Last weekend, despite how sick I felt, I managed to have a nice long visit with my friend, David. You may remember him as the guy whose wedding I went to this summer. He was in town for business and we got to see each other, which was Awesome.
We started our conversation with the typical family talk - (his family drama is crazier than mine) - and then moved onto how much he hates his job, followed by TV talk - (he is obsessed with some show about RuPaul and drag queens, that is basically Next Top Model in drag). Eventually, as it goes with us, we talked about porn.
And suddenly this conversation was happening…
D: Did you know that bestiality is called zoophilia now? What, was bestiality not politically correct enough?
Me: Is that what zoophilia is? I saw it on a kink meme and I was afraid to click it. I know bestiality is like Jensen having sex with a dog, but I was like, “Is zoophilia like if they are both dogs?”
D: No, zoophilia and bestiality are the same thing.
Me: Then what if like, Jensen is a giraffe and Jared is a giraffe and they have sex - what is that called?
D: What if they are both pterodactyls - what is that called?
Me: What if they are like pterodactyl-men? Like on The X-Men, where the dude is like a man by day and a crazy-evil-talking-pterodactyl by night.
D: And then they have sex with a man - what is that called?
Me: And he orders his minions, who as far as I can tell are just regular pterodactyls, to like gangrape Wolverine - what is that called?
D: I bet we could look it up on the internet. We should look it up on the internet.
Yeah. This is why David and I are such good friends.
Then at therapy, Kevin and I talked about buttsex. He started it! And then somehow my brain flashed to like a dozen different hardcore Sam/Dean fics, idek wtf but that's how my brain rolls and seriously - if I didn’t know how busy Kevin’s schedule is, I’d say he sits around thinking up things to bring up in conversation just to make my head explode.
Spontaneous combustion - this is how it happens.
Now you see why that all needed to go under a cut.
This is only the second time I have ever felt the need to rate a non-fic entry as "adult".
My life, peoples.