Today started with me waking up to the whole house shaking and this horrible banging noise, as if the house was about to come apart. I woke up screaming, “Oh my god, what is it?” while my sister was just screaming my name. I couldn’t get her to answer me at first, she just kept screaming my name. My first thought was tornado and if repeating my name like that was her trying to get me to take cover, then I needed her to form more words than that. In the meantime, I had sat up damn quick and was slipping into my shoes. Then finally my sister says that she thinks it is an appliance and since it is coming from the front rooms, it must be the dishwasher. “I am going out to investigate,” she says. This, of course, terrified me because it sounded like whatever was making the whole house shake was about to explode. I could just picture her going out to the kitchen to inspect it just as it blew up and killed her on impact. Three of the cats had run in terror downstairs when the house started shaking and Big Buddy had come running back into my room and was cowering under his chair. So now my brain was picturing my sister all exploded on the floor and the house catching on fire and me unable to round up the cats or do anything but flee myself.
You know how people always say, “Oh, I would want to save this or that if the house were on fire,”? I have said that in the past and I know for sure I would be devastated the most by losing all my writing. Family photos can be scrounged back together from family and friends and my lifetime baby-doll - (got her when I was three days old from my sister) - was right next to me on the bed and some portion of my brain had already made me pick her up. But my writing, all my childhood notebooks and my folder of plays I have written and my thousands of words of fanfic and my movie screenplay on my computer - those would be sorely missed after-the-fact in a way that I am sure would break my heart.
But right then, right then in that exact moment - all I could think was, “Just don’t let anyone die.”
Guess what it was? My sister bought this giant wand massager for us to use on our shoulders, since we both carry terrible tension there. I mean, this thing is big enough that I actually have trouble lifting it. She had left it on the floor under her living room chair and the cats had been tussling and had somehow managed to turn it on. It was trapped under the big cushioned chair and flipping about this way and that.
When my sister went out to the living room, the first thing she saw was the box the cats play in - (they like to jump in and out of it and put toys in it) - was shaking like crazy. She thought that one of the cats must be inside and be having like a serious hardcore seizure or something. Then she saw her living room chair was literally jumping up and down and thumping all over and she was like, “OMG, the chair is possessed!! Holy shit!!” We have gone back and forth over whether or not there is something in this house and right then, she was a firm believer. Of course, she then realized it was the ginormous massage wand stuck under the chair.
But holy crap, did that wake us up right and good. I couldn't believe that thing could shake the whole house like that. I got a good cardio workout this morning, that’s for damn sure.