dodger_sister (dodger_sister) wrote,
dodger_sister
dodger_sister

Fic: And I Don’t Mean To - PG, Gen, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Wee!chesters, Sam & Dean

As my birthday gift to all of you, I wrote some Wee!chesters. I wanted something that also had to do with "The Lord of the Rings", because it is my hobbit coming-of-age and because LotR was my first online fandom that I wrote fic in. (I also started almost right out in "The West Wing", but that didn't really fit in here).

So I managed to write my current fandom, "Supernatural", while honoring my first fandom, "The Lord of the Rings", and I even threw in a reference to "The A-Team", for which I wrote my first fanfic when I was seven years old.

This is Wee!chesters and filled with Dean's angst. Or teenage emo-ness, if you will. Beware - There are spoilers for "The Lord of the Rings" in here, but absolutely no knowledge of that book/movie is required to read this! Inspired by the following quotes: “Don’t you leave him! they said to me." and "And what do you think my job is?".

Summary: Dean is upset about something. Sam is determined to find out what. PG, Gen, Wee!chesters & 1,236 words.

Dedication: To all my LJ Friends. It’s been a year since I came to this wonderful land called LiveJournal and it has been a fantastic journey, mostly in thanks to all of you. So in honor of my hobbit coming-of-age and in the great tradition of hobbits everywhere, I give to you all this mathom. Enjoy!


Title: And I Don’t Mean To
Author: The Artful Dodger / dodger_sister
Fandom: Supernatural (with a little layer of the Lord of the Rings thrown in).
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Pre-Series, Wee!chesters
Characters/Pairing: Sam & Dean (ages 9 and 13)
Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: For “The Lord of the Rings”. Some quotes from “Supernatural” episode “All Hell Breaks Loose part 2”.
Summary: Dean is upset about something. Sam is determined to find out what.
Word Count: 1,236 words.
Date Written: 05/20/2011
Disclaimer: “Supernatural” = not mine. “Lord of the Rings” book and movie = not mine. “The A-Team” = not mine, sadly. This story = mine. Money = not at all.
Feedback: Bring it. dodger_sister / TheArtofDodger@comcast.net
Beta’d: Nope.
Author's Notes: So, it is my hobbit coming of age - that means my 33rd birthday. As is hobbit tradition, I need to give gifts to all my friends. So I wrote this story for my LiveJournal friends. I wanted to write something in Supernatural, since that is my current main fandom. But I also wanted to get something Lord of the Rings based in there as well, since it is my special hobbity birthday and in honor of my first online fandom - (I was also nearly simultaneously involved in The West Wing, but that didn’t really fit in here). I also managed to work in an A-Team reference, in honor of the first fanfic I wrote when I was seven, titled “Meeting Murdock”. My original idea was wee!Dean comparing John to Boromir and expressing his fear that their dad would succumb to the lure of dark magic and/or die trying to save his two boys, ala Boromir. But then the line at the end of the episode “All Hell Breaks Loose 2” came into my head - “And what do you think my job is?” - and suddenly this story was born. The fic title is a quote from the movie.
Dedication: To all my LJ Friends. It’s been a year since I came to this wonderful land called LiveJournal and it has been a fantastic journey, mostly in thanks to all of you. So in honor of my hobbit coming-of-age and in the great tradition of hobbits everywhere, I give to you all this mathom. Enjoy!




*****

“It’s going to be very dangerous, Sam. It is already dangerous. Most likely neither of us will come back.”
“If you don’t come back, sir, then I shan’t, that’s certain,” said Sam. “Don’t you leave him! they said to me. Leave him! I said. I never mean to. I am going with him, if he climbs to the Moon, and if any of those Black Riders try to stop him, they’ll have Sam Gamgee to reckon with, I said.”
- The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring


*****

Something was wrong with Dean.

He’d been extra quiet all day. In the morning, Sam had figured his big brother was just tired. It’s not like Dean was ever a morning person anyway. But on the walk home from school, Dean had barely been focused on the conversation. Sure, he’d asked Sam how his day went, but he seemed to be lacking in smart-mouth remarks.

Sam was nine, he wasn’t stupid.

Something was wrong.

When they got home, Dean went to their bedroom and shut the door. Sam waited a whole five minutes before he followed after him.

Dean was sitting on his bed, legs splayed out in front of him, eyes closed and his walkman earphones attached to his head.

Their dad always said those headphones were going to permanently attach themselves to Dean like a living entity.

Sam climbed up on the bed and settled between Dean and the wall.

“What, Sam?” Dean asked and he sounded tired more than anything.

Sam slid the earphones off his brother‘s head before asking, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” but Dean didn’t sound okay.

Their dad would ask if Dean felt alright.

“Are you sick?”

“Nope.”

Sam reached up one hand and brushed it across Dean’s forehead just to be sure.

Dean cracked an eye open. “What are you doing?”

“Just checking.”

Uh-huh.” Dean sounded like Sam had grown two heads.

Except if Sam had grown two heads, Dean probably wouldn’t be sitting so close to him right then. Dean had something called a hunter’s instinct.

“You’ve been kind of bleh lately,” Sam said, instead of letting himself start thinking about two-headed things like dragons, which are awesome by the way.

Bleh is not a word,” Dean told him.

“Is so.”

“Is not.”

“Is so.”

Dean thudded his head against the wall. “Sammy, come on, man.”

Their dad would ask if it was something at school.

“Is it homework stuff?” Sam asked.

“No. Just drop it already, would ya’?”

Their dad would ask if it was a girl.

“Is it a chick?”

Dean let out a long sigh. “I’m just being emo, okay, Sammy?”

Sam scrunched up his face. “You’re a bird?”

Dean laughed then, a bark of noise that spilled out of his mouth. He looked right at Sam. “You’re a moron.”

“Well, apparently, you’re a bird,” Sam said and looked away before Dean could see the blush on his cheeks.

Emo. It just means I’m being a big giant girl about stupid shit, okay?”

Sam shrugged. “Yeah. But, I mean…you could talk to me about it…if you wanted.”

Dean was quiet for a moment and Sam decided his brother wasn’t going to say anything.

Just as Sam started to slide off the bed, Dean said, “We’re reading this book at school and something happened in it that bothered me. That’s all.”

“What book?” Sam asked and slid back next to Dean, let himself lean into his brother’s side a little.

“Lord of the Rings. It’s the sequel to The Hobbit.”

“No. Way. There is a sequel to The Hobbit?” It was possible Sam was bouncing a little on the bed. “Can we read it together sometime?”

“It’s kind of…maybe next year when you’re ten. It’s not really a kid’s book.”

“I’m not really a kid, Dean.”

That probably wasn’t the right thing to say to make Dean not be emo though, so Sam kept going.

“What’s it about?”

“Uh, Bilbo’s magic ring and his nephew, Frodo, has to hide it from the big bad guy. It’s like dark magic and Frodo has these friends helping him on his journey to destroy the ring. Fantasy stuff.”

“Cool,” Sam said. But that didn’t really explain why Dean was upset. “So, you don’t like it?”

Dean sighed again. “You aren’t gonna let it go until I share my feelings, are you, Oprah?”

Sam just grinned. “Maybe later we can talk about our periods.”

Sam had no idea what a period was, but Dean said that all the time, so it had to mean something girly.

Dean shoved Sam into the wall, but he was smiling, so Sam was smiling too.

“Okay, see, there is Frodo and his best friend, Samwise,” Dean started.

If Dean wasn’t looking at him while he talked, Sam wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. Caring and sharing wasn’t really Dean’s thing.

“It’s Samwise’s job to look out for Frodo,” Dean went on. “He took care of Frodo at home and now he will follow him on his journey, even through all the danger and shit, right?”

Sam just nodded.

“But then Frodo decides it is too dangerous and everyone wants the magic ring for themselves and he can’t trust anybody and he’s gonna get his friends all killed…”

Dean seemed like he was talking really fast. Sam wanted to hold his hand, but Dean didn’t like to do that now that Sam wasn’t a baby anymore. So instead he pushed himself closer into his brother’s side and let Dean keep talking.

“So, Frodo tries to leave. He takes off to leave Samwise behind and Sam just tries to swim after his boat, only Sam can’t swim, so he’s gonna drown, just ‘cause…‘cause…’cause it’s his job to take care of Frodo and Frodo just left him.”

Dean took a deep shuddering breath and then let it out with a quiet, “He just left him, Sammy.”

Dean could yell at him if he wanted, Sam didn’t really care right then. He reached out and took his older brother’s hand in his own.

“Because Frodo thought he couldn’t trust Sam or he’d get hurt or something?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean said softly. He was scrubbing at the dirt on his pant leg. “I was just reading it and thinking how you’re like Frodo and it’s my job to take care of you, is all.”

Sam was nine, which their dad said was pretty old in Winchester-years, but it still took him a minute. Then he got it, bright and clear, and before he could stop himself, he had both arms wrapped around Dean’s neck.

“Then I promise, I won’t never leave you, Dean. I won’t never leave you.”

Dean huffed out a breath and said, “Oh my god, we are gonna grow boobs,” but he reached up to pull Sam closer, so Sam figured it was probably going to be okay now.

***

Much later, after homework and dinner and reruns of The A-Team, when Sam was warm and comfortable under his covers, he still hadn’t quite stopped thinking about it.

“Hey, Dean?”

“Hmmm?” Dean answered, but it was slurred and Sam could barely hear him through what was probably a pillow over his head.

“What if I’m Samwise?”

“What?” Dean asked and through the light from the bedroom window, he could see Dean pushing his pillow aside.

“What if I’m Samwise?”

“Just ‘cause your name is Sam, doesn’t mean you’re Samwise,” Dean told him.

“But what if it’s your journey and I’m just suppose to follow you?”

“It’s not.”

“But…but it’s my job to take care of you too, Dean. That’s my job.”

Maybe Dean didn’t know it, but their dad had always said so.

His brother was quiet for a long time and Sam decided he must have fallen asleep, but then Dean looked at him with wide, clear eyes.

“Then I promise I’ll never leave you, Sam. I’ll never leave you.”

*****

Dean: I had to look out for you. That’s my job!
Sam: And what do you think my job is?
Dean: What?
Sam: You saved my life, over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me, don’t you think I’d do the same thing for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.
- Supernatural, All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2


*****


The End
Tags: birthdays, character - dean winchester, character - sam winchester, fandom - supernatural, fandom is made of awesome, fandom saved my life, fic - angst, fic - general, fic - hurt/comfort, fic - pre-series, fic - wee!chesters, fiction - mine, friends 4evah, lord of the rings took my virginity, rating - pg, word count - 1001 to 3000, written - 2011
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