamas in "Shaun of the Dead") - but I don't have any clothes that I feel like ripping up from zombie bites or getting makeup on. I also thought I could wear my red salsa dress (it's red and shiny and sparkly and I look hot in it) and then a pair of tights (cuz I get cold easily) but I could put a rip in my tights (they cost me like $4) and put a zombie bite on my leg and again across my neck, like I had my throat ripped out.

I don't know. Then I guess I have to go to the store and pick up some stuff, because the sister came home with a bag of fake wounds and blood and shit, but her costume is so extreme, she'll probably be using it all herself. (She really wants to give the neighborhood kids nightmares...and I approve).

We now have Halloween candy in the house. I had a Tootsie Roll.

That is all my Halloween News.
Annieaythia on October 24th, 2010 04:36 am (UTC)
This post was made of win! And I totally get the fist pumping over the t-shirt thing. You're not lame.. you're just seriously fucking weird!

"I removed the spiders and we don't play that game anymore."
You're a cruel cruel bitch :P
dodger_sister: velma-bloodyretrododger_sister on October 28th, 2010 08:43 am (UTC)
And I totally get the fist pumping over the t-shirt thing. You're not lame.. you're just seriously fucking weird!

Thank you and shut it!! You would totally wear that shirt too - I know you would!!!

"I removed the spiders and we don't play that game anymore."
You're a cruel cruel bitch :P

It was funny when the one cat kept turning in circles but when poor Pippin was freaked the fuck out - then it wasn't funny anymore.
Ironlily - Making My Marquevikingprincess on October 24th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC)
I wish I had the energy to be as cool for Halloween this year as you guys are! :)
dodger_sister: velma-bloodyretrododger_sister on October 28th, 2010 08:44 am (UTC)
To be fair - my sister does all the work for this. Halloween is my favorite holiday and I used to complain that we didn't decorate or pass out candy back in our apartment. She was all, "We live in an apartment, it would be lame." But dude, as soon as we got the house and the yard, she made up for lost time! I love it.
ranua: I'm a fucking demonranua on October 25th, 2010 11:05 am (UTC)
Halloween clothes and decorating for the win! I too have a graveyard in my yard, but it doesn't look as cool as yours sounds. Also, your sister scaring the neighbor kids? Priceless.

I love kitten games *sighs* They do some of the best stuff don't they?
dodger_sister: velma-bloodyretrododger_sister on October 28th, 2010 08:47 am (UTC)
Our graveyard was lame first year, the tombstones kept falling down. This year, the sister drilled holes into the ground, then stuck stakes up in the tombstones to get them to stay. She is hardcore.

I should have posted pictures. Maybe next year.

Have you pictures of your graveyard?

Kittens are awesome. I'm hoping because there are two of them, they will stay playful for years. They are so easy to wind up - it's awesome.
ranuaranua on October 28th, 2010 12:15 pm (UTC)
Alas, no pics, also, the graveyard mostly blew away in the last two days, we've had winds over 40mph. I have found most of the 'stones' (they are only styrofoam) I just gotta wait out the wind to re-decorate.
dodger_sister: velma-bloodyretrododger_sister on November 2nd, 2010 05:41 am (UTC)
We had 35mph winds here. The tombstones were drilled into the ground, so they managed to stay until Friday night. Then they got so battered down by wind and rain, that we couldn't salvage a few of them. And on Friday night, someone rang our doorbell and when we answered it, some woman was standing there with a tombstone in her hand - "Hi, I found this flying down the road and thought it might be yours." lol
ranuaranua on November 4th, 2010 12:02 am (UTC)
no rain here, but the fake spiderweb was so full of leaves it was un-salvageable, it did make it look authentic though. lol