dodger_sister (dodger_sister) wrote,
dodger_sister
dodger_sister

Just Shove Your Hands Between My Legs.

Now I shall talk about the cute guy at therapy, who for the purpose of this post, we shall refer to as Cute Guy.


There is this guy; early 20s maybe, tall, dark hair, real cute, that works as an aide at therapy. I had never seen him before, but when he came out to get me in the waiting room, I was like oh, cute guy, get his name since you flirted for weeks with the last cute guy and didn't know his name! I introduced myself and shook his hand. Then Cute Guy was my aide on the machines and we made nice small talk. I totally behaved myself and everything, because I don't just randomly jump every person I think is remotely cute. I DON'T, I SWEAR! Afterwards, well, the tables are too high for me to get up onto, so Kevin usually lifts me, right? Cherri tells Cute Guy to go get Kevin to lift me and all I said was, "I think Cute Guy can handle it." And Cherri says, "Oh. OH!" and then yells across the room, "Wait, Cute Guy, come back! /whispers/ I don't think about stuff like that, I've been married too long."

What...was I leering when I said it? Was I thinking about guys who can pick me up like Jayne Cobb and Jared Padalecki? Was I? Yes, probably. And okay, maybe I asked Cute Guy when he started working there and when he said, "September," I answered with, "What? Really? How have I not noticed you before this? I think I would have noticed you," but neither Kevin nor Cherri witnessed that. Now every time Cute Guy is there, Kevin is all, "Do you want me to go get him to work with you on this?" and one day it was all, "Omg, I think he just came on shift!" in his faux-teenage-girl voice and then bounced on his toes like a dork. I finally yelled at him to stop being a dick and then he yelled at me to stop yelling at him in front of his clients.

Thank god Kevin didn't know all the crushes I had in high school, because high-school-me would have been insanely embarrassed if he had been giving me a hard time about a crush in front of people. I also possibly would have had to go vandalize the building, as teenagers are apt to do. As it is now, I just tell him to shut his face, because I'm not embarrassed. But then, Cute Guy stopped making eye contact with me ever after that.

See, Cute Guy is the one embarrassed. Not me. I have no shame.

They also got a New Guy who is pretty good-looking, but not nearly as cute as Cute Guy and Kevin was like, "You haven't even said anything about our new guy yet," like I go around making lewd comments about him and/or his employees or something.

Oh.

Right.

I told him flat out that New Guy wasn't as hot as Cute Guy, and then I told the girls they had to start telling Kevin how good-looking he is and stroke his ego a little, because he was starting to feel insecure with everyone gushing over the new guy all the time. Poor Kevin.

When I was asking Kevin if we could possibly borrow his truck to help my mom move and trying to determine if any of his kids were available to help with the move, he was all, "Don't you want Cute Guy to help too? Because the rule is when men help move furniture, they have to take off their shirts." I realized that calling him a douchebag wasn't working, so I decided to change tactics and just tell the truth. So I said, "Yes, actually, I tried to figure a way to get him there, because that is the rule about men and moving, but Cute Guy is a grown-up who has a real job and doesn't work for $20, unlike your kids, who will do it because you told them they had too. Trust me, I tried to figure a way to get Cute Guy there."

Kevin shut up after that. It was very rewarding.

Yesterday, Kevin had stepped out when I got there and I somehow ended up working with Cute Guy and the first thing he asked me was if I had seen Cowboys & Aliens. We talked about it and about how I want to see Shark Night 3D, and it was perfectly fine, but Kevin wasn’t there to smirk at me the whole time, so… And finally, the Cute Guy story wraps up with him trying to get the heat wrap around my hip and me going, "Listen, Cute Guy, here's the deal. Just shove your hands between my legs, okay? Just go for it." He turned pink. It was adorable. I’m a horrible person.

Honestly, that was only like 1/4 of the stories from therapy. Since today's LJ question was something about, "What was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?" or whatever...I probably should have used this post to tell you the really nice story I had about Kevin and nice things he has said to me, as that is one of the stories I intend to share anyway. But, instead, I talked about Cute Guy. There you have it.

I away now.
Tags: because i'm sick and twisted like that, dirty old lady, douchebags, family circus, jared padalecki has soft hair, jayne cobb - my space husband, movie blahblahblahing, punk-rock-girl, real life, that's why they call it a workout
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