dodger_sister (dodger_sister) wrote,
dodger_sister
dodger_sister

My Boyfriend Will Smite You, Bitches!

It's been nearly two weeks, so it's time to make our official announcement - I am, in fact, dating Chuck Shurley.

Suck on it, ladies.

Now for all you nay-sayers who are going "But, um, Dodger? Chuck isn't a real person." - I say "My boyfriend will smite you down with his thunderous hand."

Okay, so my sister has Sims 3. It's been in game play for about three weeks now. And just over a week ago, the Dodger Sim got her first boyfriend. CHUCK FREAKING SHURLEY!

That's right, ladies. I am dating Carver Edlund, famed cult novelist of the Supernatural books. I take good care of my baby, in exchange for which, I get to see the first drafts of all of his works. I will know things that are going to happen to Sam and Dean before you. My fan-fiction will rule the internets. I will be the BNF of the world. Because my boyfriend is CHUCK FREAKING SHURLEY.

He is also very cute, doesn't require that I wear pants, always has whiskey on hand, and has these random but very cute guys (one in a trenchcoat even though it's summer which is weird but he's yummy, so whatever) who stop over often. (They usually make my boyfriend all blundery and nervous, but they don't wig when I stare at their pretty faces, or perv on their car, and they insist I do better about it than Chuck's last girlfriend - whose name we don't ever mention because who does she think she is? My Wincest is better than hers anyway!)

Um - yeah. In Sims 1, the Dodger Sim randomly showed up at the bar or the dance club with a variety of boyfriends and in the original game she played on Sims 3, the Dodger Sim had a lifetime goal of having 10 boyfriends. And yet, I didn't get as excited about dating Orlando Bloom, Joey Tribbani, Shawn Spencer, Logan James (who I apparently had a child with, wtf), Jayne Cobb, Krusty the Klown (who totally replaced Orlando as my #1 dance competition partner - we ruled the floor, baby), Geoffrey Shawcross...you get the idea. Many of them I dated at the same time, to fulfill my ultimate goal of having ten boyfriends.

And still, somehow, dating Chuck seems better than all of that combined. Also, as my goal is still to have ten boyfriends, I think given that it is Chuck and all, shouldn't he count as like four boyfriends? I think he should.

Besides, I find myself hoping that Dodger Sim doesn't actually date anyone else. Oh My God, did I just say that? I don't want to be the whore of Simville? What? I want to be like in a serious relationship where I am loyal to someone? menel and liptonrm, you guys just totally fell off your seats, didn't you?

But it's Chuck. I mean, it's Chuck.

Also, someone has put a crib in my house. I think she maybe trying to tell Chuck and I something. We are very busy writing the next Supernatural book/fan-fiction based on the next Supernatural book, so we haven't gotten on that yet. I find it a much better idea than when I randomly had a baby with Logan, The Wolverine, who I don't think I was even really dating.

Although, I'm not sure Chuck and I are ready for a baby, though it would be exciting. If we do and it is a girl, I would like to name it Ava, for my grandmother. If it is a boy, I think we should name it Gabriel (there isn't a Gabriel in the game!). Also, I live with Karen Walker and she is dating both Evil Councilman Mark Pellegrino and The Evil Djinn. And I think I would be more amused if Karen used the crib and had a child with either of her boyfriends, especially if the Djinn baby came out blue.

Then I was discussing with the bff at the eye doctor, genderswap. She was reading a Always-a-Girl story and discussing how that was a different type of genderswap than the kind I had been trying out. I said that the one I found that I had liked the best, had Gabriel as a female stripper, but I don't even think of it as genderswap, cuz he did it on purpose and then he just changed back when he was done having sex with Castiel and also, sometimes he just wants to be a female stripper. And then I said, "Hey, Gabriel is just like, I'm Gabriel, sometimes I just want to be a female stripper." And as the words "sometimes I just want to be a female stripper" were leaving my mouth, the doctor walked in the room. And all I could think was "I wonder if he's asking himself why I felt the need to clarify that I want to be a female stripper."

But then I thought, "Hey, if I marry Chuck, I will be Gabriel's step-mother. That's weird. Or I'll give birth to Gabriel and then he'll grow up and sometimes be a female stripper."

OMG. This is the weirdest post I have ever made.

In conclusion: I am dating Chuck Shurley. My boyfriend will smite you, bitches. (But not actually any of you, because I love you all.)
Tags: as all world turns is my daytime soap, chuck shurley is my boyfriend, dance-geek, gabriel aka skip aka deputy bill, my boyfriend will smite you bitches, real things that are totally real, sims blathering, sometimes i want to be a female stripper, sunset valley - gayest place on earth, tv show blahblahblahing
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