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11 July 2011 @ 09:42 pm
18 Months.  
It occurs to me that, given the icon I used for this post is an icon from "Oz", ya'll might think I just got sentenced to 18 months in prison.

Um...no. It's actually my current "tattoo" icon, as I am now about to SHARE PICS OF MY TATTOO WITH YOU. (I know, I know, it only took me 6 months). But I figured since I got the tat for my one year drug-free celebration, and today yesterday being my 18 MONTHS CLEAN, that it is a good day to share.

Yep...18 MONTHS! In which I haven't swallowed a pill stronger than a regular strength Tylenol.

I'm actually feeling a lot better about it too. Especially since I started physical therapy. Even though I often come home from my sessions and have to lay down on the couch with the heating pad - overall, I feel better and stronger. Before I would get these bouts of pain and I would get so freaked out, thinking that some day, at some point, I will have to give in and take something for the pain. But now that I have someone working with me and getting me limber and keeping my muscles in good shape - I think maybe that day might be a lot farther off than I could have hoped for. Kevin, my physical therapist, and I had a good talk about it the other day and I basically said as long as he would put up with me being a pain in his ass, I would keep coming in and doing the work. Whatever it takes to put off that inevitable day for as long as I can.

Of course, there are still times where I want to surrender to the oblivion for personal emotional reasons - (nope, still don't want to talk about my mom yet) - or I forget why I am struggling so hard to stay clean, because what the hell am I doing with my life anyways...but I don't quite feel like I am up against the emotional and the physical at the same time, which is a good thing.

I should probably point out that this doesn't include alcohol, as I did get a little tipsy on vacation. I allow myself a drink or two like twice a year, but I really am a disgrace to my Irish heritage in that respect and don't really enjoy it that much anyways.

Anyways, I would have made this post yesterday - I actually typed it all up and everything - but I couldn't find my photos I had taken of the tattoo. I searched my computer for the phrase "tat" and all I got were pictures of Chad Michael Murray. What has my life become? Thankfully, My Wonderful Awesome BFF took some new ones for me. Thank you, liptonrm - (I could say it a million times a day for a million things, babe!)

I designed the tattoo myself and then I sent it to tringic - (My Girl!) - and she cleaned up the lines for me so it was perfect and exactly what I wanted, because my version was nowhere near good enough for my arm - (tringic is an amazing artist and she totally pulled this out for me and I can't thank her enough! Seriously). It is an Ankh, which symbolizes rebirth - and a Sun, which also symbolizes rebirth. I don't just feel like the rebirth was about getting off the pills, but I am also trying to work more on other things about myself as well. And I started writing again and I realized how much I missed it. So I thought the ankh and sun were good choices. Plus, I have always been oddly obsessed with the ankh in general, dating back to a necklace I had when I was like 14. The tattoo is on my left arm.

So...now would you like to see it? Hey, Tringic, are you watching, baby?!











Now maybe tomorrow I'll catch up on comments. What? Don't give me that face - I totally maybe will.
 
 
 
Kate: found my wingsceitfianna on July 12th, 2011 02:00 am (UTC)
That's a beautiful tattoo.
dodger_sister: tattoododger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I was unsure when I first got it, how I felt about it, but now I am rather in love with it. :)
Still waiting for all those "fresh, new" stories.oselle on July 12th, 2011 02:02 am (UTC)
A) That is great that you're off the stuff.
B) I am detoxing from Klonopin right now and I've got about another two months to go and I'm just hoping that I don't find out I need to go back on it.
C) I am also planning to get a tattoo. Probably for my birthday. A big fucking trampstamp too. And then I'm going to go out and buy lots of lowslung jeans and be a disgusting middle-aged broad with a trampstamp and lowslung jeans. So there.
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)

Klonopin - everything I have ever heard about getting off this sounds terrible. I hope the detox-symtopms lessen as time goes on, even though the full recovery can take several months.

A big fucking trampstamp too. And then I'm going to go out and buy lots of lowslung jeans and be a disgusting middle-aged broad with a trampstamp and lowslung jeans. So there.

hahaha, omg. Dude, I would totally get a trampstamp - (I just like to say the word trampstamp) - except I don't think I could reach my back well enough to do the aftercare and no way I'm asking J to do that!

So what's up, you aren't getting the Hartnett tat anymore? Come on, make my sister get one with you! DO IT!
(Deleted comment)
dodger_sister: tattoododger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)

I can't remember - did you ever get the tattoo you wanted to get for your birthday?
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Deni: Dean/Cas - Watching over youdenig37 on July 12th, 2011 02:47 am (UTC)
*hugs*...I like the tattoo :-D
dodger_sister: hugdodger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:30 pm (UTC)
/hugs back, bb!/ Thank you. I've rather enjoyed this summer, wearing all the tank tops and showing of my ink! ;)
Ironlily - Making My Marque: elephantflyingvikingprincess on July 12th, 2011 04:08 am (UTC)
Love it! And also, congratulations on 18 MONTHS! Woot!
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I am so glad I got the tat!

I actually have a hard time believing it has been 18 months. I just read someone's post about how time seems to speed up as we get older - and we are constantly like, "Wasn't that just last week? It was three months ago? Really?" That kind of how I feel. ;)
(no subject) - vikingprincess on July 17th, 2011 12:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
Why all the pearls?Why all the hair?Why anything?: B/K rhymephile on July 12th, 2011 05:28 am (UTC)
Congrats on the 18 months and the tattoo. I have always been a pro-tattoo girl to memorialize/mark something.

Here's one of mine. Lucky for me I'm a fatty and thus get much more room for ink than the average gal. I got this in Vancouver when I was there on vacation in 2006. It's a Native American (or in this case, First Nations) tattoo showing the Haida bear mother myth.

dodger_sister: tattoododger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)

You know, I've always wanted a tattoo. When I think of myself running around hunting monsters or fighting aliens - (what? everyone else does that too, right?) - I always have a tat. But it is so much better to have gotten it for such a special occassion, rather than just for the heck of it, and I'm very glad I did.

Omg. That tattoo is awesome! The coloring is great and the eyes on the one on the top look like it it looking at me!

PS: Out of curiousity, I went and looked up the myth your tattoo was based on - now I've got a million ideas for Bear People art in my head and what they might look like. Too bad my artistic skills are not as good as what's in my head.

Edited at 2011-07-16 11:42 pm (UTC)
Menel: Ewan - Effing Teasemenel on July 12th, 2011 07:12 am (UTC)
The tattoo is beautiful. Congratulations!

And while you've told me about your alcohol tolerance (or lack thereof) before, it really is shameful. We're pretty much the same size (or at least both petite) and I have no doubt that I'd drink you under the table. A drink once or twice a year? *is boggled* I'm appalled if I don't have a bottle of wine in my apartment.
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you, baby. :) I've rather liked showing it off all summer, with my bad-ass tank tops on and all.

Hahaha, dude, I would like to say, "I ruined my liver and am only allowed to drink on rare occassions," which is technically true - but even before that, long before that, I was such a disgrace to my heritage. This time around, I literally had taken about three swallows of my drink and I could already feel that I had to pee. My whole body was flushed by the time I finished drink one and for some reason, I just kept going. Then I had to go back to my room and take off my dress and sit around in my underwear - now I am unsure as to why.
Jojo: Dean - Tattoojojothecr on July 12th, 2011 10:11 am (UTC)
Very cool tattoo! :)

Also, glad to know you're doing better. Keep that up.
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on July 16th, 2011 11:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :) I'm hoping if I keep doing the work my physical therapist gives me, I'll keep my pain levels down enough to stay off the pills. (though I should be exercising right now, instead of LJ-ing, but LJ-ing is more fun!)

Dude, your icon is so distracting me right now. Hi there, Dean's tattoo!

(Look up the number): Jared-SMILEtringic on July 12th, 2011 01:26 pm (UTC)
*SQUEEEEE* Yes, I am watching! and OMG ITS AMAZING. You never did tell me if you'd asked the tattoo artist to make the bottom ray longer or not, so it's cool to see that you didn't (even though I think it would've looked just as awesome if you had).
And 18 months! That requires another celebration, it really does. How about porn? It's blindfold season after all. And I'm waiting for my laptop to defragment and backup anyway, so... Gimme a couple hours & I'll scribble something :D (you could also prompt me if you read this relatively soon, but I never know when you're online)
(Look up the number)tringic on July 13th, 2011 11:39 pm (UTC)
*pokes* Here, for you ♥ it's not what I was planning, but it's where it went.
(no subject) - dodger_sister on July 17th, 2011 06:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on July 17th, 2011 06:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tringic on July 17th, 2011 10:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on July 21st, 2011 05:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
wolfrider89: 1 tattoowolfrider89 on July 12th, 2011 01:50 pm (UTC)
OMG, look at it! It's so awesome! I'm very glad you're happy with it, bb. :)

Also, congrats to 18 months! *throws confetti again*
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on July 17th, 2011 07:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks, baby!!

I was at a social event a few weeks ago and two of my cousins were standing off to the side whispering to each other and glancing at me. Finally I was like, "What?!" because I could tell they were totally talking about me and it was starting to piss me off! And they were both like, "We want to see your tattoo!" lol

I just keep thinking how if I hadn't gotten off the pills, I never would have met any of you and that would be sad.

*throws confetti again*

Lol, it's becoming a theme for you. /hugs/
(no subject) - wolfrider89 on July 17th, 2011 10:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
lizibabeslizibabes on July 12th, 2011 10:21 pm (UTC)
Congrats on the 18 months, my mind boogles over how hard that must have been!
Awesome Tattoo as well, the ones with meaning are always the best! I think you choose really well, both the meaning and the design.
Damn this makes me want to get my next Tattoo though
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on July 17th, 2011 07:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I failed more than once to get off the stuff, but once I did, I found a pretty good support system amongst my friends. :)

Thanks! I love my tattoo. I have other ideas of designs in my head, but this is the one I have wanted for about 15 years now, and once I added the sun to the design, I knew I had it perfect.

Can I ask how many tattoos you have? I really want to get one just above my hip next, but I figure that'll be a few years coming.
(no subject) - lizibabes on July 17th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on July 21st, 2011 05:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lizibabes on July 21st, 2011 07:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on July 22nd, 2011 01:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lizibabes on July 22nd, 2011 10:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ranua: just over the horizonranua on July 13th, 2011 11:04 am (UTC)
That is a fabulous tattoo. And 18 months clean and sober! Can I just say again I'm so glad you are, because otherwise I never would have met you and the chain of events that resulted from that never would of happened and hey, thanks, ya know.

And not only are you clean, you've taken steps to change your life, which is probably the harder thing to accomplish. So, congratulations, and here's to 18 more years.
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on July 17th, 2011 07:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I love the tattoo a lot. I'm really glad I went through with it - (almost chickened out the day before!)

Can I just say again I'm so glad you are, because otherwise I never would have met you and the chain of events that resulted from that never would of happened and hey, thanks, ya know.

It's been my pleasure, darling. I know people who don't understand our little community, can't possibly understand how much of a difference these friendships have made. I slowly found this handful of people (you included, babe!) that have been so supportive and understanding. Like I can't imagine having never met you or going back on the pills and being too out of it to stay in touch with you. I recognize that this community is something I would lose if I slip and that makes me more determined.

And not only are you clean, you've taken steps to change your life, which is probably the harder thing to accomplish.

Thank you for saying so. It was hard at first to say to people, "I need help," not just for the pills, but afterwards, when I knew I had to make some changes or I would fall back into it.

So, congratulations, and here's to 18 more years.

Thank you, babe!
flawed_x_designflawed_x_design on July 20th, 2011 01:26 pm (UTC)
Oh hon I am SO SO happy to hear that things are going well for you!!!! 18 months is one hell of an achievement!!
I'm sure that 'inevitable day' is much less inevitable than you think. Keep it up :D

The tattoo looks awesome! I love that it means rebirth too :)
I was actually wondering if I'd missed the photos the other day oddly enough lol (I promise I'm not creepy, my friend was talking about getting one and we had a huge discussion about tattoos)

I searched my computer for the phrase "tat" and all I got were pictures of Chad Michael Murray. What has my life become? Awesome. It has become awesome, lol
dodger_sister: happydodger_sister on July 23rd, 2011 02:15 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!! I don't ever discount the impact my LJ friendships (yours included!) have made on my ability to focus and not just want to take painkillers all the time. :)

And physically, even though it was hard after 15 years to call Kevin up and say, "I screwed up and I need help," now I know there is someone I can tell when I have pain and there is actually something we can do about it. Putting off the inevitable day is definitely a good thing.

I love the tattoo - everything I found on the internet was people saying, "Make sure yours has a special meaning," and I was always under the assumption that the ankh meant "New Life" which some people say is a fresh start but others had told me meant fertility and babies. So I thought before I got it, I should be sure and it technically means Rebirth. So then I searched Rebirth Symbols and I also got the Sun symbol and suddenly I knew what I wanted.

No, you hadn't missed the photos, I am just a lazy poster and once it reached like March, I figured I might as well wait for my 18 months to put up the pictures. lol

---I searched my computer for the phrase "tat" and all I got were pictures of Chad Michael Murray. What has my life become?---

Awesome. It has become awesome, lol


Hahaha, I'm glad someone thinks so! I kind of think so too - I just love Chad, idk know why!!
(no subject) - flawed_x_design on July 23rd, 2011 08:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on July 24th, 2011 03:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flawed_x_design on July 24th, 2011 03:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on July 26th, 2011 09:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flawed_x_design on August 2nd, 2011 12:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on August 5th, 2011 02:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flawed_x_design on August 11th, 2011 01:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flawed_x_design on August 11th, 2011 01:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on August 12th, 2011 08:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on August 12th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flawed_x_design on August 24th, 2011 01:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dodger_sister on August 25th, 2011 04:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - flawed_x_design on August 25th, 2011 09:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
Trigger Warning: Lifematchboximpala on August 7th, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
That tattoo is amazing and it is terrific that you got something with such personal meaning. I couldn't think of anything specific I wanted, so I just got the inside part of the SPN tattoo and now when people ask me what it means, I just say it keeps me from being possessed by demons. I get a lot of weird looks.
dodger_sister: tattoododger_sister on August 13th, 2011 01:54 am (UTC)
Thank you! I always knew I wanted the ankh symbol but it wasn't until I came up with the sun inside of it that the whole tattoo felt complete.

I have had someone actually ask me if my sun symbol is the inside part of the SPN tat. It isn't, but it does look a lot like it, which makes it extra cool.

I just say it keeps me from being possessed by demons.

It's perfectly valid - demon possession is a real concern! They give you weird looks, but they'll be sorry when the demon apocalypse comes!!