Papa Bear was having so much trouble breathing on Friday that I took him in and they found a mass in his chest - probably what started the whole thing with his kidneys. I thought I would get to take him home for one last night but when I got there, he was gasping so hard, I knew I couldn't take him home. The hardest part this weekend has been those few moments when I expect him to be there - when I feel my sister's cat at my feet and think it is him, when I get up and he doesn't follow me to the bathroom, when I open the porch door and he isn't there to herd all the other cats out onto it. Also, that the other cats keep looking for him - Roo, who Papa used to sleep with every night before he got sick, keeps wandering into my room crying at night, and at bedtime Big Buddy goes from room to room in a search and rescue formation looking for Papa. Friday I had told them all I was bringing Papa home and I came home with an empty cat carrier instead. My sister's cat, Kirk, literally stomped angrily to each of Papa's hideyholes, until finally he found the hoodie I was wearing at the vet when I was holding Papa and he smelled it all over and then went to sleep on it. Even Pippin has slept with me every single day, like he knows I'm upset. I also had a bizarre dream last night about being on vacation with my family in a hotel and Papa was there, knocking over the hotel's potted plants. I woke up pretty upset.
A few extremely kind things have been that my dad and my sister paid the majority of the cat bills from all of this, so I didn't have to dip into my Christmas money. hiyacynth has offered to send a little headstone for when we bury his ashes. Papa really, really loved hiyacynth a lot and it's amazing of her to do this for him (and me). And liptonrm had some really nice things to say about my baby in her LJ, even though it made me cry.
A picspam of my best boy and then I'm going to throw myself into catching up on comments.
This is the youngest picture I seem to have of Papa (back when he was still "Audrey"). He is about 9 months old here and this is the only picture I have of him in our first apartment together. I don't know why I got a kitten and didn't rush out and get a camera. I wonder if I have any footage on my old video camera. Also, is it weird that I can tell who that is sitting there with him just by that knee? Well, James was the only guy I hung out with that Papa ever really liked - used to sleep on James' jacket whenever he spent the night.
Papa is just over a year old here and these are his kittens - the ones he had with my sister's cat. The kittens are almost 2 months old here. The fluffy one is Whispa and she is asleep on Muggins. The little grey one snuggling up with Papa is Roo. Papa really was the best daddy ever. It's how he got his name.
Here he is with Roo again, two years later.
Here he is on the couch (where I was sleeping at the time, not that there was ever room for me once the kittens came!) with Whispa.
And here he is with Whispa two years later.
This is Krycek aka Big Buddy in the window at my mom's house. Krycek wanted to be looking outside at The World, but apparently Papa thought he wasn't clean enough, Four kittens and Papa spent most of his days cleaning them.
Here he is with Big Buddy again, not sure how many years have past in this one but at least seven.
This is in my bedroom at my mom's house when I lived with her. A rare occasion when he didn't have a kitten draped across him.
And this is the apartment I had with my sister. On her bed. In Zippo's spot. With Zippo's boyfriend, Mr. Bun. I imagine Zippo either was not at home at the moment or else a fight broke out very soon after this picture was taken.
This is 2007 and yes, those are High School Musical sheets. Papa loved those sheets a lot for some reason. Also, shut up, I can like HSM if I want!
With his pillow. They sew them for the Humane Society and sell them at the vet. We've had a 100 over the years, but that one right there was his. We lost it for a few years, found it at the bottom of toybox and set it on the floor - Papa literally came running across the room and threw himself on top of it like a long lost friend.
He really loved that damn frog.
I don't seem to have any of him with my sister's kittens. They weren't even biologically his, but he treated them like they were. I bet I have some on the film from last year's convention that I never got developed. I should take that in and find out.
Off now to catch up on everything. /hugs/